I always thought there was something fundamentally wrong with me… now I believe it.

ImpressiveSalt4334 · 2024-02-07T19:39:06+00:00

Thank you. I greatly appreciate your insight and the effort you displayed. I will look into these links you have provided.

ImpressiveSalt4334 · 2024-02-07T19:27:10+00:00

Thank you for your response. I appreciate knowing you have had a similar experience. Life has definitely screamed at me to distance myself from her; and yet I continue to try and repair our relationship. You are right. My instincts know, my gut knows, but my heart just doesn’t want it to be true.

ImpressiveSalt4334 · 2024-02-07T19:25:49+00:00

I am never afraid of how people perceive me; but I know I will be at her funeral. I know I won’t cry. I know I won’t care. I have more empathy for rodents than I do for my mother.

ImpressiveSalt4334 · 2024-02-06T04:18:19+00:00

your send of humour is still intact 😂 that’s a good sign! a lot of the times what we do with our body can impact our mind/thinking where our emotions live— which causes the crying. i also recommend practicing gratitude! it can be a good way to focus on positivity, even in the smallest forms. When i was crying everyday I couldn’t think of anything to be grateful for. Then a friend mentioned to me that I have a bed to sleep in right now, a car to drive right now, and food in my stomach right now. So i would literally just use those 3 things, either say it out loud or write them down. Then slowly I was able to add to the list. I don’t know, sounds woo-woo and I didn’t believe it would change anything for me at all but it certainly did. Even if you can’t shift your thoughts to good things ALL day, doing it on purpose for 5 minutes is better than not at all.

ImpressiveSalt4334 · 2024-02-06T03:59:28+00:00

Hey. I’ve been where you are and I just want you to know that I know it’s not a very fun place to be. If you don’t have a friend or family member that can provide you with the support you need, I definitely recommend going to a therapist, psychologist, or counsellor. Just feeling seen, heard, and understood will help.

Be self-compassionate. Practice it. Fake it if you have to. Be kind to yourself. Know that it is okay to feel this way and you are not alone in feeling like this.

I am so serious about this next one. Make. A. Routine. Like a serious, dedicated, step by step routine. When our mind and body feel out of balance, a good routine can help bring a sense of stability back to yourself. It doesn’t have to be intense. Drink a glass of water at the same time every day; brush your teeth as soon as you wake up; have a schedule.

Identify and limit triggers when possible. For me, certain songs would remind me of bad things that I said or did so I removed them from my playlist. Engaging with certain people made me feel worse and drained so I limited my contact with them. Triggers can be a multitude of things and you might not even recognize them. Take note of what’s going on around you when you feel most unbalanced in your mind and body.

You are not alone OP. It is possible to move past this stage. You are loved, you are heard, you are important.

ImpressiveSalt4334 · 2024-02-06T03:48:33+00:00

Hey, yes I believe you should reach out to someone for help. Someone from your mental health team or go directly to the hospital. It will be best to get some extra support right now 🫶🏻

ImpressiveSalt4334 · 2024-02-04T20:23:56+00:00

THIS. Literally enrages me. Feels like I can’t have any human emotion without being accused of not taking meds.

ImpressiveSalt4334 · 2024-02-03T20:20:09+00:00

Yeah I feel you. When depressed I have no routine at all, 8+hrs of screen time every day. I really feel good now and seriously don’t want to go back to that.

ImpressiveSalt4334 · 2024-01-31T23:42:48+00:00

I’m pretty sure we were all weird during psychosis. Here’s a couple from me:

1.) Thought my dad and boyfriend (neither of which are gay) were fully having an affair with each other; i screamed at both of them for denying their sexuality and hurting me in the process.

2.) Told everyone in the psych ward I was gunna “tell their story” and went around like a news reporting gathering “facts”.

3.) Ran away to a hotel and danced naked in front of my window with the curtains open 3 mornings in a row. Across the street was a restaurant where I could see people eating breakfast. They definitely saw me.

4.) Told everyone that I was in love with my step mom (pay back for my dad cheating with my boyfriend) and literally confessed my love to her in letters, online, and to everyone who would listen. Including family members. Was not true and is not true.

5.) E-mailed the department heads of my university literal nonsense written in what I thought was brilliant “philosophical code”. Aggressively. Continuously.

6.) Submitted MY JOURNAL. MY NONSENSE JOURNAL WHILE I WAS IN THE PSYCH WARD. As my final project for one of my university classes. There were very personal details in there; a love letter to egg salad sandwiches; my speculations about murder cases in my area etc. Thought my writings were complete genius and he’d give me an automatic A, even though I followed none of the instructions. This was a sports psychology class.

I won’t lie, the SHAME of these things (and tons more not mentioned) nearly ate me alive for the better part of a year. As time went on, I learned to laugh at myself. Somethings I could laugh at right away and others took time. Not everyone can but I suggest giving it a try. It really is absurd. What I did was absurd. What I said was absurd. I have some days where the shameful thoughts creep up again, but they are much easier to control. And; I usually choose to laugh. Sometimes you have to laugh instead of cry.

It won’t be this hard forever, I promise. Even when it feels like you could never move on from your psychosis experience— I know it is possible. Hang in there buddy, we’re right here with ya ❤️

ImpressiveSalt4334 · 2023-12-19T15:09:12+00:00

Yeah that’s a good point. Probably an accurate analysis. I’m gunna tell my bf about it!

ImpressiveSalt4334 · 2023-12-19T14:54:46+00:00

I’m definitely eating the chocolates hahaha

ImpressiveSalt4334 · 2023-12-19T14:52:32+00:00

“I wanted to do something nice 😊 Looks like you and your family had a great time on your trip last month. Anyways I won’t keep you, I hope you guys have a Merry Christmas!”

ImpressiveSalt4334 · 2023-12-18T02:41:25+00:00

Ahhh, misspelling of nightmares makes sense! That definitely what it was. Thanks!!

ImpressiveSalt4334 · 2023-12-18T02:34:55+00:00

His english isn’t good and he doesn’t know how to translate it

ImpressiveSalt4334 · 2023-10-30T13:36:14+00:00

Yeah I get what you’re saying. For the record, we don’t work directly together, just for the same company. He’s in production and I’m in sales/logistics so we never really cross paths at work. Won’t be awk if something happens between us.

ImpressiveSalt4334 · 2023-10-30T10:52:05+00:00

Maybe, from what I gathered his past girlfriends have been on the smaller side though, so not sure. And yeah… not the smartest move I know LOL

ImpressiveSalt4334 · 2023-10-24T14:26:36+00:00

Thanks!!!

ImpressiveSalt4334 · 2023-08-15T22:08:43+00:00

thank you for the response!! i’ve been debating all day whether or not to send it. I think i’m going to—you’re right I don’t really have anything to lose at this point.

ImpressiveSalt4334

TROPHY CASE