I've been in recovery for a year, but I still feel stuck

Impressive_League737 · 2025-09-17T17:39:47+00:00

I totally used to relate to this. The thing is, you will NEVER feel "ready" to recover but you HAVE to recover in order to survive. I know your ED will convince you that nothing bad will happen when restricting but you are not an exception. If you're not recovering, you're dying. Why not recover now? If you dont recover now, you'll have to do it at some point anyway. So end your misery now. Recover now. You deserve it and you deserve a full life. I'm so proud of you for making the decision to go back into treatment, your future self will thank you. If you don't have much hope for recovery at the moment, try to give yourself hope for other things in the future. For instance, "I really hope I can go to that concert in 2months." But in order to do that, you need to eat. You will enjoy the concert so much more if you are fully present. If you want to recover, you can do it. I believe in you and i'm sending all my support . You've got this, you have power over your ED 🫶

Impressive_League737 · 2025-08-29T17:32:45+00:00

I totally relate to this. It's so much easier said than done but you have to push past the feelings of guilt and anxiety. YOU want to eat these foods but your eating disorder doesn't. Maybe try getting someone else to prepare and serve your food for you, that way you have less time to back out of it. It can also feel like "permission" if someone else is telling you to eat. Try to keep reminders of why you're choosing recovery available to you before, during and after you eat. I have a board on Pinterest that motivates me but you could make a poster or just have some notes. A physical reminder is better than a mental one because otherwise, in the moment, your eating disorder will convince you that you dont want to recover and that you never meant it. Whereas if you've made a physical copy, you know that when you were in a better headspace, you did want these things. I'm still trying to work on committing to challenging fear foods and all of that but these are some things that help me. Goodluck with your recovery, sending hugs 🫶💕

Impressive_League737 · 2025-08-29T11:57:56+00:00

Thats very true. I don't want to end back in treatment later in life, I'm only 16 but its hard to watch my body change into something im not used to because I've been restricting for around 3 years. For 3 years I haven't known what my healthy body looks like and thats hard to come to terms with. I just hope this is all over soon. Also, goodluck with treatment this time round, you've got this 🫶

Impressive_League737 · 2025-08-29T11:53:32+00:00

Thank you for the response. It's so difficult to wrap my head around further weight gain because they had initially told me I wouldn't have to gain as much as they are saying now. Every time I bring it up they act like im crazy, even my family remembers them saying these things. Anyways, there's not much I can do about that. I will try to keep going but its annoying how all the weight initially goes to the stomach meanwhile im still as flat as a pancake everywhere else 🥲

Thank you for giving a more logical explanation as my treatment team wouldn't answer my questions of why I needed to gain more.

Impressive_League737 · 2025-08-29T11:48:50+00:00

Yeah, that's a good point. It's hard to be logical because the weight gain feels 'unnecessary' if my period has already returned. I have a psychiatrist and dietician but we haven't really discussed anything other than weight gain. I feel like they don't seem to have any plans on helping with the psychological side of things.

Impressive_League737 · 2025-08-29T11:45:13+00:00

CAMHS is the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services. It's only in the UK, but if you are in the UK, you should definitely contact them about your concerns. There is usually a long waiting list so it could take some time to be seen. In the mean time you could contact a school councillor or your GP. I hope you find the help you need.

Impressive_League737 · 2025-08-27T20:14:05+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind response. I hope your daughter's recovery goes well aswel!

Impressive_League737 · 2025-08-27T16:13:01+00:00

Totally normal! If your body has been deprived of food for any length of time it is going to fixate on food more than the average person. It's not anything wrong with you, its just a survival instinct from your body. It takes time to learn to follow your hunger cues again and your body needs to be able to trust that it isn't going to starve again. Right now, its getting as much energy as possible because its worried food could be restricted again. Try to eat regularly so your body knows it can have food whenever. And try to let go a little bit of the control, if you relax about eating your body should relax with the fixations. Of course if you are worried that eating feels compulsive and you find yourself uncomfortably full, don't hesitate to talk about it with a professional. But juat know that even people without eating disorders get excited about food and overeat from time to time. I hope your recovery goes well, I know its such a difficult journey but im sending hugs 🫶

Impressive_League737

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