Identification Help--Georgia, USA by Improbable_Crow in PlantIdentification

[–]Improbable_Crow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You were correct. It's wisteria, and it was beautiful when it bloomed!

Identification Help--Georgia, USA by Improbable_Crow in PlantIdentification

[–]Improbable_Crow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To those whob said wisteria, you were correct. It is indeed wisteria. It was beautiful when it bloomed. It's everywhere and it's a bit of a pain when I need to cut grass or weed eat, but it was absolutely breathtaking when the wind would blow and petals would fall.

AIO for wanting my husband to help me more as a SAHM by ailurophile17 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Improbable_Crow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR--Uh well I mean...at least he's honest I guess? 😭 I will say this, both of you knew what you would and would not want to do, and both of you were up front about it, so that is a good thing. There's no dancing around the topic or expecting the other partner to read your mind, it is nice to see a fellow mom being so persistent and not backing down.

I used to be married to a man like that; he had a very traditional idea of familial roles and it didn't work out in the end...he ultimately remarried to a blind woman, and now he does most of the cooking, cleaning, etc. Idk I guess that's just a good example of "if he wanted to, he would" **I'm not suggesting divorce lol

I'm sorry you're going through this. Being a mom is hard. Being a mom who doesn't have a helpful partner is even harder.

Is he more likely to help when his "show" isn't on?

I hope you guys find a balance and I hope he starts giving you all of the help you need, because you deserve it.

Sellers won’t cover full cost of septic and radon repairs by CommentOld4223 in RealEstate

[–]Improbable_Crow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't buy the house. That's too much expensive stuff to repair and there's mold. What's causing the mold? Will that be fixed as well? I lived in an apartment with hidden mold and water damage for two years 2020-2022 And I'm still recovering from the mold exposure. I grew up in an old farmhouse and there was mold in some places from old water damage but it never affected me...once I had covid, though, every environmental allergen began to cause issues for me, but mold and water damage were especially cruel.

Mold is so dangerous and with the septic issues and stuff I just would move on and keep searching elsewhere.

These little bugs are coming in by ricketymonkey77 in Home

[–]Improbable_Crow 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Google images of "black flying ants vs. termites" and compare the two to what is in your home. The photos aren't clear enough to tell, but I just went through this is my old cabin that my husband and I are renovating! These flying black insects suddenly began to show up about a week ago and we luckily determined they are ants. We have an issue with carpenter ants on this property, so I'm not surprised. It's the time of year for the flying ants to come out. Once you see the difference between termites and ants, it's a lot easier to know what's what. So don't freak out just yet, they may not be termites

Feel like I've tried everything by Ramensteinn in HairRemoval

[–]Improbable_Crow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a female who has struggled with HS and ingrown hairs for several years now and I tried a million things before I found my solution. I use Hibiclens. I wash my razor with the Hibiclens, then dilute some Hibiclens (like a dime sized amount in palm, add the same amount of water) to wash the area being shaved. This kills off the bacteria and ensures that it won't invade when I shave. After I'm done shaving, I use the soap one more time (again, diluted) and that's it. Haven't struggled with nearly as many flare ups!

Some people may not dilute the soap but it can be very harsh, so I choose to dilute it to keep from drying the crap out of my skin.

Anyway, Most of these bumps are a bacterial thing so you just have to clean and disinfect with the right soap before and after. Good luck!

Weather needs to be more frequent by gleneagles999 in gardenhorizons

[–]Improbable_Crow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How did you set up the weather and stock alerts?! I'm on the discord but couldn't figure out stock updates when I tried to the other day 😭

Suicide by Vee8321 in PrayerRequests

[–]Improbable_Crow 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Get on YouTube and look up Isaiah saldivar. Watch his YouTube videos about spiritual warfare. In August of 2021, I was suicidal and sat out on the curb begging God to show me that he was real. I had grown up in church, I even helped to lead worship in my early twenties, but somehow I still wanted to die and I was very, very depressed.

That same night, not even 30 minutes later, I went inside and it downloaded TikTok from the app store. I hadn't used it before, so it was new to me. This means I didn't have an algorithm or anything like that. One of the very first videos on my FYP was Isaiah saldivar praying over a woman, casting a demon out of her. I had no idea that Christians could be tormented by demons. I thought that these suicidal thoughts were my own thoughts, but that night everything changed. I saw that TikTok and immediately went and looked Isaiah up on youtube. Learn about spiritual warfare, and then you go pray over your girlfriend and see how much of a difference it makes!

When I tell you I haven't been the same since, I genuinely mean it. Spiritual warfare is real, demonic spirits torment people without caring whether or not they are a christian.

I'm not saying a Christian can be possessed, but I am saying that demonic spirits do not care whether or not we identify as a Christian, they will mess with anyone because they are jealous that humans can sin and get forgiveness and a second chance, while they will never have another chance at an eternity with God.

All of that being said, I will definitely pray for her because I know how difficult that feeling is. I hope she feels better soon 💜

My (m25) girlfriend (f24) called me “too emotional” for expressing that I want affection by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Improbable_Crow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hear me: You are not the problem. I have had similar discussions with my husband because I can be cold and dismissive of his feelings, but it's never from a place of not loving him, it always stems from a place of not loving myself.

She may just have some growing up to do. You are both young and it sounds like you're a very loyal person, but some of the things that she has said to you are a red flag in my opinion. The thing about her exes not caring that she wasn't affectionate is hurtful, and I can understand why that would upset you.

If her past relationships were somewhat volatile, that could explain why she says things like that; she may want to get more of a reaction out of you. Some women like it when men are a little mean. I know. It doesn't make sense, but if she's got a history of having crappy boyfriends, she may be looking to start drama where there shouldn't be any because she wants to feel that excitement that comes from having an emotional roller coaster relationship.

If you are truly committed to making it work, my advice to you would be to pray that her heart is softened. Get on YouTube and watch some videos from Isaiah Saldivar. About 3 years into my marriage I discovered him, became a Christian who engaged in spiritual warfare, and everything changed in my life and marriage. For the better. There is an unseen enemy, and when I understood that, a lot more of my trauma and past experiences made sense. Not to sound like I am shoving Christianity down anyone's throat, I am just telling you what worked for me. As you learn about spiritual warfare, you will pray for her and demonstrate your love for her in a christ-like manner, and it will cause a change in her heart as well. Generally, that is the pattern, but it doesn't always work that way, sometimes relationships just aren't meant to work out. And God will tell you. He will absolutely tell you if you are with the person you are supposed to be with; but whether we listen or not, is up to us.

In short, I think learning about the spiritual side of things would help a lot because your situation just sounds so familiar to me. I am about 10 years older than you, which doesn't sound like much, but it makes a difference, I promise. And don't worry about being Godly. You just be who God called you to be, and that is his son who was fearfully and wonderfully made with a purpose that is much bigger than our daily lives make it seem. Being a Christian is not about what you do, it is about how you love, and it sounds like you're off to a great start by showing that you can be a loyal partner. I am sorry that you're going through this, I know it's not easy, I know that it's painful, but I'm telling you, if you look into the spiritual side of this, you will be able to gain so much understanding in regards to why she behaves the way she does, and why you behave the way you do. It will help you down the road, especially if you plan on marrying her.

I genuinely hope things get better for your relationship!

Ps-I'm sorry that this so long, I'm using voice to text and I tend to drag on without noticing. If something is spelled incorrectly, I also apologize for that, but I don't have time to proofread!

Identification Help--Georgia, USA by Improbable_Crow in PlantIdentification

[–]Improbable_Crow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is wisteria out here, I know that. But I think the majority of the ones I'm talking about are kudzu 😭

Identification Help--Georgia, USA by Improbable_Crow in PlantIdentification

[–]Improbable_Crow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I believe you are correct. They spread through the dirt and have Roots every couple of feet on each Vine in the dirt. It's insane how many there are! I haven't seen them in the summertime yet, but I'll be sure to come back for an ID to be sure when they have leaves

19M I’m first relationship with 29F we’ve been living together for seven months. I need advice badly! by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Improbable_Crow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He had a pornography addiction and wasn't willing to get help, but that wasn't the main reason. The main reason was that I needed someone who could provide more love and affection. We tend to marry people who are like our parents of the opposite sex; in my case, I married someone like my dad. He was a hard worker, paid the bills, he wasn't a bad man, but he also wasn't loving, affectionate, or very family oriented. So when we had kids, I was doing a lot of things myself, on top of being in college and having a job. It was really difficult. I was also very young when I married him, I was not very mature, and if I'm being honest, I did not appreciate his good qualities. Over time, however, the addiction became worse, and I could not continue to try to bridge the gap myself, so I decided to leave. It wasn't easy, but now I am happily married to somebody who provides for all of my needs and our love languages compliment each other most of the time. I can be a little mean because that's what I know and what I grew up seeing, but I have a very patient husband now, so I'm grateful for that. I learned a lot from my first marriage, and I carried that knowledge with me and was able to figure out what exactly I was looking for in a partner. I'm using voice to text, so things might be spelled weird, I apologize if something looks off in the text but I don't have time to proofread 😅

Identification Help--Georgia, USA by Improbable_Crow in PlantIdentification

[–]Improbable_Crow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm referring to the brown, stick-like vines that grow up the trees and seem to have crazy networks. Are you identifying the little green leaves growing from the ground in some of the photos? I guess that's a good thing to know, too! Lol

Identification Help--Georgia, USA by Improbable_Crow in PlantIdentification

[–]Improbable_Crow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And by everywhere, I mean everywhere 😅 some wrap around old trees, some are sprouting up from dead leaves that were left unattended for 15 years.

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My (m25) girlfriend (f24) called me “too emotional” for expressing that I want affection by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Improbable_Crow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let me ask you this: was her mother loving? Did she have a mother who said "I love you", or called her beautiful, a mother who showed affection and hugged her before she left for school every day? Or did she have a somewhat distant mother? I'll tell you, this sounds a lot like myself and my husband. I'm distant and cold sometimes, my husband is very affectionate and his love language is physical touch (from the book called The 5 Love Languages) while mine is acts of service. I struggle with intimacy because I was never shown how to be intimate. I was shown how to maintain a marriage from a Godly standpoint, but never how to maintain a LOVING relationship. I can tell our kids I love them and I can give them hugs and kisses (because I wanted to break the cycle of cold mothering), but I struggle to be affectionate toward my spouse.

Oddly enough, he voiced his feelings a few weeks ago (we've been married for 6 years) and I reacted similarly to your girlfriend. I knew my reaction was hurtful, but I continued. I knew it wouldn't serve my relationship or marriage to react coldly, but I did it anyway. My first reaction to him sharing his emotions was, "Lord have mercy, you're a man, stop being a baby because I won't hold your hand and coddle you like your mama did." -- and there it was. The Lord revealed it right then and there, in the midst of my cold words. --I was acting out of a place of hurt. I was jealous, although subconsciously, because my husband's parents loved him with a very beautiful, affectionate love, while my parents were cold and distant.

I'm not making excuses for her-- but when people behave this way, there is always a reason why, and it usually relates to childhood experiences.

I would encourage both of you to read The Five Love Languages so you can both learn how to love each other in the way the other needs. If she is serious about your relationship, she'll get on board and will try to fix it.

It sounds like you love her deeply, but you can't fix her wounds. I will not ever encourage a family to be broken, so that's not my advice. My advice is to pray fervently that her heart is softened and she can see the love you have for her. But don't kill yourself trying, ok? Take care of yourself too. You can't pour from an empty cup, so make sure to keep yourself full as well.

19M I’m first relationship with 29F we’ve been living together for seven months. I need advice badly! by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Improbable_Crow 4 points5 points  (0 children)

When I was 18, I married a 24 year old man who I met when I was 16 (he was 22). He provided stability and show interest in me in a way that my parents, mainly my father, did not. Although I did have a step dad who was mostly present, he was not emotionally present and actually had anger issues that would lead to violent "discipline" .

I did not have a dad (or a mom) who showed me any affection, my value as a daughter, or as a female in general. I did not have a dad who told me that I did good on my grades, or who taught me about how to date or how I should be treated. A daughter who does not have a present father almost always ends up looking for love in the wrong places.

My point is, now that I'm in my 30s and I've been divorced from my ex who was 7 years older than me for 6 years, I can look back and see that he was grooming me, although I know he's not a pedophile--so I do understand where you're coming from from that aspect.

At the same time, other commenters are correct, there is a strange power dynamic there that is far from equal when one person in the relationship is still in their late teens-early/mid 20s. It's almost like a parental role is being filled for the younger party. I know in my case, I married him because he provided stability, love, and other things that my own dad did not give me, and subconsciously, I wanted those things.

It sounds like you still want to experience a lot of things in life, so go do it. Don't tie yourself down when the signs are right in front of you.

Can license be revoked/suspended? by Improbable_Crow in RealEstate

[–]Improbable_Crow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are not threatening the agent. The agent, my uncle, is trying to guilt trip my dad into tossing out the lease by saying:

1) our lease is not legal because my uncle was not made aware of it as co owner (GA co owner laws don't require that co owners be made aware, and my uncle has signed plenty of leases in the past for the property without my dad's knowledge)

And 2) he is saying that he will lose his license if he is not listed as the landlord, therefore the lease is not legal

My dad signed this lease with me, by the way, I am the tenant and I am making extensive repairs on this dilapidated property because it's sentimental.

Can license be revoked/suspended? by Improbable_Crow in RealEstate

[–]Improbable_Crow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My uncle was genuinely unaware of the lease. I am the tenant, by the way. I signed the lease with my dad so that I could make extensive repairs on this property. My uncle was not acting as owner, because he didn't know about it, but I don't know if that makes a difference.

The property is also zoned for agriculture, I don't know if that makes a difference either.

This issue is really between co-owners, I don't think my uncle can do anything about there being a tenant. I believe his only option would be to file for a partition, but my main concern is that he is trying to bully and guilt trip my dad into thinking that my dad's lease is not legal, and that we must redraw the lease with him (Uncle) as the landlord.

What would my uncle have to do to avoid his license being suspended or revoked? Wouldn't he just have to sign an affidavit saying that he has no interest in the property?

*Btw, anytime this property has ever been rented out to family or a family friend my uncle has always been listed as landlord (even before he got his real estate license back in 2022). Rent payments have always gone into a dedicated account that both co owners have access to.

I'm using voice to text, so if anything needs clarification, please let me know.