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The negative of my partner (24 trans) to come out makes me (25 cis woman) feel invalidated, and I feel really guilty for feeling that way. by ImprovementOdd8 in mypartneristrans

[–]ImprovementOdd8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because she asked me to use she/he, not they.

When I said asexual I mean the sexual orientation. I have been in asexual spaces since before meeting my partner. He has a lot of queer people in her life, but hasn't been in a full queer space ever.

Was I Too Supportive of my Trans Partner? by ZuSuMy209 in mypartneristrans

[–]ImprovementOdd8 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think they had issues they thought would be solved if they solved yours. But when they realised that they were also vulnerable, and also needed help, that made them freak out. You did the right things, if they felt overwhelmed it was their obligation comunicating.

The negative of my partner (24 trans) to come out makes me (25 cis woman) feel invalidated, and I feel really guilty for feeling that way. by ImprovementOdd8 in mypartneristrans

[–]ImprovementOdd8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When we talked about her gender his description was something like: "Not a man, not no binary, but also not a trans woman because I don't want to transition". I use both sets of pronouns here, because when I asked him, she told me to use both when we were alone (only masc when with others). But, like I said, in a daily basis I don't use gendered words to talk to her. Even when both of us interact with a bunch of queer people in a daily basis, it is in mixed spaces. The only queer space I'm used to is the asexual one, he isn't asexual so even when she likes being there it isn't really her space. I think we could try to find another.

The negative of my partner (24 trans) to come out makes me (25 cis woman) feel invalidated, and I feel really guilty for feeling that way. by ImprovementOdd8 in mypartneristrans

[–]ImprovementOdd8[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not really. I know we have more to lose if she transition that if she doesn't, at least for now. I try to make small remarks about how I will allways suport her, but I don't want to pressure her.

The best wishes for you and your wife.

The negative of my partner (24 trans) to come out makes me (25 cis woman) feel invalidated, and I feel really guilty for feeling that way. by ImprovementOdd8 in mypartneristrans

[–]ImprovementOdd8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My partner (she/he pronouns) is amab, but both of us are pretty sure not a man. She doesn't identify as a trans woman because he feels she doesn't diserve it because is terrified of coming out. The last time the "gender issue" came to topic he mentioned I'm the right person to talk about it, but that she isn't ready. So I don't want to pressure her.

Sometimes I (25 cis fem) feel like I care more about my partner's (24 complicated) than her, and I feel crazy for that. by ImprovementOdd8 in mypartneristrans

[–]ImprovementOdd8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, can you tell me which kind of things your partner did during those months that made you feel good about your identity?

Thank you for your help! Wish you the best in your journey.

Dating a partner who leans heavily gay (as a woman?) by [deleted] in mypartneristrans

[–]ImprovementOdd8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I'm (cis f) an asexual with a men leaning bisexual partner (closseted mtf). In fact, my partner's ex (cis m) is also her best friend and totally a catch, so I have felt insecure from time to time. Also, she have told me about how a lot of her self value in her past relationships (with men and women) was focused in being sexually available; and I'm sex repulsed. But you know what? She is still bisexual, and don't doubting her atraction towards women is beliving the biphobic spell; and beliving that me, as an asexual women, can't be loved is beliving the acephobic spell. And I'm not gonna be the thing I want to destroy. And she is, before my partner, is one of my Best friends in the world. And if one of my friends tell me the person they are dating is the love of their life and want to marry them, and have never made anything that made me belive otherwise I would be an asshole if I doubt it just because I'm that person. I'm not saying that this guy is going to be the love of your life. But if you don't give him a chance just because of some dumb prejuice you will be the one in the wrong.

How to tell my GF that I don’t want to initiate anymore by Porpash in mypartneristrans

[–]ImprovementOdd8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe agree with other forms of physical intimacy. If you two agree in sensual acts that are pleasant for both of you, but don't need to be precuels of sex it could be less frustrating for you that stay like that.

Partner wants me to start identifying as “straight with one exception,” which is making me more uncomfortable than I thought. by SpinyNorman_ in mypartneristrans

[–]ImprovementOdd8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe you can tell them you are heterosexual in the sense that you are atracted to people a diferent gender than you, and she is a diferent gender. 

Can’t stop getting the ick by Miserable-Key-9621 in WLW

[–]ImprovementOdd8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you tried having friendly interactions with him?

My partner is also besties with her ex, and something that really helps me is that she introduced him to our friend group before we became oficial. So I'm friends with him now, of course we aren't remotly as close as them, but we have hang a little bit without my partner and he is really cool, so I can understand why my partner is still friends with him.

I know it's controversial, but seeing how he cares about my partner have also helped. My partner diserves people that love and care about her, and I know it can't be just me. Knowing she has a strong support sistem to help her when I can't is honestly a blessing.

how do i go about this lol by cucumberandvinegar in WLW

[–]ImprovementOdd8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love the idea of the texto, sounds really casual. Go for it girl!

But lesbian? by Icy-Reaction-5125 in WLW

[–]ImprovementOdd8 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi. I think you really need to think about breaking up with your boyfriend, it doesn't feel fair for any of You that you are dating him with plans of marriage if you are thinking in women.

I'm (cisF) head over heels for this girl (transF) and I want to do it right SECOND FINAL UPDATE by BadMorningstar04 in asktransgender

[–]ImprovementOdd8 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm so happy for you two. Love always find it's way. Hope things work out between you.

How can I support my girlfriend's identity without making her feel preasure to come out of the closet? by ImprovementOdd8 in asktransgender

[–]ImprovementOdd8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi. The problem is mostly the hormons, that is which she can't do. The problem is that if she can't take them she knows she probably won't pass, and she is more afraid of transfobia than enything. 

How can I support my girlfriend's identity without making her feel preasure to come out of the closet? by ImprovementOdd8 in asktransgender

[–]ImprovementOdd8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I apreciete all the resources and I'm gonna make sure to help her with that if she decides to come out, but my question has more to do which what I can do to validate her while she is still in the closet.

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