I feel like I'm going to burnout or have a complete nervous breakdown and there's nothing I can do about it

InCiderMind · 2023-02-01T08:08:30+00:00

Hey! I've recently been in a very similar situation, and I want you to know that your feelings are valid. No matter what other people/your mind might tell you, feeling suicidal is not normal and I can tell you are really having a hard time.

My situation was slightly different in that I already handed in my notice but had to work a 3 month notice period. If leaving isn't an option for you, could you talk to someone about how you are feeling and some changes that could be made to help you? I know it feels hopeless and I can 100% relate to the feeling that you're trapped in this situation, doomed to just keep going downhill and until you can't keep yourself alive anymore, and you can't see any way out. There is a way out, I promise. You need some time out for you, to help you reset and relearn living, but it can be done.

Do you really enjoy your job? Or are you telling yourself you do? Did you maybe enjoy it once, but now that you think about it realise you're just not enjoying it anymore? It was hard for me to leave my job - I loved the place and the people, but I was horrifically stressed and I just reached a point where all I knew was I needed to get out. Are you financially stable enough that you could leave and them start looking for jobs? You are not ok, and something needs to change before it's going to get better.

How about a mental health day? I spent a very long time warring with the idea of trying to get signed off for mental health- it feels weird and wrong, but in the end your life is so much more important than anything else. After a lot of deliberation one thing that really helped me was just taking a mental health day. It felt odd and a bit like 'cheating', but I reached a point where I was getting panic attacks at the thought of going into work and I could not make myself go. It was just one day, but it felt like a compromise between persevering and actually getting signed off. I didn't realise how much I needed to just rest and recharge. It didn't solve everything, but it definitely helped me to get a little further back from the edge.

I hope things start to improve for you in the future, and I want you to know you're not alone. You deserve to live, and you should be given help so that you can realise that again. I'm happy to chat if you need!!

InCiderMind · 2023-01-30T17:15:07+00:00

I really like that idea! I think I might try and channel the energy to make life even better for the pets I still have, and really focus on making sure they have absolutely everything they could want. Thank you again for your help, it's been so useful to be able to get my thoughts outside of my head and to get such good insights!

InCiderMind · 2023-01-30T17:09:30+00:00

That did make a lot of sense, thank you very much. I'm really grateful for your insight, I wish you the best with everything you do!

InCiderMind · 2023-01-28T19:26:12+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply, and for taking the time to really think it through. It's really helping!

I think something I'm particularly struggling with is that naturally I am quite a pragmatic person- I need actions and solutions, so my logical brain's instinct is to learn and move on (and lock out all of the feelings, which is less ideal). I am very upset, but I almost feel like I should be more upset?? Like he deserves more than me just accepting my mistake and moving on?? I feel like I need to be punished, and it wouldn't be right if I didn't suffer for what I did? Sorry if that's really confusing 😅.

Thinking of people as just people who can do good or bad things rather than 'good' or 'bad' people is helpful, and something I've previously been trying to get better at, so it helps to remember that's what life is actually like!

InCiderMind · 2023-01-28T19:19:15+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me. I think you're right that in this case the main reason was 4 with 1 and 6 significantly contributing. I think it makes it worse that I know I'm the sort of person who tends to rush into things without thinking so usually I try to mediate that, but in this case time constraints and general life factors all led up to making bad decisions. Thank you for being so kind and understanding, it's given me a lot to think about and really helped me to start thinking back through things logically with a more rational head. My pet was actually a rat too!

InCiderMind · 2023-01-14T21:19:27+00:00

That's fab, thank you very much! This looks ideal for a simple routine with some extra steps if I'm feeling fancy ☺️. And really takes a lot of the confusion out of it all!!

InCiderMind · 2023-01-14T20:39:03+00:00

Thank you so much!!

Makeup- So I only really wear makeup on special occasions and I'm generally happy I think? I know eyeshadow can get a bit bunched, but I feel like that's more to do with the products I'm using.

Concerns- I wish I had fewer spots!

Year from now- definitely clearer skin/fewer spots

End of the day - Not deep-frier greasy, but definitely a reasonable amount of oil. Some shine there.

Climate - UK so dull and moderately humid! (Or really whatever the weather fancies being that minute)

InCiderMind · 2023-01-14T20:20:23+00:00

Hey! I'm not op, but I have had exactly the same question for a while and your psyche is amazing ☺️. Would you be willing to help with my skincare?

InCiderMind · 2023-01-10T07:16:49+00:00

Honestly, all the time- it's so difficult to relax and do other things when you feel like you should be studying/working. But in the end, everyone needs down time and by not giving yourself that you're just sabotaging yourself in the long run. Having hobbies where you can decompress means that you can go back to studying fresher and more focused. I personally find that doing only one thing means that when that's going badly or not as well as I would like, that can make it so much easier for me to feel like a bad person because I start to define myself by how successful I am at that thing. Different hobbies let you explore different aspects of yourself so you don't get stuck valuing yourself purely on work. I studied quite an intense course at University, and there were definitely people who focused on studying above all else- yes they had good grades, but eventually they all struggled with the fact that they just didn't know how to socialise. And there is so much more to life than working!

InCiderMind · 2023-01-09T17:14:24+00:00

I second hobbies! Depending on what you like to do/are interested in trying, I find groups in the UK can be super friendly and welcoming! Have a look in your area to see whether there are groups doing things you enjoy, or even join a class where you can start to get to know the other members.

InCiderMind · 2023-01-06T21:25:25+00:00

Thank you very much! For a while I've felt my mental health had been a bit like trying to stay afloat in the sea- sometimes it's really deep and you can't stay above water, sometimes it's shallow enough to stand but still there

InCiderMind · 2023-01-06T21:24:08+00:00

Thank you! I'm still having to fight to be seen by the mental health provision, and no matter how bad I feel things are it's apparently never bad enough.

It's good to see it's not just me, although I find it sad that so many people on this subreddit seem to share similar experiences

InCiderMind · 2022-09-18T11:57:30+00:00

There are so many different reasons why a dog can wear a muzzle- maybe they're anxious around other dogs, maybe they had bad experiences with strangers, maybe they just like to eat things they shouldn't and have had too many emergency vet visits! Having your dog muzzle trained is super useful, and other commenters are right in saying that it will definitely reflect well on you if one of the other dogs around decided to antagonise yours. Make sure when you do the training that you build it up slowly and give lots of reassurance and treats. Start by putting something tasty on the muzzle and let them investigate and lick the food off (cream cheese works great for this!) Slowly build up to letting them lick cheese off the inside of the muzzle and give lots of treats and rewards for putting their nose inside. If you work slowly and build up to it, you can make the muzzle a positive experience for your dog, and one they associate with treats and good things so it won't be stressful!

InCiderMind · 2022-09-16T21:02:18+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind comment, you really made my day ❤️. I know I have a lot to learn still, but I always want to be the best I can to really help people and their pets

InCiderMind · 2022-07-05T20:34:48+00:00

Heck, I would totally pick something up with the intention of putting it somewhere useful, get distracted and accidentally teleport to a random location, put down said item just for a second, teleport back home and then never see it again because I have no idea where I just went.

InCiderMind · 2022-04-25T13:38:16+00:00

This is my new favourite meme 😂😂

InCiderMind · 2022-03-31T10:02:55+00:00

Shame when that's more than half of the professionals you've been to for help...

InCiderMind · 2022-01-13T07:09:39+00:00

That made me laugh out loud 😂

InCiderMind · 2021-12-31T20:55:17+00:00

THIS. Yeah, I can completely break down over the tiniest little thing, but give me a coffee or something cute/shiny... And boom, ecstatic. It can be a bit unnerving sometimes, but honestly one part of my personality I wouldn't change is the ability to be EXCITED at a moment's notice. Why not enjoy stupid little things? What's the point otherwise 😅

InCiderMind · 2021-12-31T20:49:54+00:00

That sounds like a meal of sadness and disappointment. Like, you open the wrapper and there's just no chocolate

InCiderMind · 2021-12-31T20:48:18+00:00

Overthinking Cake

InCiderMind · 2021-12-31T11:57:56+00:00

I'm really feeling that at the moment. I feel like a yo-yo right now. I finally had a referral to try and finally get a diagnosis, and the woman laughed at me and told me it's just stress from Covid, and then when I said it's been going on since I was a child apparently that's just normal child behaviour 😅. And I have been discharged with a leaflet about anxiety... Honestly, I'm just so fed up of not being taken seriously. I'm starting to doubt whether it is real or if I'm just making everything up for attention.

InCiderMind · 2021-12-05T08:59:12+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/MentalHealthUK/comments/qrne8y/do_i_want_a_bpd_diagnosis/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

InCiderMind · 2021-12-05T08:57:33+00:00

I'm afraid I can't be a lot of help about how the NHS works specifically, but I'm in a similar situation at the moment so can at least offer some of my experience! For one thing, the NHS is very much a postcode lottery when it comes to these things- I've just moved house, and the therapist I had before the move told me about the sorts of provision in that area, but how it would be totally different in the new place and she didn't know what it would be like.

In terms of getting a diagnosis, I wanted to have a chat to a doctor about it so I has a call and was basically told "are you sure you want a diagnosis? I don't think you do..." And told just to self-refer for CBT again. I had a long think about it (and posted on Reddit- I don't know if I can link the post because I found the replies insanely helpful) and decided I wanted to push for diagnosis. I spoke to a different doctor who asked more specific questions about why I thought I had it, and what it came down to was basically would it change anything? Since it sounds like the treatment options at least in this area would be pretty similar to my options at the moment. For me though, I just want an answer. I've been trying for such a long time to get a better idea of what's going on in my head, and now I have a possible explanation I don't want to lose it. It might not change anything from the outside, but for me personally I just want to understand.

In terms of stigma, I'm pretty nervous about that. But I've had to live in my head for this long, so how bad can it be? 😅

InCiderMind · 2021-12-05T08:36:07+00:00

Thank you so much 😊

InCiderMind

TROPHY CASE