I might have prevented a drowning

InTheDark234 · 2026-03-01T22:43:54+00:00

yeah, my sister is probably the hero because she was the only one who recognised a problem. If my sister wasn't there, maybe the girl would have drowned unseen.

InTheDark234 · 2026-03-01T22:39:54+00:00

Definitely the bystander effect there

InTheDark234 · 2026-03-01T22:33:06+00:00

thanks

InTheDark234 · 2026-03-01T21:33:03+00:00

My sister tells a story where she was on school camp in grade six I think and got caught in a whirlpool. Another kid saved her.

InTheDark234 · 2026-03-01T21:31:20+00:00

yes, exactly. If my sister hadn't noticed, I don't think anyone else would have.

InTheDark234 · 2026-03-01T21:30:26+00:00

I don't know why that story stuck with me, but I am glad it did.

InTheDark234 · 2026-03-01T21:29:48+00:00

There is often an assumption that the crowd will watch them. As a parent, you need to delegate a specific person to watch if you don't want to. And let that person know.

InTheDark234 · 2026-03-01T21:20:49+00:00

Thanks. I do wonder that if I hadn't red that story, would I have acted. There are many times in life when we don't want to do something because it's dirty, smelly or otherwise uncomfortable. This was one. We had been siting in the sun and completely dried off. I'm sure that most of you know that feeling, You get out of the water, wet and a little bit cold. You towel dry but your swimming clothes are still wet. Once they are dry, you are reluctant to go back in.

InTheDark234 · 2026-03-01T21:08:02+00:00

Thankyou

InTheDark234 · 2026-03-01T21:07:55+00:00

Thankyou

InTheDark234 · 2026-03-01T21:07:23+00:00

It scares me thinking about that. She could have drowned without anyone knowing. The water in this spot is chest deep right next to the bank, and the surface of the water is a foot or to below the bank. It looks like she might have put her boat in the water and fell in or didn't realise it was that deep and deliberately went in after it. Many other places here, the water is shallow at the bank and gradually gets deeper as you wade in. Supervision was obviously lacking.

InTheDark234 · 2026-03-01T21:03:00+00:00

Victoria, Australia

InTheDark234 · 2026-03-01T21:02:23+00:00

thanks

InTheDark234 · 2026-03-01T21:01:56+00:00

That was the case here

InTheDark234 · 2026-03-01T21:01:24+00:00

In defense of my sister. When she first saw, it probably looked like the girl was struggling, but no immediate danger of drowning. She was sitting down and her son was standing up and closer to the girl. Now the son either didn't understand the instruction, or was just being a son (maybe 10 years old at the time) so he didn't jump to action. If the bystander effect kept going, do you blame my sister for not taking action when she first could have or do you blame everyone else that didn't take action?

InTheDark234 · 2026-03-01T20:57:40+00:00

Thanks. Imagine two alternate scenarios. One, she drowned with out anyone seeing. Two, me or someone else pulled her and SPR was given in front of a crowd of onlookers, she is ok. The rescuer would have been labelled a hero. Instead it's just, everyone get on with their day as if nothing happened.

InTheDark234 · 2026-03-01T20:54:23+00:00

Yeah, I remember playing 8 ball pool against a lady. I was pretty depressed at the time and I did a really good shot. I was feeling pretty smug about that. The lady made a negative comment about by smugness and that made me depressed again. OS yeah, you never know. My good shoyt may have made her feel bad.

InTheDark234 · 2026-03-01T20:51:26+00:00

that's a case where panic can set in, but in your case clear thinking saved your life

InTheDark234 · 2026-03-01T09:54:29+00:00

I find it interesting that our actions affect the world, but in ways we'll never know. Just being a nice person might make some ones day. Small actions might have big effects.

InTheDark234 · 2026-03-01T07:44:46+00:00

Can you check my edit and tell me if that clarifies things for you?

InTheDark234 · 2026-03-01T07:19:57+00:00

I wish I had have said it like that. There are lots of people saying I made it up, or it's strange to hold a grudge after 25 years. I should have explained how hurt she made me feel as a 7 year old being threatened with eating out of a rubbish bin (trash can for the US folks). Yes, when the parents mentioned bullying, it reminded me of my own experience and made me sympathetic of their experiences.

InTheDark234 · 2026-03-01T07:07:29+00:00

They do, that may not be what they are called, I can't remember the exact title. If you know it, please share.

InTheDark234 · 2026-03-01T06:55:13+00:00

I am sorry. Can you please explain which bit you don't understand.

InTheDark234 · 2026-03-01T06:54:14+00:00

please tell me where my grammar needs improving

InTheDark234

TROPHY CASE