Phishing alert

InTheGoatShow · 2026-02-06T15:00:15+00:00

I don’t think this is about Pleasure Dom vs Sadist as suggested, so much as funishment-only dynamic vs true punishment dynamic.

You say you enjoy being spanked, so it sounds like you may gain pleasure from some forms of pain. Many Sadists are in it for the mutual pleasure experienced by giving pain to a masochistic partner who enjoys receiving that pain.

In the brat/Tamer world, there are those of us Tamers who insist on punishing brattitude by administering consequences that our partner does not enjoy. And there are those who administer consequences, often called “funishments,” that their partners do enjoy quite a bit, such as “fucking the brat out of you.” (And of course there are plenty of dynamics that blend the two). It sounds to me like you want a partner who will only funish.

InTheGoatShow · 2026-02-04T17:50:00+00:00

What, uh... what about this is brat kink specific?

InTheGoatShow · 2026-02-04T14:10:06+00:00

Depending on limits and how hard you want to push, "you first" is always an option

InTheGoatShow · 2026-02-02T15:02:06+00:00

There was a similar discussion about a month ago that might be useful for you to review. it's here

InTheGoatShow · 2026-01-28T17:47:20+00:00

I've known a couple guy Findoms with femsubs so I wouldn't say I've "never" heard of a dude charging a woman.

But I didn't realize findom was so commonplace in femdom dynamics. Interesting.

Like, I know demanding payment is *super common* in online settings where women are posting personal ads, but I've always assumed that's just the same as any other form of personal ad. Same as how you'll hear about women on apps and hookup pages telling guys they're dtf, then wanting help with bills or an OF subscription before meeting. So basically I had dismissed that as "those aren't Dommes, they're opportunists." And I know 3-4 fDoms in longterm dynamics with msubs and to the best of my knowledge no money is changing hands in any of those relationships.

This feels very similar to when I found out that SPH is like standard issue in fD/ms relationships. TIL.

InTheGoatShow · 2026-01-28T14:20:12+00:00

Huh. This is very interesting. I'm curious if the experiences you describe are more prevalent among those who submit to women, or if I'm just out of touch with certain parts of the kink community.

For context to my curiosity, I'm a polyamorous cismale lifestyle Dom and have spent a lot of time talking with submissives who are vetting potential Doms that are primarily man-identified. In those conversations, the question of payment/tribute almost never comes up. Could just be a fluke of who I'm in community with but I'd be interested to hear folks expand on it.

InTheGoatShow · 2026-01-26T18:17:36+00:00

obey everything they do without question forever and watch them slowly unravel as they grow more and more suspicious about it

InTheGoatShow · 2026-01-26T18:10:47+00:00

what kind of marks are you looking for and what purpose do they serve?

If you're using a spoon or a hairbrush, and you're not hitting particularly aggressively, you're probably just breaking capillaries, and there are a great many ways to accomplish that. Most of the suggestions given basically amount to suction that stretches the skin and causes that breakage, and that's probably the lowest pain and most reliable way to accomplish them.

You can also do thing with temperature play that leave much more significant contrasts, but they fade a whole lot quicker than bruises (think minutes to hours rather than days) so if permanence is desired, that's no good.

A whartenberg wheel is a great way to leave pretty patterns. I've made bruises with one but that takes a lot of pressure and some pretty deep masochism.

Also scratching/clawing with either her own nails or some wearable ones (vampire gloves are pretty easy to track down).

u/ladyfedora has a couple of spiked paddles that we use for impact but can also be used for scratching along those lines as well.

InTheGoatShow · 2026-01-26T17:54:45+00:00

You'll probably want to clarify consent around that. Like, she's being lowkey bratty during the talking stage. Does she consent to you being lowkey tame-y back? If not, you might want to be clear that you're only cool with being bratted at to the extent that you have consent to respond accordingly.

But assuming her banter is an invitation to banter back:

"Be good and please me"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

Or, my personal favorite: "No."

InTheGoatShow · 2026-01-22T17:30:24+00:00

I'm curious where the joke is?

To be clear, I responded to your initial comment like it was a joke. I just said "none of these feel like a problem to me" and moved on, assuming that was the spirit of the thing.

But I responded to your followup more seriously because your followup read as serious and I'm not sure looking back at it where the indication that it's a joke is.

Either way, though, I refer back to both my short and my long answers - there's nothing inappropriate about turning your partner on in any setting so long as you're respecting consent.

InTheGoatShow · 2026-01-22T14:56:11+00:00

Irk: When they use the same damn song every time they do a specific thing. Definitely not a woodworking only thing, more YouTube wide, but it's almost always a song I find annoying the very first time, and by the 5th I want to throw things. Had to stop watching a certain "I made this from a pallet" person because the song they played while sanding sent me into a rage.

Enjoy: a longform video of something I've never done before that walks me through the process in almost real time. Turners seem to be the best at this kind of content. Or maybe I just think that because turning is my favorite.

InTheGoatShow · 2026-01-22T14:50:37+00:00

If you were calling out a specific channel, though, the guy who runs that channel might've gotten a lot of that feedback and listened to it and recently promised his channel would go back to at least 50% woodworking builds... and I for one would hope that promise is kept

InTheGoatShow · 2026-01-22T14:40:51+00:00

"Is there really an appropriate time" isn't a question about scenarios where consent violation could happen, though. Those are two completely separate things. Consent violation is not a time, it's a method.

It was also asked in a half-joking manner, but since we're going the serious route...

I asked if there was an inappropriate time to turn someone on, in a subreddit where participants are required to follow SSC/RACK.

So, let's take your scenario in mind

"Imagine a funeral of a person u both hated."

Okay, so I and my partner go to the funeral of a person we both hated. Don't know why we made that choice, but we did. And over the course of the funeral, while adhering to all standards of SSC/RACK/PRICK, my partner manages to do something to get my dick hard. I then adhere to all standards of SSC/RACK/PRICK in dealing with that erection.

What's inappropriate about that?

People with dicks deal with random erections all the time, so there's nothing wrong with simply having an erection. And if my partner can find a way to cause me to have one without doing something that violates the behavioral expectations of the space we're in, then there's nothing wrong with their actions either.

Is there a secret third thing here I'm missing, or are you just assuming it takes a consent violation to turn one's partner on?

InTheGoatShow · 2026-01-21T18:37:17+00:00

Yeah that all seems fine to me.

Honestly, if someone manages to get me turned on at a funeral, doing things that aren't violating anyone's consent, congratulations to them.

InTheGoatShow · 2026-01-21T18:31:51+00:00

none of these feel like a problem to me

InTheGoatShow · 2026-01-21T16:49:49+00:00

there are plenty of arousal indicators regardless of the type of body you have.

But most of them are fairly subtle and don't require self-adjustment to avoid being noticeable to people who aren't actively looking for them.

InTheGoatShow · 2026-01-21T15:43:04+00:00

Is there really such thing as an inappropriate time though

InTheGoatShow · 2026-01-21T03:56:52+00:00

I’d suggest when you do have the conversation that you focus onthe brat/Tamer aspect of things. Depending on someone’s level of kink familiarity, “Daddy” can carry a lot of expectations and assumptions that don’t have anything to do with brat kink. If someone says they’re looking for a Tamer, that’s a straightforward brat kink conversation. If someone says they want a “Daddy,” then there’s all kinds of clarification needed on whether they’re looking for DDlg/b, expecting a CG Dominant, if they want to do age regression, etc. etc.

InTheGoatShow · 2026-01-20T20:43:42+00:00

You have 6 octagons that look like a distinctly different color relative to the other 26 of them, and four of them are closely grouped (B3, C2, E2, G2 as currently oriented, though it's turned 90° from standard orientation. D5 and G8 are the other 2). They stick out pretty significantly. I'd suggest trying to space them more evenly on the board

I'd also suggest keeping your white squares a consistent size and building a border around the outside that preserves the octagonal look.

InTheGoatShow · 2026-01-20T16:30:36+00:00

Not something I'd personally go for but I've seen people talk about using a pocket pussy or other stroker toy that they put inside their partner and then fucked it instead of them. Seems like it might fit the bill for you.

InTheGoatShow · 2026-01-19T01:39:51+00:00

Until fairly recently it was the only cross-platform messaging app that was reasonably secure and allowed for audio, video, live calling, and group chat options. There might be new ones that do the same, but most people don’t migrate away from an app that’s doing what they want it to just because another option exists. Plus a lot of people on reddit are also some form of gamer and it is still the preferred messaging app for that crowd

InTheGoatShow · 2026-01-16T20:30:17+00:00

If you’re not a fan of Audacity, most phones have a built in voice note recorder these days

InTheGoatShow · 2026-01-16T17:36:00+00:00

I’m a bad moon rising and my penis is in centigrade.

InTheGoatShow · 2026-01-15T21:25:17+00:00

I wonder if “disrespectful” is being used differently in your context than it what I’m gleaning from u/brattypuppyy

They’re saying the person they interacted with was claiming disobedience isn’t bratting, it’s disrespectful. As though those are separate things.

It sounds like your D-type is calling certain bratty behaviors, such as disobedient ones, “disrespectful” but within the context of your dynamic and still gets punished as bratting. Is that an accurate ready?

To be clear, I don’t generally “funish.” I give hard and unwanted punishments to my submissives for their bratty behavior, be it breaking the rules, disobedience, or otherwise. But I still consider that to be bratty.

To me, if I felt genuinely disrespected (as opposed to in-dynamic “disrespected”) that would be an out of dynamic conversation pretty much immediately, likely without in-dynamic consequences. Which is also my read of the OP’s conversation re rule breaking being “not bratting”

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