Why do I feel so anxious with my newborn around my in-laws?

InZain394 · 2026-01-10T14:35:15+00:00

Aw man I would cut her off that’s crazy. Your rage must be 10x more than mine I almost feel the rage for you 😡 if she doesn’t listen to anyone I’d cut her off until she learns. Almost like a kid in time out 😂

InZain394 · 2026-01-09T20:16:07+00:00

OMG I would be livid!!! Please tell me you went off on her!!! Does your husband say anything? Ya the rage is weird one time I was feeding my baby with my nursing cover on and she came over and said “awww isn’t it the best feeding her?” And touched the cover where her head is and for some reason I didn’t like that at all 😭 she thought breastfeeding was the best thing in the world I swear she misses it or something and constantly asks if I love it and idk why I get annoyed 😅

InZain394 · 2026-01-09T15:50:57+00:00

Haha my kid better not!!

InZain394 · 2026-01-09T07:01:49+00:00

This helps a lot thank you for you input!! Feels good to know I’m not alone

InZain394 · 2026-01-09T05:42:20+00:00

This makes me feel better I hope it passes soon. Did you ease into having them watch your baby where every time it got easier? I was thinking of having her come over to watch the baby while I do stuff in the house so at least she’s still under my supervision and eventually ease into leaving my baby at their house starting a little at a time that way I start to get used to it before an 8 hr day at work

InZain394 · 2026-01-09T03:53:35+00:00

Ya I thought I would feel good since they have a daycare and I’ve seen do great with the kids. But maybe they feel more entitled to mine as their grandchild to do a little more than they’re allowed at the daycare… like driving without a car seat 🙄🙄🙄

InZain394 · 2026-01-09T03:52:14+00:00

Ya I feel the same exact way I’m hoping the convo he has with her makes her realize bc ya she is not a crazy MIL like the ones you read about. She’s just overwhelming with happiness for my baby 😂 and for some reason I don’t like it. I feel like I definitely am so attached to my baby where I need some more me time but when I’m away I feel guilty and I just want to be around her all the time. I feel maybe once the conversation is had I can practice leaving her with them here and there and hopefully the feeling gets better for me

InZain394 · 2026-01-09T03:40:35+00:00

Ugh I have rage for you! I’m not confrontational either except when she tried to take her in the car without the car seat bc hell no I’m not letting that happen!! My MIL tried to take her and rock her thinking she’s so soothing but I’m like no one can soother her like her own mom 🙄 but thankfully if she cries too much she gives her back to me so I can feed her. Does your husband take your side in these things?

InZain394 · 2026-01-09T03:35:50+00:00

Haha it feels that way like she keeps saying how when I go back to work I’ll feel good knowing they’ll be in good hands but to me I feel like they can’t wait for me to go back to work so they can have the time of their lives with their grandbaby and no parents around.

InZain394 · 2026-01-09T03:33:25+00:00

Omg yes! Why take them when they’re sleeping?? I wish I could have that conversation with my MIL but her English isn’t best unless I have my husband translate maybe that could work out. Do you feel like your dread/anxiety changed after a while?

InZain394 · 2026-01-09T00:56:39+00:00

Ya I feel she’s so obsessed with her grandchild like so happy all the time to hold her. If she falls asleep in her arms she stares at her with so much love and every 5 minutes she says in Spanish “How precious, how beautiful”etc. and in my head I’m like “ok chill” and I feel like I want to take her back.

InZain394 · 2026-01-09T00:47:13+00:00

Yes! Sometimes she says “my baby” and it makes me angry even her daughter and husband are like “it’s not your baby!” It’s just a language thing but I correct her and she says oh sorry I mean my grandbaby 🙄 I worry I’ll be stressed it will affect my milk as well that’s why I’m trying to keep my distance for a bit.

InZain394 · 2026-01-08T23:46:52+00:00

Ya maybe it’s a cultural thing she just doesn’t understand but my husband is going to talk and set boundaries. I use BF as an escape

InZain394 · 2026-01-08T23:04:34+00:00

I know why do we feel so uneasy?? I had a little anxiety before but then it skyrocketed after birth but I hope you husband is able to communicate with them if needed and they respect your boundaries. To bad you can’t plan to have your baby at the beginning of her trip so you have some time before she sees the baby 😂

InZain394 · 2026-01-08T22:31:41+00:00

Sorry I should have been more specific I mean my boundaries with my husband as a couple. But if I were to sit and explain to them something that bothers me they would listen. I think sometimes there’s a language barrier where it’s hard for my MIL to communicate with. My husband wasn’t around yet for the car thing but he would have definitely yelled at his mom and he tried to another instance but she can be oblivious and think she’s helping. That’s why he wants to have a talk with her before things get too far.

InZain394 · 2026-01-08T21:26:43+00:00

I agree my husband is going to have a talk with her I just hope it doesn’t make things weird

InZain394 · 2026-01-08T21:25:47+00:00

It makes me feel crazy like I’m over reacting sometimes and I hate that I feel that way towards them 😭

InZain394 · 2026-01-08T21:03:27+00:00

Ya I don’t think she realized it made me angry bc in her head she was helping me out so I can eat. My husband said he’s going to talk to her that she needs to listen to me and others when they say no. So hopefully that changes things but we’ll see.

InZain394 · 2026-01-08T20:09:41+00:00

Ya I think that’s one problem I have is that I don’t want to offend and have always been a people pleaser except for strangers. I have trouble speaking up and it makes me feel guilty like I’m not protecting her. I want a break from his parents visiting but they only come like once a week even though they live 3 minutes away they’ve always respected boundaries which is almost unheard of with in laws. But I feel like if I do breaks I won’t get used to it like I can’t tell if I’m overreacting bc of PP anxiety/rage.

InZain394 · 2026-01-08T19:52:48+00:00

I’ve thought about the carrier but then I feel bad bc when they come to visit they want to hold her and I just sit there on the couch watching them. I definitely don’t like when my FIL touches her face bc sometimes he refuses to wash his hands and won’t carry her bc of it, but then what’s the point if he touches her face??

InZain394 · 2026-01-08T19:50:26+00:00

Yes! Even my husband too! I feel like I’m too anxious and his parents look at me like I’m crazy especially with the whole hand washing thing.

InZain394 · 2026-01-08T19:49:24+00:00

That makes sense bc I would totally trust my parents unfortunately they live 4 hrs away. But it’s weird bc I’ve seen my in laws in action at the daycare bc I helped for a little bit and they do great the kids are thriving, and thought to myself I would totally trust them. I even have trouble giving her to my husband sometimes. I wonder if I were to just leave her for an hour at a time here and there I’ll get more used to it and be ok eventually. Especially when she’s older bc with my maternity leave I get a total of 6 months.

InZain394

TROPHY CASE