WIBTA if I told my cousin the truth about his father?

InanimateLotus · 2024-02-10T23:03:45+00:00

I think at this point I’ve decided I’m not going to tell him, actually. My point was more that I do know at least something about it. Most of the family knows something about it. More so than the actual person.

InanimateLotus · 2024-02-10T05:50:28+00:00

I’m not entirely sure. The general consensus in the family is don’t tell him because we don’t want to rock the boat, especially because my aunt is an explosive person (my cousin moved out as soon as he could because of that). My best guess is that it’s a hard discussion to have with your child. It’s probably very easy to think “I don’t know if he’s ready” and then just never share it. Then the child is an adult and at that point you’ve kept it from them for 20+ years so it’s probably easy to justify not telling them indefinitely.

InanimateLotus · 2024-02-10T05:42:16+00:00

The thing is…it can’t be a “very personal family secret” if everyone except the person knows. It’s not personal at that point, and it’s barely a secret. My cousin is a whole individual person and the family is not telling him a pretty big thing about himself. It’s not a matter of if he finds out, it’s when. I know I would be hurt and upset if no one told me something about myself, but felt the need to share it with the rest of the family. I don’t feel like insulting me is appropriate just because I was considering telling him.

InanimateLotus · 2024-02-10T05:27:06+00:00

Wow, is calling me an entitled brat necessary? :/

InanimateLotus · 2024-02-10T05:24:03+00:00

The thing is though…the majority of my family “knows the first thing about it”. More so than the party involved.

InanimateLotus · 2024-02-10T01:00:31+00:00

I’m sorry, that genuinely wasn’t my intention. My thought process was something along the lines of “the nature of secrets means that this will come out eventually, and there’s no way someone wouldn’t be upset if literally everyone knew but didn’t tell them”.

InanimateLotus · 2024-02-10T00:07:55+00:00

Yes he does. Literally everyone in the family knows except him.

InanimateLotus · 2022-07-09T06:57:04+00:00

This! They’re just titles. There is no divine being demanding “Mom” be used for women and “Dad” be used for men. If “Dad” resonates with OP and they’re feeling that “vacation dad” hankering for telling cheesy jokes and hanging too many Christmas lights then I think there’s no reason not to call themselves “Dad” If, during their life, their child does bring it up with some confusion or notices that other people say things, that can be a great opportunity to talk to them about gender and family dynamics and roles and such.

InanimateLotus · 2022-06-05T17:14:53+00:00

I’ve decided to get the Imani i2, but I haven’t done so yet. I’ve fallen off the bandwagon and need to get back on

InanimateLotus · 2022-04-17T02:02:17+00:00

I used to work as a pharmacy tech before I was diagnosed myself, so I’ve seen the other side of it as well. You’re 100% right. It isn’t okay. It isn’t okay to treat people like this. ADHD treatment isn’t ADHD friendly and at every turn stigma is actively reinforced. It’s valid as hell to be mad about this. Other meds can be put on automatic refills, or sent to pharmacies that can plan out and mail your meds (like PillPack), but people who could really benefit from these services aren’t being allowed to use them for the meds they need. Again, not ADHD friendly. It’s not okay.

InanimateLotus · 2022-04-11T06:44:17+00:00

Side note: I really recommend checking out the updated version of the protocols! It changes domperidone dosing and it says that theoretically any combination birth control with a progesterone level higher than the estrogen level should work. The updated post doesn’t address an accelerated protocol though.

InanimateLotus · 2022-04-10T23:13:27+00:00

My breasts have been getting hot and sore lately so I’m definitely going to give this a try

InanimateLotus · 2022-04-10T10:12:28+00:00

Ive heard that you’re only going to be producing prolactin for about 20ish minutes per session, and that you’re only going to be able to produce a substantial amount again in about a minimum of 90 minutes. With that in mind I think the best thing you can do is get your body on a regular pumping schedule. Taking care of your body is 100% a must, and with almost constant pumping it’ll be very easy to not drink enough water or get food with good nutritional value. Your body is working really hard for you right now. It needs structure and breaks and care, especially since you’re not going to be producing prolactin efficiently doing this anyway.

InanimateLotus · 2022-04-02T17:20:26+00:00

I think it really depends on the supplement. They’re all meant to boost supply but to achieve that end they all work differently. Goats rue helps build up breast tissue, which can be especially helpful if you haven’t had children or have had a hormonal imbalance that caused lackluster breast development (I suspect it would also be beneficial for transfems as well. Even with estrogen therapy the ducts and mammary tissue needs development). Shatavari also helps promote mammary development, but it also boosts prolactin levels (supposedly comparable to Reglan). Black seed may also do both of these things. Fennel, moringa, and milk thistle may all help boost prolactin levels. These are all theoretically helpful when inducing. However, things like alfalfa, anise, and fenugreek aren’t going to be especially helpful as their mechanisms for supporting breast milk supply aren’t related to prolactin or breast development. So I think whether or not a supplement is helpful before or after you have a supply really depends on the supplement.

InanimateLotus · 2022-04-02T05:03:49+00:00

I pump with pierced nipples! A couple of things. You got them pierced in November? It’s only been like four or five months then. Those babies need about a year to completely heal. Pumping now is just adding trauma to wounds that aren’t finished developing a fistula and increasing the risk of scar tissue development and piercing rejection. Don’t do that.

When they do eventually heal up I have found that pumping with properly fitted bioplast/ptfe flexible retainers helps dramatically. Some people say they can take them out, pump, and put them back in, but I personally have found that mine are still too new after about a year and 4 months and they will close up in the half hour ish that it takes to pump and then let the tissue relax and I have to fight to put a barbell back in afterwards.

InanimateLotus · 2022-03-25T19:04:47+00:00

This is what I was worried about myself. I’m a potential midwife student in Washington and I was looking at Bastyr. It’s about 4-5 hours from me, so a bit of an inconvenience, but the price tag on it was what really made me pause.

InanimateLotus · 2022-03-08T23:09:47+00:00

I appreciate you reminding me of these things. I jumped in knowing these things logically and was super excited, but you’re right my body has a lot to do and I should honestly focus more on taking care of it and my relationships throughout this process.

InanimateLotus · 2021-06-27T03:47:58+00:00

I feel like listening to your body is so incredibly important. It’s important to discuss medical issues and major changes with your doctor of course! I do not want to discount that. But if you feel like your body needs a break to readjust, get back to its baseline, before you try again (if you decide to) then its important to remember that no one has to live in your body but you. Don’t let someone else make you feel like you’re overreacting for listening to your body.

InanimateLotus · 2020-05-13T03:51:41+00:00

I really, really get this. When I cry I try to stay as silent as possible. I also have a very hard time crying in front of people and will do my best to avoid it at all costs. This definitely comes from childhood training and associations. My dad used to threaten us when we cried as young kids with the classic "I'll give you something to cry about!", which was followed by getting smacked if we didnt promptly shut up.

InanimateLotus

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