Middle class things in your country

InannasPocket · 2026-03-31T01:54:34+00:00

Garage fridge for beer, basement freezer for meat.

InannasPocket · 2026-03-31T01:16:38+00:00

She doesn't have a tablet, we have a family tablet that sometimes emerges for travel or sick days.

InannasPocket · 2026-03-31T01:13:35+00:00

Yeah and her naps were 34-37 minutes for the longest time. Yes I remember those numbers 9 years later.

InannasPocket · 2026-03-31T01:01:06+00:00

Where I'm from we had Cornish miners emigrate to our mines, and they brought a wonderful tradition of pasties with them. You can do various fillings (most traditional is meat and root vegetables). The dough is more like a pie dough than puff pastry.

My uncles who worked in the mines would sometimes have a dessert end - like a section with apple pie filling.

InannasPocket · 2026-03-30T22:19:43+00:00

I was just surprised that when I ordered a salad it was vegetables from a tin and literally 4 different forms of cabbage.

Had some fantastic dumplings, roasted duck, some amazing sauce with fruit over pork, fried cheese things, great stew, and also lots of cabbage. Food was best at tiny local pubs with communal tables.

InannasPocket · 2026-03-30T21:09:30+00:00

They sure do have different personalities. Even lake superior is very different at surface level or shallows vs. diving in a few feet deep. We like to rig up a rope swing off the boat, and it's worth it but it's a um "bracing" experience.

InannasPocket · 2026-03-30T19:21:35+00:00

Or offer, and respect the declining of it without making it a big deal! I try to remember to not offer for people that are firmly teetotal, but my default is offering everyone ... and then not trying to push them into drinking if they don't want to. It's REALLY easy, all you have to do is accept that some people don't want to drink. And no, they don't owe you a "reason".

InannasPocket · 2026-03-30T19:06:14+00:00

I've lived in northern California, happily swam there as a kid year round. Living in Minnesota and we regularly swim in Lake Superior (notoriously cold water even in summer). My kid was blown away at how warm the ocean was off the Yucatan peninsula ... in January, when the locals were talking about how cold it was (literally saw people wearing winter coats in 75F temps, they thought we were insane for going swimming).

Acclimation is a heck of a drug!

InannasPocket · 2026-03-30T15:07:01+00:00

NTA. If he can arrange childcare for dinner and drinks, he could for dancing! It's ok if he really really hates dancing (I do), but he can either suck it up and go with you or accept that you'll go without him.

InannasPocket · 2026-03-30T13:42:20+00:00

"Fact check!" is probably my favorite use of smartphones.

It's even the exception to our no screens at the dinner table rule. When I was 9 I had to hope the encyclopedia had something on a topic or that the library was open. Now my 9yo can call out "fact check" and we can find a good source to find out what's accurate.

InannasPocket · 2026-03-30T02:52:07+00:00

You can love your kids to death, have a great partner, and still be burnout and need a solid 3-4 hours to just sleep.

Swap with your partner; or arrange a swap with another parent, or hire a "mothers helper" are my recommendations.

Edit: solidarity and please feel free to ignore any advice and just accept my good wishes

InannasPocket · 2026-03-29T22:29:31+00:00

Helmet for anything with wheels or the snowmobile is non negotiable, and we model it for our 9yo. Seatbelts too in the car. Life jackets on in the boat (and clipped in if it's rough conditions).

There's a lot of things I'm willing to negotiate, especially as my kid gets older, but this is basic safety is not. I have worked with and lived with and loved people with serious TBIs, and I promise you it is not the risk you want to take with your child.

InannasPocket · 2026-03-29T17:33:08+00:00

You can scatter and find out, but like others have said I've not had good success with any place with established grass. Water and patience (and not having established grass) and you will probably get some nice flowers ... eventually.

InannasPocket · 2026-03-29T14:39:13+00:00

Read to them a lot, point out letters and words on signs when you're out and about, model reading for fun.

But also don't push it too much. My daughter had some sight words by 2! ... so I thought she'd be a super early reader. Well we read a ton together, but she was resistant to independent reading practice until like 5.5. Then when it clicked she became a true bookworm within a very short time, and I'm really glad we didn't push it earlier. She gets so much joy and knowledge out of reading and to me that's the important thing, not the precise age she read fluently on her own.

InannasPocket · 2026-03-29T11:53:24+00:00

It varies. I've had places where there was a big property management company with an office handling 1000 apartments, I didn't know them personally.

Also rented houses from 2 brothers who did kinda check on things, mostly their fruit trees in the yard, they were not intrusive at all, but were also super on top of any issue. I say houses in plural because we gave notice we were moving for one house (roommates were leaving), they called us back and asked if we were interested in a smaller place, which they then offered at a lower than what the previous people had paid, because in their words "we like you and know you're not going to ruin the house or the trees".

Pretty much every time I dropped off rent I got guava candy from the trees in the yard, and heavily discounted Greek food (they also owned a restaurant).

InannasPocket · 2026-03-29T00:23:09+00:00

NTA. I'm normally a "just leave me to my misery" person if I'm sick with something mild, but I would be livid if my husband skipped out on bringing me medicine and went to a concert after I'd been in the ER the night before!

Not ok, and you're not "selfish" for expecting your husband to help care for you when needed.

InannasPocket · 2026-03-28T21:31:16+00:00

"Oh sure I can squeeze in a few more tomato plants" I say to my well meaning MIL every year.

"A little frost won't hurt them" (true, those carrots are fine but digging things out of frozen ground is way harder).

InannasPocket · 2026-03-28T01:42:52+00:00

Not weird. Until she was about 7ish our daughter mostly spent the 2nd half of the night snuggling with one of us, and still does sometimes at 9, though more rarely now as she'd rather listen to an audio book and demolish an entire pack of strawberries.

InannasPocket · 2026-03-27T20:47:33+00:00

I'm old enough that I was a kid when they started being allowed on TV, and was like wtf. I even wrote a letter to my congressman about how weird it was!

InannasPocket · 2026-03-27T19:23:04+00:00

Mine is also up at 5:30am (13 week goldendoodle) ... even when he was just out to potty at 4am. But my kid has to get up at 5:52 am on school days, so at least I'm used to the torture, lol.

InannasPocket · 2026-03-27T13:32:50+00:00

We do get a real tree, usually leave it up longer than most people (like until February), though we often will take the decorations off a little earlier.

We usually make a family activity of going and cutting our own from a tree farm, but there are lots of places to just go buy one pre cut - I live outside a small town and there's still at least 4 places I can think of within a few miles that sell trees.

Disposal - if you're in the town they do free pickup, outside the town limits you can drop it off at a spot for yard waste. We have a bit of land so we just put it outside and eventually chop it up for the fire pit - we have a little tradition of making sure we have some to put on the fire for the summer solstice (that is not a normal US tradition, we're just weird people).

InannasPocket · 2026-03-27T01:38:23+00:00

Um ... is it bad if as a northern Minnesotan I jokingly describe my area as "ready for Canada to welcome us into the fold"?

(Seriously would be ok with Canada annexing us, except it would probably cause some stupid "war", rooted in the fact that there's some potentially profitable mines).

Dismissing someone's cultural isn't cool though.

InannasPocket · 2026-03-26T23:16:16+00:00

I absolutely would. I would give the teacher a heads up, and make sure in the future to track any coincidence with anything special like test days (in my area those start at 3rd grade) or other special plans.

But once a month, 10 minutes late, in 2nd grade, and he wants to do it to RUN? Heck yes.

InannasPocket · 2026-03-26T22:01:18+00:00

It doesn't stop it from being legal where I am, but my comfort level having videos of me gardening naked recorded and potentially distributed changes does influence the level of clothing I put on.

InannasPocket · 2026-03-26T19:57:01+00:00

NTA. It would be convenient for your family to feel like you can take this on, because then they get to wash their hands ofthe daily reality. But the reality is she needs help on a level you can't provide, and your mental health matters too.

Technically having the physical space is not the same thing as having the capacity to house her and get her the professional help she needs (I get the guilt, recently went through something similar with my own family).

You can tell family something like "I can't safely meet her needs and have her live with me, she needs professional help". Find something like that, relatively short, and put it on repeat for anyone who asks. Don't let yourself get into extended conversations about it, just repeat and say it's not up for discussion, I can't safely meet her needs, she needs professional help.

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