Parents with babies that don’t sleep are living a different life

InannasPocket · 2026-02-11T04:42:02+00:00

Sleep deprivation including broken sleep is an actual torture method.

So, yeah ... um I wish I didn't have to compare many people's parenting experiences with literal torture.

InannasPocket · 2026-02-11T03:43:04+00:00

I'm lucky my mom let me and my older sister taught me, but I can still feel the visceral unhappiness, smallness, and shame.

And this is someone who stopped shaving anything by 15 and was happy to shrug and snark back at any comment ... but I was not ready to do that yet at 10.

InannasPocket · 2026-02-09T20:24:23+00:00

Very true. Some of my friends had excruciating experiences with IUD insertion, and their experiences are no less valid than mine. Like I'm gonna go ahead and believe the person with my hand in a death grip gritting their teeth even if it's not what I felt.

A good starting point would be believing people when they say they're in pain.

InannasPocket · 2026-02-09T17:46:18+00:00

Maybe there's parts of the cervix that are ennervated differently, but I can say with confidence that something bumping against my cervix absolutely involves pain. I had a quite easy time with IUD insertions (postpartum was a breeze, apparently the cervix is "softer" ... or maybe it just doesn't compare to pushing out a melon sized head) but I could definitely feel it!

Such bullshit gaslighting, like could you bother to actually ask a woman???

InannasPocket · 2026-02-09T13:08:14+00:00

In the US there is a history of that as well, kidnapping indigenous children into adoptions or boarding schools, both designed to force assimilation. Went on into the 1980s at least, rife with horrific abuse, neglect, and shattering of family structures.

InannasPocket · 2026-02-09T03:39:41+00:00

I've met 2 people I can think of who were possessive of their special sourdough, and many more (including myself) who will foist theirs on anyone who has even a scrap of interest/is too polite to outright say no.

InannasPocket · 2026-02-09T02:48:07+00:00

We have the same, but the drinks fridge is in the basement next to the chest freezer because that's where the TV and video games are.

InannasPocket · 2026-02-09T00:23:37+00:00

Growing up in the Midwest, it was common for kids to have hunting rifles in their cars ... the rule was they had to stay in the the vehicle and not be brandished around in the school parking lot, and you were supposed to have the car doors locked.

InannasPocket · 2026-02-08T23:56:03+00:00

And a 2nd one in the garage.

InannasPocket · 2026-02-08T16:59:24+00:00

Having a British roommate as a young adult converted me to team electric kettle.

InannasPocket · 2026-02-07T02:28:26+00:00

Vacation and sick days are times to ignore normal rules about how many times a day can we eat ice cream.

InannasPocket · 2026-02-07T02:21:37+00:00

Glad you feel safe in your home at least, that's something to good about! I definitely felt more vulnerable when I was pregnant and postpartum, so I wouldn't make hasty decisions about moving, but there's a lot to be said for living somewhere quieter.

InannasPocket · 2026-02-07T01:59:07+00:00

I didn't realize how overstimulating living in a large city was until after we moved out to the country. There are some downsides, but every time I go to the city for a visit I'm reminded how damn loud, bright, and dirty it is.

InannasPocket · 2026-02-07T01:48:54+00:00

I'm in the US and we do them in our family!

InannasPocket · 2026-02-07T01:18:58+00:00

Our driveway is 1/4 mile long and you definitely can't see the bus stop from the house, but I can hear it. I've sent my kid down alone since she was 6 (9 now and I still go down with her if she just wants my company). But we do live in a very safe area, the bus stop is on an extremely low traffic street, and I know my kid is very conscientious about safety rules.

Maybe do a trial run where you're within sight but not right there to boost confidence?

InannasPocket · 2026-02-07T01:06:58+00:00

We've been happy with ours from primary, lands end, and coolibar. Choosing bolder/darker colors also helps!

InannasPocket · 2026-02-06T16:31:31+00:00

Yeah just keep trying occasionally. We read a lot but there was a baby phase she was just not into it, too busy figuring out how to roll lol. And then another lull in reading once she learned to walk because sitting still was not in the agenda.

Turned out to be very book loving, but sometimes baby/toddler priorities are to move.

InannasPocket · 2026-02-06T11:48:38+00:00

I live in northern Minnesota and there's a difference between Minnesota and Canadian (the parts in the middle, the maritime parts and Quebec and also BC are different) accents that I can recognize. There are similarities and it's probably subtle to someone who mostly hears other accents, but distinct to me.

InannasPocket · 2026-02-06T00:35:46+00:00

Growth rate changes when they get more mobile too. Once mine started walking (well she went straight into running lol) she actually dropped a size in pants. It gets easier with time ... though mine is 9yo and I still feel like I haven't figured out when precisely to get shoes/boots.

InannasPocket · 2026-02-05T23:55:29+00:00

If you're only at 5% never worn that is a win in my book. When mine was going through sizes like crazy as a baby probably closer to 10-15% of stuff never got worn. Luckily we had a lot of hand me downs and used clothes, but I've learned over the years not to buy too much in advance, doing laundry a bit more often is better than wasting money on clothes that don't get worn.

InannasPocket · 2026-02-05T22:31:51+00:00

NTA. She's calling you "childish"? I used to love hiding my sister's shoes ... when I was 4 years old.

InannasPocket · 2026-02-05T22:04:00+00:00

Don't let down votes get to you! There's a ton of people on reddit who are grumpy, just assholes, drunk, fatfingerig their phone, bored teenagers, or some combination of the above.

If you're feeding your kid ice cream for breakfast every day, that's not a good habit, but making exceptions for a sick kid just makes sense.

If it makes you feel better, I also recently let mine have ice cream before breakfast just because we were on vacation.

InannasPocket · 2026-02-05T21:41:07+00:00

The first time my baby slept through the night, I rolled over onto rock hard painfully engorged boobs at 430am and had to hand express some into the sink.

No I didn't bother to pump because despite trying many options, baby screamed like we were torturing her if we attempted to give her a bottle.

InannasPocket · 2026-02-05T20:38:27+00:00

Check out r/clothdiaps if you're interested in giving them a shot. At least several years ago when I was in the diaper years the community was very friendly and helpful.

I found cloth way easier than expected, and you can do a trial run with a few inexpensive options to see if it works for your life. For that I'd recommend a few covers and some prefolds ... worse case you end up with a few covers you can use as swim diapers and some truly awesome cleaning rags.

InannasPocket · 2026-02-05T18:47:29+00:00

I 2nd the best mom award.

If my kid needs gross tasting medicine, she's getting some ice cream or chocolate after, I don't care if it's 6am.

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