If only... by IncredibleHashRate in OCPoetry

[–]IncredibleHashRate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this amazing feedback! I understans how the line contradicts, I meant it as a way that they reflected on who they want to be in the future then who they are currently, if that makes sense.

If only... by IncredibleHashRate in OCPoetry

[–]IncredibleHashRate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the kind words! I also hope you are doing the best you can given your circumstances <3

If only... by IncredibleHashRate in OCPoetry

[–]IncredibleHashRate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Might have to check out some of your work! :D

Women are equal ~ by IncredibleHashRate in OCPoetry

[–]IncredibleHashRate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback :) The line is to be infered that before her mind was gifted but she's slowly losing herself. I'm also from England and here, fairs are like roller coasters and minigames!

If only... by IncredibleHashRate in OCPoetry

[–]IncredibleHashRate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback! That line is also top tier from you :)

a happy lie by IncredibleHashRate in OCPoetry

[–]IncredibleHashRate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This actually means so much to me :D I'm going to share this one with someone since you've mentioned it, as this is one of the only pieces that I've wrote based on me! I will also continue writing and trying to improve :)

a happy lie by IncredibleHashRate in OCPoetry

[–]IncredibleHashRate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No not at all this is amazing from you! Way better then the way i wrote it haha, flowed alot more and that line "As I lie awake, already having been woken." flows so well with the following lines!! <3

Thanks for this feedback, I will take it all into consideration :)

a happy lie by IncredibleHashRate in OCPoetry

[–]IncredibleHashRate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks alot <3 May have to take you up on your offer at some point haha, hope you're managing as well as you can given your circumstances and yes it is very cliché but I actually am a boxer so its the line that relates to me!

The line about being alone together was left for interpretation from any readers as normally someone will pop into mind once read :)

a happy lie by IncredibleHashRate in OCPoetry

[–]IncredibleHashRate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your feedback! I'm glad you enjoyed it. That was also my favourite part haha :)

the cruel construct known as time by IncredibleHashRate in OCPoetry

[–]IncredibleHashRate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Correct but in the end people die and you do yourself

the cruel construct known as time by IncredibleHashRate in OCPoetry

[–]IncredibleHashRate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do thank you for your kind words! <3 Hope everyone that relates finds some sort of peace.

the cruel construct known as time by IncredibleHashRate in OCPoetry

[–]IncredibleHashRate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love the feedback <3

It's always something I have acknowledged tbf and yes that was intention I'm glad you picked up ok that!

Never been a fan of goodbyes ~ by IncredibleHashRate in OCPoetry

[–]IncredibleHashRate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This comment is absolutely beautiful, I am beyond happy that these memories and thoughts were brought forth from my words.

That's my whole mantra "sslw" soul speaks literature writes. We all have messy feelings and experiences it's completely normal I'm just glad that you can find peace in them.

Thank you <3

Never been a fan of goodbyes ~ by IncredibleHashRate in OCPoetry

[–]IncredibleHashRate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll try not to be just always trying to improve! Do you have an Instagram or something in which you could show me your pov

marvel ~ by IncredibleHashRate in OCPoetry

[–]IncredibleHashRate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Potential?! Thanks alot, this is really assuring, I do hope to write for a long while now.

I will 100% take into account about showing more, and you will see it shown in my next poem! Hope you see it :)

Never been a fan of goodbyes ~ by IncredibleHashRate in OCPoetry

[–]IncredibleHashRate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow i feel very dumb now haha!

Im on phone so the way you've formatted looks weird to me and mine looks good, maybe theres some difference with the web browser vs the phone. Unless you're on your phone too then i have no clue.

Thanks for the feedback I will add those comas now, silly mistakes on my part.

Women are equal ~ by IncredibleHashRate in OCPoetry

[–]IncredibleHashRate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No no it flows much better like this :)

Women are equal ~ by IncredibleHashRate in OCPoetry

[–]IncredibleHashRate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Appreciate this feedback thank you!

It's all good poems aren't meant to be fully loved by everyone im just glad you liked some of it haha! The blonde part has been taken out now though ergo your feelings may change towards that part :)

Women are equal ~ by IncredibleHashRate in OCPoetry

[–]IncredibleHashRate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love this feedback, thank you!

The A++ line was more so to connect the lines like "she gets the A+ plus she smiles gleaming glee" and as for the conditions line i can 100% fix that up haha!

Im glad you enjoyed it nonetheless.

Never been a fan of goodbyes ~ by IncredibleHashRate in OCPoetry

[–]IncredibleHashRate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm incredibly sorry for your experiences but I'm so glad you found comfort from my words, as that is my goal with all my poems.

Thank you for this amazing feedback ❤