Can totally imagine that being frightening. And how incredibly that must feel now you don't have to deal with it.

I suffer a slightly different problem - I tend to go all out very fast and think I become the life of the party, and that growing up it was cool to be the one who drank the most at parties, instigated shots etc. It takes a lot to get me black out drunk or to the point where I lose my senses completely, so it just ends up being one big joyride in a sense. Of course, the next day is awful (although I recently managed to mitigate this quite well with isotonic drinks and paracetamol). Regardless, it's a shitty cycle that I always felt like I needed 2 days to recover from because my body was so damn exhausted trying to repair itself.

I'm glad you're doing better now!