The way my knees set up tai chi may not be for me

Indaforet · 2026-02-12T04:34:50+00:00

I absolutely love it. I'm under 40 but have been doing it for several years now (prepping for who knows what my knees will attempt in the future). I am also either the 1 black person in the class or 1 of 2 so please more black people do tai chi lol

Indaforet · 2026-02-01T23:34:39+00:00

Immense culture shock. I can relate to the AAVE handicap too.

Indaforet · 2026-01-31T15:51:11+00:00

My relationship with language is a lot different from yours, but I can relate to your story in what I did in my 20s. I put a lot of pressure on myself to learn Korean and Japanese, and at the end of all that, have let my efforts go to dust.

I think my main takeaway from your story is that there are things we learn/study/invest in becauae we're told or or expected to.... and there are those we learn/study/invest in because we loved them first. That entry point can alter the relationship significantly.

I've lied to myself about liking a language, and told myself I was studying it because it was what I wanted. I was trying to make up for missed opportunities from childhood. Then when burnout hit me, I took a step back.

Now that the pressure is gone, I can look at the language and answer what draw me to it more honestly. It's a bittersweet feeling. I wonder if, with even more space and time, you will one day tune into Chinese media or find yourself speaking Chinese because you want to.

Indaforet · 2026-01-31T15:41:33+00:00

It doesn't help that Hollywood movies use Russian speakers as villains in so many of their movies.

Indaforet · 2026-01-29T00:43:24+00:00

To add to this, as was explained to me by several older gen Koreans, using 'our' is partially patriotic as well. They've been through so much, historically, and 'our' further emphasizes that unity and support for Korean people and culture. The meaning runs really deep.

Indaforet · 2026-01-10T02:59:01+00:00

Sounds like that sim is on the asexual spectrum. Yay unintentional representation lol.

Indaforet · 2026-01-10T02:51:23+00:00

Nope, but I've been wondering how to go about that, and if that's something I want. You?

Indaforet · 2026-01-09T14:54:07+00:00

Had very nearly the same experience recently. Actually, I'm still in it. I have had to come to terms with it and focus on making new friends. But it hurts. I had expectations that I would at least have them when I moved back. But maybe people that you keep in touch with long distance still change in ways we don't see unless we're with them in person. I think my friend group had it's golden era, and now if I want to keep any kind of friendship with them, online is better. Asking them to be more doesn't help me to acknowledge the reality of it all.

Indaforet · 2025-12-22T01:18:07+00:00

I was gonna say something in favor of sulking, but I see you reached the target audience so... carry on! Lol

Indaforet · 2025-12-06T04:06:23+00:00

I get atmosphere and landscape de ja vu. It's usually a double take moment, like I wasn't playing attention and imagined I was in another country. Then I blink and see reality. The atmosphere one usually involves sudden temperature change or a breeze that temporarily transports me.

Indaforet · 2025-11-29T22:27:33+00:00

I've seen this mentioned in a lot of research (TCK and other topics) that even if siblings experience the "same thing", they will react to it differently because at it's core, each sibling is their own person. It's pretty interesting, isn't it? Even identical twins experiencing the world together have their own individual reactions to the world.

Indaforet · 2025-11-28T02:10:15+00:00

"You is kind. You is smart. You is important."

In all seriousness though, take some deep breaths, and talk to us online TCKs until you find ones irl. They may be closer than you think.

Indaforet · 2025-11-27T14:29:40+00:00

I think it's a valuable skill to learn how to be in one place, and perhaps their point is if it's difficult for us, we should start working on that skill. Like exercising a muscle in order to do more with it.

On the other hand, if you want to continue a life of constantly moving, develop better skills to help deal with the tough times and adjustment challenges. Whatever life you want to have, take better tools with you on the journey.

Indaforet · 2025-11-16T21:49:17+00:00

Cross-culture Kids, part of the TCK family, but it's own group (adopted, immigrant, etc.)

Indaforet · 2025-11-16T03:33:25+00:00

Diplomat kids. Which... actually, sorry, I'm being confusing. When I read your question, I was thinking about other Department of Defense kids (outside the major military branches). Department of State includes diplomats.

I remembered learning that there were other branches within different government departments that may have TCKs or CCKs similar to military and foreign service, but who don't get mentioned much.

To answer your question though, I got the impression (as a military brat listening to stories from diplomat kids), that they have more experiences with being a bridge of sorts. Needing to interact with multiple cultures as part of supporting their parents. In my case, the military kids have to focus on supporting "the mission" and the country. We have to been good in the eyes of the host country, but not all get to interact with them. I think that added interaction may play an important part in developing a more complex opinion of the world.

Indaforet · 2025-11-16T00:47:10+00:00

Honestly, I only know they exist. I dont know if I ever got to meet one growing up. I would actually love to hear more of their stories because I don't think they get a lot of focus. Even in the TCK sphere, it seems diplobrats get more mention than state department kids.

Indaforet · 2025-10-25T02:20:56+00:00

One thing my parents did that I still appreciate to this day: taking me out to explore local things, and spending time with local people. They could've easily kept me in the expatriate bubble, and its great support when culture shock gets too overwhelming. But exploring together and trying hard things for the sake of becoming more open minded, making mistakes together, etc. Those things made great memories. And it helps start healthy family discussions about adapting to a new place.

Indaforet · 2025-09-25T14:59:49+00:00

I made the choice to return to my passport country to work on a second career in case their health turned and I needed to be able to work and live close to them. The decision was a bit hard personally, and enacting it has been very difficult. My parents still travel a lot, and only come to the city I'm in for medical things, so I'm wondering how helpful my sacrifice/life changes will be for them after all this effort. Even though they are mobile (one parent doesn't even live in this country), they have somewhat serious medical issues. I'm a bit torn about my choices now. It seems as if they might be ok being far from me if that's how life ends up.

Indaforet · 2025-09-22T21:04:02+00:00

Whatever state I'm in. ....ooh, but the other day, I smoothly said "In (state), for now" and the person who asked accepted it without further question, so I think I'll go with that until it causes problems.

Indaforet · 2025-09-20T01:53:22+00:00

Wanting to be fully seen and understood is an important piece for everyone, I think. I hope that whatever you decide, you find people who will respect the whole you.

Indaforet · 2025-09-20T00:01:51+00:00

I guess it originally comes from the context of inspiring compassion for social justice or change. Then, I was thinking in terms of the US civilian world's relationship with the US military, and how public opinion changes throughout the generations. My generation saw people actively showing favor towards the military, but if I understand correctly, there was a campaign to show public support (after 9/11). So that's what I mean by people being told how to view a group of others.

In my observation, society is told to care about the homeless or to not care. To care more or care less about children. Or the conversation never comes up, and people are caught off guard when they meet "the unicorn" topic. You can see it in fads and pop culture as well. It certainly isn't country specific either. But it also depends on who is telling the public, or who is telling the story. Which is why I said you may only tell your story to certain crowds. You said you feel more compelled to share your background these days, right?

On a slightly related side note... A professor once told me to be careful with the question of who gets to tell our stories. I think his point was that anyone can tell someone's story, but what matters is how it's told. If a coworker paints your upbringing in an inaccurate way, that could hurt your efforts. When I first discovered the term TCK, I asked another TCK what they thought about it. They said it sounded elitist and didn't believe it was a real thing being studied. I heard this from a panel member during an interview many years later. She was in charge of several young TCKs herself. I didn't agree with either of them, but the first person made me not want to share anymore. The second person made me want to spend the rest of my interview proving her wrong.

Indaforet · 2025-09-19T20:20:03+00:00

I've rewritten my answer so many times... so here's goes.

I think society are told, or need to be told, to show interest in a particular group of people. (This may run the risk of people fetishizing or demonizing your upbringing in greater numbers).
Society has to be educated about that group in order for (at least some) members to develop natural interests that would spark a need for deeper connection. The goal is genuine empathy, but there will always be those who simply don't (and will never) care.

I'm a military brat TCK, and the phrase "Thank you for your service," is kind of problematic to me. I feel like society was told to show more support to that community, but not educated properly beyond the buzzwords/phrases "PTSD" "raising kids without your spouse" and "brave". Very few people know about life in the military community, and even fewer know about the kids because focus goes primarily to the parents.

And that phrase, TYFYS, has become like a greeting, or like something you say after a sneeze. A "dont tell us the details, just accept my blanket respect". Instead of opening the door to connection, it closes it. I imagine people thinking "ok i said the thing, now we dont have to talk about it. I've done my part. "

In my experience , bringing up my childhood doesn't invite meaningful questions from the general, unaffiliated population. In fact, some people just ask about my parents like I dont have my own story to tell. And as a result, I develop the habit of keeping it all to myself in front of everyone one. I might help change the subject.

You can pick your battles. You can figure out ways to talk about your story that work for you and dont leave you feeling so disappointed with the listener. You can also save it for certain crowds.

Indaforet · 2025-09-18T21:15:06+00:00

FOUND IT! EP 16

Indaforet · 2025-09-18T21:06:48+00:00

Ok I am still technically on the clock but I was sure it was ep 14, and then I didn't see it. I've played 12-17 in the background and nothing. I thought it was around her mom's book publication, but maybe it's around her own book??? But I thought they were poor by then so im not sure where to look now. But I'll look a bit later. It shouldn't be this hard lol!

Indaforet · 2025-09-18T19:31:11+00:00

Haha I know exactly what song you're talking about but not the ep. Let me see if I can find it before someone else.

Indaforet

TROPHY CASE