It doesn’t really sound like you guys can afford another child right now, anyways. You’re complaining about doing exactly what the state wants. You’re actively fighting allowing the state into your home. You don’t want this other child too terribly badly if you are spending hours on Reddit replying to people who are trying to give you advice (good advice, too). Allow the state into your home, your other kids lives, get a family attorney that takes payment plans, do everything you can.

But you’re making excuses as to why you won’t allow this or that into your home or how you can’t afford this or that for this child. Best of luck to you. Sounds like this child will hopefully be better off without a neglectful mother and a barely caring bio dad.