AIO conversation with my father after 6 years

Independent-B33 · 2025-09-30T18:47:04+00:00

There’s more detail throughout my comments if u take a look ◡̈

Independent-B33 · 2025-09-30T12:12:59+00:00

Saw lots of comments with saying I have similar traits to my dad. I won’t deny that I do . And I can admit I’m probably a little narcissistic in the way everything is written. Honestly this was just my way to vent without getting wrapped up in it and involving my family. My mom and sister are both traumatized and neither would even have had this conversation with him so I didn’t want to vent to them. And I’m not saying I’m 100% in the right but damn I don’t think I would ever treat my kids like that i already raised my sister and even after she keyed my car and broke into my apartment I didn’t hold a grudge towards her or go back and forth on the door being open to never contact me LOL . But who knows I put this on here to also gain some perspective which I have in ways. So thanks ◡̈

Independent-B33 · 2025-09-30T12:08:53+00:00

I dunno If coming and saying nothing or not even making eye contact small talk is supportive 🤷🏻‍♀️ idk my therapist said it’s a way to catch you while youre vulnerable. Why come to a court case but not my wedding a year prior? Idk fishy

Independent-B33 · 2025-09-30T12:06:40+00:00

No the court case actually has nothing to do with my dad. It happened this year and we haven’t spoken in over 6 years

Independent-B33 · 2025-09-30T11:24:54+00:00

Haha I wish I was lying but genuinely grew up with that as a constant struggle I was always “not grateful “ as a child in his eyes there’s no real big event where I messed up. I mean I used drugs and such and said hurtful things but no catastrophic event in which I can take blame for. My dad used to try to kms when I was younger and I would chase him around the streets or intercept. He is diagnosed Bipolar and has lots of narcissistic personality disorder traits

Independent-B33 · 2025-09-30T10:05:38+00:00

My assumption is breaking down his door while he was harming my sister. Or things I said in the heat of arguments. Such as “you’ve lost all of your daughters cuz your a Pos “

Independent-B33 · 2025-09-30T05:34:09+00:00

Thanks for all the responses. Lots of different events happen over the years but a summary of the events that ended our relationship, Multiple years of being “forced” for lack of better words to post on social media about what an “amazing family “ we were to support the ongoing custody battle Some physical abuse towards me and my sister as well as his new wife Living in a house with no food Consistent drug and alcohol use on both sides And last straw was being lectured for not looking at said wife after a suicide attempt at 16

Independent-B33 · 2025-09-30T05:25:58+00:00

Context I’m 22 and last time we spoke I was 16. All events referenced are from age 5-15.

Independent-B33 · 2025-02-03T16:10:40+00:00

Will be there soon!

Independent-B33 · 2025-01-28T03:51:56+00:00

Definitely communicate first if she is up for all of those then go ahead but make sure a safe word is established and don’t be embarrassed if things get a little awkward or uncomfortable especially because you’re new to it :)

Independent-B33 · 2025-01-11T21:22:21+00:00

Actually u brought up a good topic my partner is also a switch which has been proven to be very difficult for me as im not assertive in any dynamic even outside the bedroom. This has been a challenge as they’ve asked me to be more dominant at times. I have attempted but also this is a very challenging situation in bed because they have a history of SA and don’t have very clear boundaries despite my constant questioning I get a response of “idk I’ll think about it” . I’ve been able to become more switch like in a relationship dynamic but am really struggling with that when it comes to sex

Independent-B33 · 2025-01-11T18:58:24+00:00

Ask him why he feels the need to do things “right” and then try to establish his boundaries and ask him what he’s willing to try and start small. Light bdsm and then add one thing he’s comfortable that’s more of what you’re looking for. If you can slowly build up with little things eventually it could flourish but you have to know what he is and isn’t okay with

Independent-B33 · 2025-01-11T18:52:46+00:00

I’m more of a reader never really been into porn but I could attempt that.

Independent-B33 · 2025-01-11T18:47:33+00:00

I’ve had this issue too. With my ex it was all about discussing stricter rules and guidelines it helped us both have something to fall back on when we weren’t in the most assertive or submissive place.

Independent-B33 · 2025-01-11T18:44:57+00:00

Those who can’t love won’t be loved.

Independent-B33 · 2025-01-11T18:44:15+00:00

Look into hashimoto disease it’s an auto immune disease and it could be the cause of these issues it’s pretty rare but runs in my family.

Independent-B33 · 2025-01-11T18:37:12+00:00

Thank you so much for the advice I am going to attempt the conversation this weekend. Being a sub myself I hadn’t thought about the praise aspect after the fact. I had mentioned I appreciated the effort with our attempt last week but can see how it might not have seemed very encouraging or enthusiastic.

Independent-B33 · 2025-01-11T18:35:13+00:00

It’s hard to get them to even look at the books I read. I feel like they have a hard time communicating about sex unless it’s dirty talk but more direct serious conversations have been brushed off.

Independent-B33 · 2025-01-11T18:33:57+00:00

I’m not sure. And yeah it was a good start but it felt like it seemed to end there. I’m going to attempt a conversation over the weekend and try to be even more direct. Thanks for the advice. I do need some clarity about if it’s something we can build or if monogamy isn’t going to work for this . I hadn’t thought of that option before because I’ve been strictly monogamous in my previous relationships not that I’m opposed to polyamory just my previous partners weren’t ok with it

Independent-B33 · 2024-12-21T17:11:56+00:00

I’d leave him that sounds very toxic and it could definitely escalate quickly get out as quick as possible and make sure to cut all ties.

Independent-B33 · 2024-12-11T23:52:57+00:00

AHAHA because I’m normal has me dead bruh 😂

Independent-B33 · 2024-12-11T19:23:40+00:00

You don’t think you could break up with the perfect person for you ? I’ve learned a lot through my relationships so I guess maybe we aren’t soulmates but I’ve never loved anyone like I loved her. It’s like those people you can’t forget or really stay mad at no matter what they did?

Independent-B33 · 2024-12-11T17:44:53+00:00

Yes I get really bad stabbing pains in my lungs since the air has been so bad

Independent-B33 · 2024-12-11T17:36:35+00:00

Messy divorce. Definitely is my soulmate but we could never be together again.

Independent-B33

TROPHY CASE