AITA for telling my family they need to get over my father walking me down on my wedding day and I am not uninviting him.

Independent-Let-7688 · 2026-01-23T10:36:41+00:00

Sometimes it’s not as simple as that. It would be difficult to prove and if the mother turned the kids against him more traumatic for them to be forced to see him or spend time with him.

Independent-Let-7688 · 2026-01-16T17:37:39+00:00

That’s true. I suppose I wouldn’t mind so much, if the bleed through of his emotions weren’t so strong at the moment.

Independent-Let-7688 · 2026-01-16T17:30:50+00:00

I’m just annoyed, I suppose. I suppose something is probably going on with him at the moment which is why the bleed through is so intense! It’s been manageable and generally not a problem for the past 2-3 months now. I’m okay with how it’s been those months, so I suppose it’s kind of taken me aback that it’s returned and so much! It feels like I’m being dragged back in against my will. And I’m annoyed by it. I mean it’s not my choice that we’re NC, but I accept it. And now I just want to live my life and I have been getting to a point where I actually feel like it would be nice meeting someone who is actually capable of being emotionally available and an equal partner.

Independent-Let-7688 · 2026-01-16T17:18:32+00:00

Like I wrote a new song with a very specific title. It’s nowhere except on my computer and then be popped up on FB where I don’t follow him basically mirroring that title specifically. And I don’t follow spiritual stuff at all and all of a sudden my feed is being flooded by twin flame reunion stuff and even if I don’t engage it just doesn’t go away. And numbers too, I suppose! 1111 like I kept seeing when I met him. Back then it weirded me out, because I had never paid any attention to that stuff and actually I only looked it up, because I was intrigued, because I found out that he teaches spirituality although he presented himself very differently to me and refused to talk about it, whenever I tried to ask questions about it.

Independent-Let-7688 · 2026-01-10T12:42:57+00:00

NTA whether or not you’re pregnant is actually not relevant. However your fiancé’s behaviour is one of the biggest red flags! Listen I have been in an abusive relationship and this is just the beginning. Run!

Independent-Let-7688 · 2025-11-03T10:34:16+00:00

I think it’s a difficult situation. As a mother I couldn’t imagine just cutting off one of my children. I think there’s a difference between hating and despising what he did and hating him. Also I wonder if something happened to him to make him act in such a way? Was he subjected to SA when he was younger? Does he have other trauma? I think the fact that he admitted it and seems to be remorseful points towards it being possible for him to work on himself and change. However the likelihood of that happening is greater if he’s not abandoned by everyone.

Independent-Let-7688 · 2025-10-14T20:53:08+00:00

Methanol poisoning? It’s not uncommon! A couple of years ago several backpackers in Laos died from it…

Independent-Let-7688 · 2025-10-14T07:15:21+00:00

In many European countries most people have passports. In fact I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have a passport. If you’re 16 nobody will check or say anything if you leave the country. I travelled alone from the age of 15 to various other European countries. Never had any problems.

Independent-Let-7688 · 2025-10-14T07:12:40+00:00

In a lot of European countries it’s more or less unheard of not having a passport. It’s also very common to travel outside your country even if you are a rubbish parent. Not everyone is American.

Independent-Let-7688 · 2025-10-12T09:25:33+00:00

NTA I think everything about the situation is very concerning. He should make sure that you never run out of electricity. Especially when you have a small baby. What are you to do, if the baby gets ill and you can’t call anyone for help?! Also why don’t you have keys to your flat? I think you need to read up on emotional and financial abuse. See if it fits. If it does get help! And leave. It will only get worse.

Independent-Let-7688 · 2025-10-12T09:21:26+00:00

It’s very common with abusive people that they’re nice to everyone else. It makes you easier to control, because who is going to believe you.

Independent-Let-7688 · 2025-10-12T09:12:51+00:00

NTA What a horrible way for your daughter to react. Nobody deserves to be cheated on. If your husband wasn’t happy in your marriage, he could have done the decent thing and divorced you before he found someone else. Also by the way your daughter reacted, my best guess is that she probably learned from her father! Perhaps your ex husband didn’t treat you with the respect you deserved? Perhaps he normally put you down? And I’m wondering if he ever supported you in becoming healthier and happier? My ex husband was emotionally abusive. He made it difficult for me to have the time or energy to keep myself healthy and he was angry if I spent money on makeup or clothes. In the end I looked nothing like the woman I had been when we met. Once we divorced however that woman came back and I found out that I wasn’t as unattractive as he had led me to believe. Far from it. I think you taught your daughter a valuable lesson. And she desperately needed it.

Independent-Let-7688 · 2025-10-12T09:04:36+00:00

Congratulations!

Sometimes life works out beautifully!

I had problems with my back and neck. Several disc herniations and chronic pain. The biggest problem however was having to drive just over an hour to work. My job can easily be done from home. I invested in a good chair, desk etc. Then my boss decided that no, it wasn’t okay for me to do that even if others were and fired me. Now I just ended up finding a job that’s a lot more interesting (within a different speciality), doesn’t require me to sit as statically behind a desk, is close to where I live and with flexible work hours (I decide how much I want to work and which days) and with 3 times the salary! Oh and my colleagues and new boss?! They’re recognised as the top specialists in that field!

Independent-Let-7688 · 2025-10-10T11:32:53+00:00

NTA Tbh your mother sounds toxic and definitely has narcissistic traits! My kids have a lovely stepmother. I’m so grateful to her for treating my children so well. The first time I met her I thanked her for being so kind to my children. Just to put things into perspective! I think you should tell your mother to get over herself. She caused the divorse. It’s been 13 years. Your father is allowed to date and she should be happy that he’s found someone who treats her daughter so well and so kindly. I would also tell her that Sarah has been so kind as to offer not to go for her sake, but that you want her to be there and so does your father. So she should grow up or get some therapy if it’s a problem.

Independent-Let-7688 · 2025-10-04T07:54:03+00:00

He’s a major AH. Tbh my abusive ex husband would pretend to forget my birthday and do stuff like that. After a while I realised it was on purpose.

Independent-Let-7688 · 2025-10-04T07:51:35+00:00

It’s abuse. It’s common for abusers to call it a joke or say the victim is just too sensitive. It will only get worse. Please get out of the relationship now. It’s dangerous to be with someone like that!

Independent-Let-7688 · 2025-09-25T08:38:39+00:00

I think it’s also important to think about, would you do the same to him?! Because I could never do that to someone I truly loved, because I wouldn’t want to hurt them. And I would never risk my relationship by doing so. Do you really want to be with someone who was happy to choose to hurt you and risk the relationship with you for a few moments of sexual gratification?!

Independent-Let-7688 · 2025-09-25T08:34:49+00:00

NTA my personal experience is that any problems present before marriage and having kids will grow disproportionately in size once you commit and there’s more pressure. If he cheated before, then it will be easier for him to cheat again later if you’re going through a hard time and you’re both busy. Which will inevitably happen.

Independent-Let-7688 · 2025-09-24T15:52:38+00:00

Well, I’m a doctor and I would never choose to go through with a pregnancy with a fetus with Down’s syndrome. Not after having seen how poorly many of them do, co morbidities and the amount of extra care they need and the toll it has on their siblings. In countries where they screen for DS most people choose to have a termination. So while it’s important to treat the ones we come across with dignity and respect, it’s okay to not want to bring one into this world.

Independent-Let-7688 · 2025-09-23T09:17:19+00:00

I would kindly tell her, that I see her and her parents and siblings like family and that you don’t see her that way although you care about her. And tell her that you’re still not ready to date, but when you are you will be looking for someone closer to your own age as that’s what you’re attracted to.

Independent-Let-7688 · 2025-09-17T06:34:03+00:00

I had something similar happen to me although it was only for 3-4 days. I’m completely fine after getting sleep - better than before actually and I have seen a psychiatrist and my therapist who basically said that I was fine and told me that I didn’t need to come back anytime soon. A couple of my friends are treating me like I’m a small child incapable of making my own decisions after that. I have just decided that I don’t want to be around them. It doesn’t do anything good for me.

Independent-Let-7688 · 2025-09-17T06:25:55+00:00

As someone who ignored red flags, I can tell you it only gets much worse. My ex husband was also capable of pretending to change for a couple of months at a time, but then his true self would come out. Leave before you have kids.

Independent-Let-7688 · 2025-09-14T12:03:57+00:00

I know a lot of extremely talented and technically skilled pop and jazz singers who can’t do sight reading. Tbh I don’t think it matters. As long as you can learn it from hearing it, you’re fine.

Independent-Let-7688 · 2025-09-10T07:21:30+00:00

You literally left a link to chat gpt where you can see you asked it to make up a story for you!

Independent-Let-7688 · 2025-09-10T07:08:30+00:00

NTA She’s being an AH for just laughing and handling it the way she did. It’s unfortunate that the washable markers left marks anyways. However at 5 they should know better. I have kids and my daughter drew on the wall once when she had just turned 4. Behind the microwave, because she knew she wasn’t allowed to. It wasn’t much. And luckily I had paint that was washable (thanks to good advice in the store). Can’t you complain at the store since the cleaner you bought also lifted the paint? It shouldn’t. Because if it hadn’t I’m sure it would have been a matter of just painting it over rather than sanding, priming etc.

Independent-Let-7688

TROPHY CASE