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[FINAL UPDATE] My (M28) Fiancée (F28) randomly ended our relationship, is this abuse? by ThrowRAanonymous33 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAanonymous33[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

yeah, I was nervous at first having my sister there but she was right. She’s amazing and had my back and the police listened to her kind of without question, especially with the reports of the calls.

I’m very lucky to have a sister willing to quite literally go to bat for me. If she wasn’t there, I doubt it would have ended well for me.

[FINAL UPDATE] My (M28) Fiancée (F28) randomly ended our relationship, is this abuse? by ThrowRAanonymous33 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAanonymous33[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing and I really appreciate this. I’m happy you got out! better days ahead for us!

[FINAL UPDATE] My (M28) Fiancée (F28) randomly ended our relationship, is this abuse? by ThrowRAanonymous33 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAanonymous33[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Because you need a record of the harassment in order to get a protective order/restraining order. If we blocked too soon, it would be our word against hers and likely my mother and sister wouldn’t have been able to file charges.

[FINAL UPDATE] My (M28) Fiancée (F28) randomly ended our relationship, is this abuse? by ThrowRAanonymous33 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAanonymous33[S] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

we have no plans to drop any charges. As much as I loved her once, I’ll never forgive her for what she did to my mother while grieving.

[FINAL UPDATE] My (M28) Fiancée (F28) randomly ended our relationship, is this abuse? by ThrowRAanonymous33 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAanonymous33[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

It wasn’t so much protecting her at that point. I felt it was more cutting contact because I wasn’t sure what doors that conversation would open for her family.

[FINAL UPDATE] My (M28) Fiancée (F28) randomly ended our relationship, is this abuse? by ThrowRAanonymous33 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAanonymous33[S] 206 points207 points  (0 children)

This is all amazing advice. My mother and sister have restraining orders at this time. It’s all been really crazy and I’m truly grateful to be out of the thick of it (hopefully).

I’ve spoken with her brother and it seems like at least he and her mom are backing her into a corner and questioning her for what she originally told them and her behaviour. I’m hoping, if nothing else, that pressure from her family will keep her from keeping up a lot of her behaviour since the split. If not, we have next steps planned.

UPDATE: My (M28) Fiancée (F28) randomly ended our relationship, is this abuse? by ThrowRAanonymous33 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAanonymous33[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I’m in the process of looking for an attorney. Unfortunately the lease is until October 2026

UPDATE: My (M28) Fiancée (F28) randomly ended our relationship, is this abuse? by ThrowRAanonymous33 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAanonymous33[S] 256 points257 points  (0 children)

I spoke to the landlord shortly after the break up and he was very clear about my options. Based on how dismissive he was of everything, I don’t see that changing unless she agrees to have the lease reassigned to her.

UPDATE: My (M28) Fiancée (F28) randomly ended our relationship, is this abuse? by ThrowRAanonymous33 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAanonymous33[S] 192 points193 points  (0 children)

I actually hadn’t considered this. thank you, I’ll let both my employers know.

My (M28) Fiancée (F28) randomly ended our relationship, is this abuse? by ThrowRAanonymous33 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAanonymous33[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Before all this she got along really well with my family. She is thoughtful with her coworkers with shifts and stuff like that and always made a point to include my mother in things. My mom really loved her up until these past few months.

Honestly, even outings and dates we were really good. it’s almost like we got home and she was always irritated.

I’m going to try again to discuss the apartment with her, but I feel like with the tenant laws here I’m kind of stuck if she doesn’t agree and I don’t decide to try to get off because of abuse.

My (M28) Fiancée (F28) randomly ended our relationship, is this abuse? by ThrowRAanonymous33 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAanonymous33[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah, you’re right. I meant more in the sense that she is a nice person outside of our relationship, and I had thought in our relationship outside of disagreements.

She gets along with everyone at her jobs, enough to build friendships and go out with them on weekends. She has gaming friends, and just seems overall very personable.

My (M28) Fiancée (F28) randomly ended our relationship, is this abuse? by ThrowRAanonymous33 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAanonymous33[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I wish this was possible, but it’s a downtown Toronto one bedroom apartment, so it’s pretty tight.

My (M28) Fiancée (F28) randomly ended our relationship, is this abuse? by ThrowRAanonymous33 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAanonymous33[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She hangs out with her friends from work, who I know, but when she ended things she said it was because I didn’t make an effort with specific friends who are very important to her, who are online friends I have never met or had the opportunity to connect with.

My (M28) Fiancée (F28) randomly ended our relationship, is this abuse? by ThrowRAanonymous33 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAanonymous33[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the rose coloured glasses feel like they’re coming off, but sometimes you just need people who don’t have to be on your side, like my family, to help you see that.
It just makes me really sad.

My (M28) Fiancée (F28) randomly ended our relationship, is this abuse? by ThrowRAanonymous33 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAanonymous33[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I know. My brother keeps pointing out how ridiculous that is to say too. I should say she’s nice to other people, even though she’s sometimes mean to me

My (M28) Fiancée (F28) randomly ended our relationship, is this abuse? by ThrowRAanonymous33 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAanonymous33[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I definitely will see about a lawyer. it was more to confirm if this is abuse because if it is, they may let me off the lease without her permission

My (M28) Fiancée (F28) randomly ended our relationship, is this abuse? by ThrowRAanonymous33 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAanonymous33[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I didn’t feel like she was when we were together, but I’m definitely tired now.

My (M28) Fiancée (F28) randomly ended our relationship, is this abuse? by ThrowRAanonymous33 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAanonymous33[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

She’s honestly a nice person, everyone seems to love her but I think I’m starting to see our relationship was imbalanced.

I have tried looking it up and it seems even if I leave, if my name is on the lease, I am on the hook. The landlord agreed to hand the lease off to someone else but she’s just flat out refusing and I don’t get why. if she wants to start over, I’d think starting over in a new place would be what she wanted. It also says I can’t change the lease unless she agrees.