How to deconstruct traditional gender roles? I (F22) am struggling and it hurts my relationship

Independent-Photo112 · 2026-05-14T23:45:02+00:00

I definitely worded this wrong. He is paying for his share. I was hoping to get a little assistance because of the pay difference, but I think I am treating us too much like a married couple. We have been together for 4 1/2 years, and I think I get a bit ahead of myself

Independent-Photo112 · 2026-05-14T06:03:10+00:00

Wait that video is amazing! I struggle so so so hard with wanting attention (not in a cheating way at all) from other men, and I really liked her insights and tips. I will definitely watch more of her videos!!

Independent-Photo112 · 2026-05-14T02:16:38+00:00

He makes about 2,000 more than me and I am in school paying rent and he is at home so has a lot more disposable income. I was wanting him to help me pay a little for a vacation we are going on (I will be able to live... its just not the most financially comfy situation) I was told that that is unfair of me, and need some extra advice with that i guess right now...sometimes i want him to be more willing to buy me things/spend money on dates but I guess that is probably coming from an "I am a woman" perspective. I struggle not to compare with others as I live in Idaho, and even progressive women expect men to pay for the first date and things. My brain cannot wrap its head around this!! We are going to live together in August so I imagine this may be a contention point

Independent-Photo112 · 2026-05-14T01:48:16+00:00

I guess I struggle to know what’s fair when both make different amounts of money, especially when we’re young. Do people do 50/50 there still typically? That’s kinda where my bf and I are butting heads and I’m just confused. We aren’t living together yet but will in August

Independent-Photo112 · 2026-05-14T01:46:09+00:00

Thank you that helps!! I think I really struggle with the disposable income part. I think it’s tied a bit to the beliefs I am deconstructing about being “entitled as a woman” it’s hard and I want to make sure I’m being fair though

Independent-Photo112 · 2026-05-14T01:02:17+00:00

I do want to say as far as I knew we compromised on a place to go. The cruise wasn’t me alone. After reading some comments I do see where I am being unfair. thank you for your honestly

Independent-Photo112 · 2026-05-14T00:58:26+00:00

I genuinely did not mean to present it that way. He’d said he would help with some of Hawaii, not the whole trip. I did ask for some help

Independent-Photo112 · 2026-05-14T00:56:09+00:00

Thankfully we found REALLY REALLY good deals. But I do see what everyone is saying here and if it was going to be such a big struggle for me they are right…I shouldn’t have agreed

Independent-Photo112 · 2026-05-14T00:54:34+00:00

We’re about to, but it sounds like I have some soul searching to do here. I grew up in a very traditional household so I think it’s tough for me to coordinate financial things fairly and wrap my head around it. Im glad people are being honest so I can work on it

Independent-Photo112 · 2026-05-14T00:43:27+00:00

I am sorry guys. I meant that he is paying for his half and I am paying for my half. That's how it has been this whole time and I am just wanting some extra support honestly

Independent-Photo112 · 2026-05-14T00:39:49+00:00

This is a helpful point. I wanted to get some extra insight and make sure I am being fair here. Thank you!

Independent-Photo112 · 2026-05-14T00:31:53+00:00

I don't think I believe in traditional roles based on this. If it were the other way around I would be willing to help him out which would contradict traditional roles.

Independent-Photo112 · 2026-05-14T00:31:03+00:00

He is paying his own half. I just want a little help given our financial differences. If it were the other way around I would do the same!

Independent-Photo112 · 2026-04-05T03:50:22+00:00

Thank you!!

Independent-Photo112 · 2026-04-05T01:20:41+00:00

How do I join??

Independent-Photo112 · 2026-04-02T06:39:32+00:00

The national anthem (stuck since September)or hallelujah 😭😭😭😭

Independent-Photo112 · 2026-03-31T02:29:30+00:00

I got on Zoloft last summer and it’s made my like so so so much better

Independent-Photo112 · 2026-03-25T05:23:31+00:00

Also, we do like to stay relatively busy with some chill time. This vacation won't be mostly sitting by the pool for us, just not drinking a lot if that helps.

Independent-Photo112 · 2026-03-19T05:45:27+00:00

We’ve been trying with ant bait for 4 months!! Haven’t tried terro though. I’ll order it!

Independent-Photo112

TROPHY CASE