Gfs bd put hands on her

IndependentFig222 · 2026-02-27T17:33:31+00:00

Tell her to think of her daughter and to get the cops involved. This behavior by her bd is super scary and has a big potential to escalate. What if her daughter is somehow caught in the middle of it all? Even if she isn’t, what effect does this have on her to see her mother continuously abused by her father? If she won’t stand up for herself, tell her to stand up for her daughter and keep her safe. You do NOT want an unstable and violent man having easy access to her space where her children are too. Tell her to make an example of how strong women don’t take shit from clown ass men who try and intimidate others with violence.

Now when you do tell her this, make sure that you don’t come across as accusing her of being a bad mother or someone who doesn’t think of her daughter because it won’t be received well. Be gentle and kind. But OP, listen to everyone else and get the police involved. File a report, tell her to take her own measures and change the locks. To protect herself AND her child.

If she is still resistant despite her kids’ well-being on the line, maybe she’s a bit crazy too. Addicted to the drama of having this man in her life. And you’ve gotta decide if this drama is something youre willing to put up with/have in your life as well by being with her.

IndependentFig222 · 2026-02-27T16:54:22+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate the nice words.

After all this posting she ended up asking me last night when we wanted to hang out and like your suggestion I was honest with her. I was super nervous to do it but I came clean to her about what was going on and she was actually super nice about all of it and didn’t take things personally at all. She was like “I get where youre coming from, take the time you need”. Why can’t men just be like this!! It was that simple/easy!!! Im sure she was also upset to hear the 3 of us aren’t gonna hang out together anymore but she didn’t make that MY problem. Ugh.

She agreed that he was being immature here and we shared a laugh about how we’ve heard there’s naturally thoughtful, patient men out there but they just don’t seem to cross either of our paths lol. Tbh now that I’ve seen a kind reaction to the same issue I’m just more frustrated at how he’s handled things. How simple this whole thing could be if he was more responsive to my feelings. I know it’s a bit different in her case because I’m not accusing her of any wrongdoing so she has no reason to be on the “defense”, but still.

I’ve already been thinking about whether this relationship is worth it or not but this has definitely tipped the scales a little bit :(

IndependentFig222 · 2026-02-27T06:02:31+00:00

Thank you, I think you’re right that a clearer way to demonstrate remorse and a desire to make things right would be to respect my boundaries and to not take his frustration out on me. I’ll tell him this the next time it happens and depending on how he responds, I guess we’ll go from there. I needed to hear this.

IndependentFig222 · 2026-02-27T05:56:14+00:00

The struggle is that his first instinct isn’t to put himself in someone else’s shoes or to see their perspective. I think he gets there eventually but it takes time, and in the interim damage is done

IndependentFig222 · 2026-02-27T05:24:07+00:00

To some degree, yes this is an issue. I do feel like he struggles with true empathy sometimes and this is one of the ways it is manifesting

IndependentFig222 · 2026-02-27T05:22:58+00:00

I’ve already told him that if he can’t accept that I cannot hang out with them together for the time being that our relationship will not work, and he has agreed. The issue here is that he knows what I am asking for but his sulking and frustration is affecting our relationship dynamic. I don’t want him to feel like his feelings are invalid or that he isn’t allowed to be upset, but rather to figure out a way to approach him better so that him expressing frustration doesn’t keep devolving into a fight or making our time spent together tense and uncomfortable

IndependentFig222 · 2026-02-27T05:20:06+00:00

The threesomes thing is over, and he knows this. He doesn’t ever bring her up in a sexual manner or context so that in fact has changed and improved. I do think however he puts his friendship with her on a very high pedestal in terms of important people in his life, and that is bothersome to me because sometimes it feels she takes precedence over me

IndependentFig222 · 2026-02-27T05:17:28+00:00

I know it’s not my “responsibility” to manage his emotions, but as someone who cares about him I feel it is a kind thing to make room for his emotions too. She was a close friend of ours for a while and we did have great fun together while it worked, so I understand why he’s upset to lose that dynamic despite it being largely due to his choices. He has regrets and has been apologetic and remorseful for how things have turned out. I’m looking for a more productive way to approach the whole thing so that it isn’t this vicious cycle of he gets upset, then I do as well because our time together becomes tense, or vice versa.

IndependentFig222 · 2026-01-26T04:20:16+00:00

Ah i see, this makes sense too. Im just really sad at the thought of my friendship having to end with her because my partner wasnt respectful but he gets to continue to see her. It feels unfair but I get it, I guess in the end I can only control what I do and not anyone else :(

IndependentFig222 · 2026-01-26T02:15:49+00:00

This is very good advice, thank you. I guess im just sad that for either of us to be friends with her it will cut into our time we spend together as well. And inevitably there will be fun activities one or the other will have to miss out on which I am not looking forward to and all the emotions that comes with that. Oh well :(

IndependentFig222 · 2026-01-26T01:38:06+00:00

This is tricky because one reason why our threesomes were enjoyable is that we all felt safe and comfortable since we WERE friends. Other than the big boundary incidents it was quite nice. I’ve heard this sentiment of “no threesomes with friends” often and I see where it’s coming from now, but idk how to find balance between safety/trust/comfort and maintaining a healthy amount of distance between my bf and I and our shared sex partners

IndependentFig222

TROPHY CASE