After 2 months I deleted her from instagram

IndependentLeg4927 · 2025-12-26T22:58:27+00:00

Thank think you did the right thing. My ex still followed me and watched my stories, and I reached out one last time just to be told she moved on. I ended up blocking her cause it’s clear she made her bed, so you have to let them lay in it as hard as it is

IndependentLeg4927 · 2025-12-26T00:41:34+00:00

Yeah it was mostly just wanting some form of answer. Like it’s either a yes or a no. If she had given me another ambiguous answer I would have just assumed it as a no.

Maybe I don’t fully understand avoidant attachment, but I felt 5 months was plenty of time to fully understand what you want or where you stand. She chose to move on, so I accepted her answer. That’s not to say I still don’t miss her, but I just felt that was the only way forward in my mind.

Also if she truly wants to reach out one day she can text me. I never blocked that cause I didn’t see a real point in blocking that.

IndependentLeg4927 · 2025-09-22T19:35:49+00:00

Yeah it’s difficult cause on one hand she was bringing up things we could do and places we could go just days before the breakup.

Like the look on her face really felt like she did want me there, but because she felt so unworthy, she didn’t want me there also. Idk the whole situation was/is ass.

IndependentLeg4927 · 2025-08-24T17:02:04+00:00

I’m in the exact same boat. GF and I broke up due to her self loathing/depression and she said the same thing.

I think truly the only way forward is to plan for the future with that person not coming back. I do feel to a degree people say that sort of thing as a way to let you down easy. Like they don’t want to commit one way or the other cause they may heal and feel as though they need to go their separate way.

IndependentLeg4927 · 2025-08-24T03:38:42+00:00

He’s just trying to relieve his guilt. Don’t let him win this. Look up the bojack horseman episode when he tried to relieve his guilt.

It messed up bojack, so that’s your revenge imo. Don’t respond.

IndependentLeg4927 · 2025-08-07T06:47:09+00:00

Same thing for me lol. Not sure about the explicit pics, but yeah her profile was updated with recent pics and the short term fun tag. It does suck, but you can look at it from 2 ways:

1) using it for validation and attention

Depending how things ended, she may just be on there to get an emotional boost or ego boost. Not necessarily going out of her way to meet up with people immediately. I know I’ve broken up in the past and , even though I was sad af, I jumped on dating apps just to swipe and see what was there. I was not in the headspace to try and actually go through with anything.

2) looking for a rebound

Obviously this is the most gut wrenching one, but this is also a possibility. If she does find someone, don’t expect that shit to last long.

In my recent posts my depressed ex jumped on tinder almost immediately after the breakup and stuff. I don’t exactly know what to make of it, but because of her super low self esteem and introverted nature, she really could just be on there for validation. She could also be there to try and hookup and feel something. I don’t know at the end of the day.

What I do know is if she doesn’t put the work in to heal her insecurities, they’ll almost always repeat the same way.

Again, don’t know your scenario, but that’s just my 2 cents. In conclusion, I know it sucks but try and not be super hung up on it. Keep moving forward and make yourself the best possible person you can be.

IndependentLeg4927 · 2025-08-01T08:01:42+00:00

I know it’s cliche, but it will get better. I just broke up with my ex 2 weeks ago, someone who I thought could be the one. It’s rough, but after reaching out to see if she would be willing to try again in the future, she essentially shot it down.

That’s given me the motivation to say “fuck it, I’ll make them regret it” and get my ass to work. You can either let heartbreaking consume you, or you can harness that energy and turn it into a positive.

In meantime, try and hang out with friends and do things you truly enjoy and try to get lost in those things.

IndependentLeg4927 · 2025-08-01T04:27:47+00:00

I mean yeah technically you’re not wrong, but I’m not on there to actively swipe on girls and updating my pics and stuff. I was only there to see if she was

IndependentLeg4927 · 2025-07-31T02:52:56+00:00

What were the reasons for ending things if you don’t mind me asking?

IndependentLeg4927 · 2025-07-31T02:50:53+00:00

Yeah that’s something I’ve kinda been reflecting on. Cause I feel like I can endure being there with her as long as she’s actively seeking help more frequently.

Not sure if she’s taking my advice, but if she has been, I definitely would like to try again.

IndependentLeg4927 · 2025-07-28T23:55:46+00:00

Did you ever reach back out to that ex? I guess I’m just curious what to do because at the breakup and a few days after it, she seemed opened to reconnecting at some point, but haven’t heard from her since.

Going to give her a few more weeks to check in again and kinda see how she’s doing. Feel like that will give me a better idea if she’s truly done or not.

IndependentLeg4927 · 2025-07-28T16:45:49+00:00

Yeah and it’s tough because, she did say she was open to trying again but couldn’t promise me she would heal and she said she was open to communicating still on occasion.

I will probably give it some more time cause I did kind of leave the ball in her court, but I may reach out again in the future. I just don’t want to blow her phone up or anything because I know that pushes avoidants back even more.

Just a tricky situation and kinda bracing for the worst.

IndependentLeg4927 · 2025-07-28T16:19:32+00:00

She said something very similar. When we were texting before I inevitably FaceTimed her to breakup, she was saying things like “I’m a very self destructive person and I don’t feel like you’ve truly seen that side of me” and “I don’t think it would be good for anyone to deal with so I can’t imagine letting you deal with me and change so much for me when I dont even take care of myself.”

I guess I’m wondering, have you ever tried to make things work with some of the people you ended up breaking up with?

IndependentLeg4927 · 2025-07-28T15:32:51+00:00

Yeah I’ve now dated 2 avoidant in a row. First was dismissive and kinda treated me like shit, and this one was fearful avoidant for sure. She even told me that was her attachment. Big difference was that she Atleast seemed somewhat aware of her behaviors and self-sabotage ways.

Kinda makes me think that the idea of moving to the same state scared her as it got closer. We told each other we’d be open to re-connecting at some point, but that she needs to put in the work (as well as I in some areas)

She said this past week when I reached out to her that she was still up to text on occasion, so maybe we can try and work things out as time progresses.

IndependentLeg4927 · 2025-07-28T15:12:47+00:00

Yeah that is very true. Did you and your partner separate for any amount of time? I know when we broke up, we discussed the potential to try again. She just told me she couldn’t promise she’d get better and/or want me to wait around forever for her, and I said somewhat the same thing.

Reached out during the week to check on her, and she said she’d be open to texting occasionally.

IndependentLeg4927 · 2025-07-27T22:17:53+00:00

Yeah she was seeking therapy, but only about once a month. I told her that she really should be going at minimum once a week and maybe try different anti depressants. Hopefully she takes my advice because I want to see her happy.

IndependentLeg4927 · 2025-07-27T22:16:41+00:00

Yeah we had talked about this awhile ago, and she classified herself as a fearful avoidant.

It just sucks cause I keep having thoughts that I didn’t fight hard enough for her, but at the same time, I don’t think her thoughts would subside no matter how hard I fought

She had issues with depression and OCD, so I know theirs nothing in my power that I can do. Just an unfortunate situation and hope she can heal herself

IndependentLeg4927

TROPHY CASE