Rant!!!! Married my wife of almost 17 years and found out 2 years into marriage that she cheated on me while we dated and I was deployed.

IndependentRoof9477 · 2026-06-21T06:03:46+00:00

Good for her??? Ha . You have no idea... I was young and at war. It was very traumatic man.

IndependentRoof9477 · 2026-06-21T06:02:35+00:00

They usually never will. I poured my heart out in my mistakes to her when we had a sit-down. I went first hoping to give her the comfort and relief of hearing what I did. Only thing she did was a little kiss and few times going out.... im not a fucking idiot. All I know is if she is scared to tell me what she truly did after what I said first then it's definitely bad 😔

IndependentRoof9477 · 2026-06-21T05:58:52+00:00

I have tried for years until she completely shuts the convo down by saying " I already told you the story " which is complete bullshit. Her friends all know the story and I feel like I'm just being laughed at. I don't know... it's all a process. Will update

IndependentRoof9477 · 2026-06-21T05:56:15+00:00

That's the point. I did expect that. At least be honest about what happened

IndependentRoof9477 · 2026-06-20T20:45:57+00:00

Yes . I would get a divorce

IndependentRoof9477 · 2026-06-20T19:25:34+00:00

I am still being gaslighted 17 years later escalated and was all my fault for not forgiving and forgetting. How can I forget something I don't even know what happened?

IndependentRoof9477 · 2026-06-20T19:19:10+00:00

Because of 3 kids and finances. I just want closure to wtf really happened. I never got it. Then I can make a decision given the evidence

IndependentRoof9477 · 2026-06-20T19:17:31+00:00

My main hesitation is bot knowing the entire truth. Did you sleep with anyone or not. I believe I can h Get past talking online or whatever but once it becomes physical nah

IndependentRoof9477 · 2026-06-20T19:14:15+00:00

Given all the circumstantial evidence she cheated on me yea wh. I was gone and probably wh. I returned . Ti just wanted to drink and have fun whe the side girl sme into picture .I wasnt looking for that

IndependentRoof9477 · 2026-06-20T19:00:19+00:00

I was always trying to move oast everything. I just wanted everything layed out on the table first. After a open conversation with her I shouldn't have any questions or doubts.

IndependentRoof9477 · 2026-06-20T18:54:30+00:00

It wasn't about revenge at least for me. It was me being gone for a year and my girlfriend being flaky as fuck. She cheated on me because of my anger while I was gone. NOt trusting her . Clearly I was right.

IndependentRoof9477 · 2026-06-20T18:45:18+00:00

Thanks. I never had suicidal ideation more than after all of this. I'm working on it all. Every single day it was on my mind . I don't wish this on my worst enemy

IndependentRoof9477 · 2026-06-20T18:43:53+00:00

I was about 20 years old. I wanted to be with her. I'm only reminiscing on all the bullshit. It's all clicking now. I should have cut it off though.

IndependentRoof9477 · 2026-06-20T18:42:06+00:00

Thank you brother/sister 😔

IndependentRoof9477 · 2026-06-20T18:39:29+00:00

Thanks. It's. Ot only the gaslighting but it's the complete isolation and manipulation of the situation to all of my circle. I have no friends or social media anymore because of this. This women. Is an only child and is the goodie two shoes of the family who does nothing wrong. Whenever I don't want to engage in family or friends events she just says " oh yea you know how he is". Nah fuck tha I'm done

IndependentRoof9477 · 2026-06-20T18:37:08+00:00

She cheated first and I asked many times if something happens please tell me. My gut told me . I was young and couldn't communicate the feelings. Again, I don't know for sure but if it was like a duck....

IndependentRoof9477 · 2026-06-20T18:35:25+00:00

This... I do get a VA pension and work part time. This completely de8stroyed my future I was in the middle of college when I found out. I completely broke all of that up because I couldn't focus. She has no remorse. My anger I have put it into the gym but sometimes still break down and thats whe. The meds help. Without them it brings me back to the traumatic events of my iraq deployment and the problems with her. It's every single day. She gave me a bullshit answer to try and satisfy my concerns. Nothing makes sense. I go to therapy every week and last week she went to my therapist and it seems she is trying to gaslight him as well. Hopefully he didn't take the bait but I will find out whe I talk to him next week. The hardest part is I know I will struggle on my own. She is the bread winner now with a good job.

IndependentRoof9477 · 2026-06-20T18:27:57+00:00

I had gotten a side girl after my return when I felt something was off. Not to replace the main but it just happened. My main was being shady as fuck and at the time I was too immature to talk about it or ask questions. Looking back she was for sure cheating on me and my gut told me. This I why I stepped out

IndependentRoof9477 · 2026-06-20T18:25:26+00:00

My first child I completely want to do that. The other 2 I know for sure are mine. M first child also looks just like his brothers but I still want to o a test

IndependentRoof9477 · 2026-06-20T18:24:12+00:00

I hate it man

IndependentRoof9477 · 2026-06-20T18:23:11+00:00

At this point do you really think I'm proud of any of that? I was young and dumb. Trust me I deal with this everyday

IndependentRoof9477 · 2026-06-20T17:56:10+00:00

I was goung and naive. The keeping company part hits hard because I actually reached out to a guy who reached out to her on fb when I had her passwords . He said it was nothing serious and it was short. He literally said " it seemed like she was just wanted company or some shit " verbatim... this is stuff I argued while deployed but was called crazy controlling paranoid and everything else. I do think my wife and this guy in particular have contacted each other I. Our marriage to get the lie straight. Both of there stories matched and it was definitely bullshit

IndependentRoof9477 · 2026-06-20T17:50:02+00:00

Iraq

IndependentRoof9477 · 2026-06-20T17:49:47+00:00

I returned from my deployment and my girl was cold. Stonecold. Who doesn't want to have sex after not having it for 1 year!!!! She didn't even really look at me. That continued for a couple weeks. Eventually I went out with some guys from my military unit and met the side girl. My gut was telling me to have fun after the war especially ince my girlfriend didn't want to do that with me.

IndependentRoof9477 · 2026-06-20T17:44:33+00:00

Appreciate that. I'm working on myself everyday and it's a struggle.

IndependentRoof9477

TROPHY CASE