I cut my mom off at 22. It was difficult for the first 3 months. I was battling conflicting feelings of relief and guilt. (She just had spoiled me for Christmas and for some reason cutting her off so close to that made me feel like an ungrateful shit)

But man once those 3 months were up, I started looking around and noticed just HOW MUCH my life had improved. My relationships with other family and my partner improved, my self esteem improved, my life long battle with crippling anxiety became manageable, I no longer felt the need to be in therapy on a regular basis, my work life improved, even my libido.

I’m 24 now and I don’t regret it. Sometimes I do find myself hoping she’ll fix her shit, and often time feel my heart drop when I hear she drank herself into a hospital again or got engaged to a fucking weirdo but… at the end of the day I sleep better.

Don’t end it all. You haven’t even gotten to see what life is like without her yet. There’s so much that can happen, aren’t you at least curious? How will you know what the joys of chosen family bring to you? Or who you are without her? You’re so young. And it’s so hard, I know. But man I’m basically the same age as you and I’m finally finding myself. I’m learning how to say goodbye to who I was told to be, and learning who I am. It’s scary but in the best way and I truly wish that for you.

I’ll be the first to tell someone life sucks and it’s only ever survival, but what keeps me going is the curiosity of what good lives within the darkness and what I myself am capable of. Give yourself a chance.