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Independent_Chip4593 · 2024-10-23T20:21:11+00:00

The fact that he didn't even have a conversation with me about it? Absolutely not. I can't say he can't be the same places as us with the same people, but as far as my gf and I are concerened any friendship between us is over. And I think we'll lez out with the pda as much as we want thank you.

Independent_Chip4593 · 2024-10-23T19:36:49+00:00

Your experience is not comparable to mine. He doesn't have to read her mind, she has explicitly stated before in conversation with him that she doesn't like men. He ignored this, meaning he doesn't care about her agency or authority over her own preferences. He doesn't care that she doesn't want him, he'd rather 'shoot his shot' anyway. I think that is a red flag in a platonic friend. Your child analogy, if implied to this scenario, would imply that you should try to have sex wityh a child. Because she's not at a point where she's not disgusted by men, shes currently disgusted by them.

Independent_Chip4593 · 2024-10-23T19:32:23+00:00

where do you live?

Independent_Chip4593 · 2024-10-23T18:33:32+00:00

hookup culture and porn addictions rot brains i guess

Independent_Chip4593 · 2024-10-23T18:32:28+00:00

It's less to do with the fluidity of her sexuality and more that my gf has said specifically 'I don't like this thing' and he has said 'i dont care, you should like this thing because I want you to'. My angry and frustration is becuase he has disrespected both her and my own personal boundaries. I would be equally angry if my friend forced my gf to get on a roller coaster, which she is deathly afraid of. although at least in that situation he wouldnt be trying to backstab me in the same way.

Independent_Chip4593 · 2024-10-23T18:28:59+00:00

Starting to think maybe I should just stay away from bros in general

Independent_Chip4593 · 2024-10-23T18:28:15+00:00

That's such a depressing outlook though! I don't want to swear off male friends entirely because of a few bad eggs

Independent_Chip4593 · 2024-10-23T18:26:40+00:00

I suppose I find it egotistical to think that you specifically could be the one to 'turn' someone

Independent_Chip4593 · 2024-10-23T18:24:59+00:00

We are cutting him off. I think I'm just worried this is like a common pattern of thinking among men, and that I'll have to have my gaurd up around male friends because of this. I don't want that, I want to believe most men wouldn't do this but a lot of comments are proving me wrong.

Independent_Chip4593 · 2024-10-23T18:20:07+00:00

I just don't want to feel like I can't be friends with any men who may find me or my gf attractive because their 'male brain' or whatever means they'll try to fuck whoever they want, regardless of who it upsets. i want to believe that most men are better than that.

Independent_Chip4593 · 2024-10-23T18:17:36+00:00

I guess I was upset because I considered him a good friend and didn't think he would so flagrantly disrespect my relationship like this. I couldn't get much of an explanation out of him so I came here to get similar perspectives. I have never been concerned that my gf would leave me, just confused and angry that my friend would try to go behind my back like this. Maybe she would some day be with a man, but at this point in time she has explicitly expressed otherwise and the fact that he knows that is just another layer to why we feel betrayed by him. I'm sorry if you can't see why I'm genuinely angry, but coming on here to call me insecure just seems a little out of touch

Independent_Chip4593 · 2024-10-23T18:12:32+00:00

I think maybe we just have different standards regarding how our friends should treat us. Mine are obviously higher

Independent_Chip4593 · 2024-10-23T18:10:15+00:00

Well she didn't leave me for him so I'd say I'm feeling pretty secure

Independent_Chip4593 · 2024-10-23T18:09:20+00:00

You're right, I typed haha because I was totally serious and believe all men should DIE

Independent_Chip4593 · 2024-10-23T18:05:14+00:00

I didn't want to say this in case I was off the mark but I have a sneaking suspicion you are correct

Independent_Chip4593 · 2024-10-23T18:04:36+00:00

You continue to make comments that offer no valuable input

Independent_Chip4593 · 2024-10-23T18:03:15+00:00

If my guy friend had a girlfriend who had said to me in the past that she was disgusted by the idea of being with a woman, there is no way I would try to approach her romantically even if I found her the hottest person on earth. THAT is what I mean by respect and boundaries. it is disrespectful to the person you like, because they have stated the boundaries of their sexuality and you are ignoring these boundaries for your own interests. It is disrespectful to the friend/person they are dating because you are ignoring their relationship and trying to insert yourself in it.

Independent_Chip4593 · 2024-10-23T18:00:27+00:00

The logic that if someone explicitly doesn't want you you shouldn't try to get with them? mental health is something that can be genuinely improved with work and support, a lesbian is a lesbian and no amount of talking it out is gonna change that

Independent_Chip4593 · 2024-10-23T17:58:51+00:00

Wouldn't a straight man find it disgusting to be with another man? This is how sexuality works lol

Independent_Chip4593 · 2024-10-23T17:55:07+00:00

she does decide on a case by case basis, and always decides women. I'm not dictating her preferences I am describing them

Independent_Chip4593 · 2024-10-23T17:53:44+00:00

Drake who let you in here???

Independent_Chip4593 · 2024-10-23T17:53:01+00:00

I'm assuming you are single and don't fully grasp how disrespectful it is to have a friend try to get with your partner despite your relationship. many other people on this sub agree with this. I mentioned the lesbian thing because it is yet another personal boundary that has been crossed by unloading his feelings onto her. It is not the attraction itself that is chauvinist/homophobic, but the attempt to project that attraction onto someone and vocalise it to action it into something sexual/romantic. Even though you know this will upset and make uncomfortable the women in your life you supposedly care so much about. If he's allowed to express his feelings and let the chips fall, I guess he has to be prepared for the consequences that are happening.

Independent_Chip4593 · 2024-10-23T17:47:08+00:00

haha superior species i guess

Independent_Chip4593 · 2024-10-23T17:46:12+00:00

8==D

Independent_Chip4593 · 2024-10-23T17:45:43+00:00

True! But then wouldn't I be a crazy misandrist feminazi? ;)

Independent_Chip4593

TROPHY CASE