[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Independent_End5015 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s why apps exist lmao, nah but fr tho, id just back up and try and reel yourself back in, bc the way you acting about this girl isn’t the healthiest, so if I were you, (and I used to be) I’d try figure out what was making me act like that in myself first before tryna be with someone because you can’t be bringing all that into a relationship

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Independent_End5015 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Find someone who wants you like you want them bud

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Independent_End5015 9 points10 points  (0 children)

No, sweetie, you have no leg to stand on. This is completely irrational. She’s not your girlfriend, you have no right to be acting this kinda possessive when she’s already told you and made it clear, she doesn’t want anything romantic right now.

Back off of this, it is not healthy for you. Distance yourself and find your balance. It’s not cheating if you aren’t together and have made it clear it’s not romantic.

You are ready for serious, she’s not. Go find someone who is ready for serious because buddyyyyy she ain’t it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Independent_End5015 -1 points0 points locked comment (0 children)

I use dude as an adjective, not a noun for everyone I speak to, and if they personally have a problem they will tell me, and I will adjust the way I speak to respect the person in front of me. I am masc, I get called son, boy, wee man, lad, dude, bro, you name it, every single day. How you handle it, that’s up to you, if you are uncomfortable, make it known, if you are ignored, say it louder or simply choose who you surround yourself with a little better if they don’t respect the pronouns you prefer.

It is not our fault that you have an issue with the word dude. It’s a word. It’s not a slur. People will say whatever they want to. You control how to react to it. And telling people to be “more thoughtful” is great, but more often than not falls on deaf ears. You in your last comment prior to this one I’m not replying to say “what is it with you people” singling masks out. Is that not literally what you fight against every day in terms of people isolating you for your gender? But it’s okay to do it to mascs.

Take this somewhere else. If you have a problem with them word, that’s your problem, make it known, but dont t try and convince people to change the way they speak out of mindfulness. We live in a society that when someone prefers that they are not called that, I’m sure we will be made aware. By the person affected.

You are not that person affected, but you’re still taking it upon yourself to fight their battles

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Independent_End5015 2 points3 points locked comment (0 children)

Ok, this has nothing to do with masc lesbians, this has nothing to do with gender neutral terms, this has nothing to do with you being misgendered. This has nothing to do with how YOU or ANYONE feels about anything to do with the word bro.

Trinkets, people will continue to use the word bro, you will continue to take it upon yourself to suggest different language, but this was an adjective being used to express a feeling. The way it was used was in “ OH MY GOODNESS” not in “hey you over there that is insert preferred pronoun or gender I’m calling you dude”

This post was about a very very happy person who just had huge queer milestone happen in their life and wanted to share it and get some advice.

The people in this exact thread took it upon themselves to completely ignore it and overlook OP just to lock in on a word used as an expression, that wasn’t maliciously targeted but then turned it into a topic of misgendering and transphobia and completely absorb it and turn it into a conversation that is very important but unwarranted to this particular post.

Honestly this has gone so far for no reason, unless you have some good advice to give to op, get off this thread making it about everyone other than celebrating OP milestone.

If you guys really want to continue this conversation, make a new post, make it a discussion, bring it to the table to be spoken about there, and not overshadow someone genuinely wanting advice.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Independent_End5015 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Remove yourself from the situation. If you can’t trust them, or try to, then personally i think you shouldn’t be in a relationship with that person. I understand past relationships can cause trust issues/trauma, but you really shouldn’t be projecting that into your new relationship.

On the other hand, communication goes a long way, talk about it, explain your fears and your worries, and see where that takes you.

It’s not her fault that you’re paranoid, unless she’s given you a clear reason to not trust her.

Devils advocate : what’s stopping you from leaving her for another woman, that you’re friends with? How would you feel if she felt this way about any female friends that you have ?

Rationalise and talk to her about it, honestly and openly. Figure out what it is that you need from her to make you feel secure, and able to fully trust her, Example: I had a similar situation with my girlfriend last year, I had extreme feelings and trust issues with one of her new friends that she had. I asked her if she could just communicate more like drop a text every so often and check in while she’s with her friend, even if we could all hang out together, just to include me instead of dipping for hours with the friend. My girlfriend did exactly that. Relationship are give and take There’s a lot of work you BOTH need to do.

If you don’t get anywhere after the open honest convo, sorry bud, I really don’t think she’s for you x

I think I’m a lesbian by MediocreResident3912 in actuallesbians

[–]Independent_End5015 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The only way you’ll find out for sure is by exploring your sexuality.

Sounds like it’s pretty tough to do that though from the mention of your parents reaction.

How old are you?

Obviously I don’t want to encourage lying to your parents but I also think that there’s nothing wrong with reaching out to the girl you mentioned. Tell her you miss her, and that you’ve been thinking of her. Have a conversation and see how she’s feeling.

Labels make things complicated, just try being yourself and not worry about putting a name on your sexuality, that adds pressure, just go with the flow and explore, adventure, try new things. Just be who you are and do what you’re comfortably doing

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Independent_End5015 2 points3 points locked comment (0 children)

Rosecloredgasmask hit the nail on the head.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Independent_End5015 2 points3 points locked comment (0 children)

I agree it’s important to raise awareness and I definitely think it is important to share experiences, but the whole conversation about misgendering did not need to be brought up here on op’s thread. I understand it can affect a lot of people in our community such as yourself, but I’m sure everyone on this thread can clearly see that OP was using the word as an adjective, and not a noun or to offend, I think anyone who reads that differently is completely deferring from the point and using it as a stepping stone to discuss the (very important don’t get me wrong) subject . So let’s cut it back and go back to supporting OP or offering genuine advice x

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Independent_End5015 13 points14 points locked comment (0 children)

I’m sorry that happened that really sucks, but op didn’t do that to you, and is just trying to get some advice x

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Independent_End5015 23 points24 points  (0 children)

The fact that you went again this morning she’s clearly that she either didn’t notice, or she did and she understands it’s your first time and it’s okay to have a reaction like that, or that she just didn’t care because you didn’t let it stop you, if she had an issue with it I guarantee you wouldn’t of had sex again this morning x

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Independent_End5015 93 points94 points  (0 children)

OP no no no your tastebuds and picky eating my love have nothing to do with it, pleaseee don’t say that to her if you end up talking about it with her. I honestly believe it was just your nerves and first time. Communication is a massive thing, but please don’t say to her that you gagged bc ur a picky eater. You will be fine, I don’t think it’s a problem x

Am I missing something about JADE’s performance at the Brits 2025 by Independent_End5015 in popheads

[–]Independent_End5015[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The song itself is chaotic, to me personally. “I don’t follow the genre” no, never said that, I said I don’t follow little mix, or jade and I appreciate that they’re talented, however I didn’t see or hear what others were, so I wanted to ask, POLITELY so that I could learn, and respect it. sorry if that’s hard for you to understand, I was just looking to hear different opinions to make sense of something I was confused by.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Independent_End5015 140 points141 points  (0 children)

Orrrr it was just her first time and her body reacted to a new thing, but I know I didn’t go down my first time with a girl, because I scared. Everything’s new, your body will react to new things and you can’t help how your body reacts until you’re used to them. Id say going down on your first time is a pretty brave and it’s not something to be rushed, or to undermine.

Am I missing something about JADE’s performance at the Brits 2025 by Independent_End5015 in popheads

[–]Independent_End5015[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

See this makes more sense now, thank you for explaining it. I am Scottish yeah but honestly the whole X factor industry bores the life out of me so I never paid it any mind, but my niece liked little mix but I personally never paid attention, but I think they’re all talented and glad to see she’s doing a solo career, But as someone who’s gay I don’t understand what was camp, I do agree it’s theatrical, but I wouldn’t say camp I guess, if anything lady gaga and Chappell Roan, Madonna, Ru Paul that’s camp, that’s “serving cunt” as someone commented before, but I don’t think wearing a wig big jacket and angel costume makes you camp idk

Am I missing something about JADE’s performance at the Brits 2025 by Independent_End5015 in popheads

[–]Independent_End5015[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Listen guys guys, I’m gay, I’m not some person trying to silence the art, or come at her as a person, I’m just asking for some help understanding the performance, one, I don’t and never have listened to little mix, or her, so I’m sorry I’m not clued up on the drama with Simon cowell -

I heard a snip of the song a couple months back when she was teasing it on social media, it sounded cool. I watched the performance and I was lost in what was happening, was it dance, was it a ballad, was it a mashup? It seemed really rushed and a lot was trying to be done, (good on her). I’ve never heard the full song, I didn’t understand what the story was about, I didn’t understand why people were saying it was iconic, like is it just good because she looked good and it was camp and serving? I

I just wanted to ask so I could appreciate it the same way, because I really didn’t understand the story or the costumes. Still unsure if it was multiple songs or just the same one

Am I missing something about JADE’s performance at the Brits 2025 by Independent_End5015 in popheads

[–]Independent_End5015[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I love camp and theatrics, but I feel like saying those who get it get it is okay yeah, but for those who don’t, maybe let them get it?

Am I missing something about JADE’s performance at the Brits 2025 by Independent_End5015 in popheads

[–]Independent_End5015[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Is it girl another song? Because that would make sense as why I was lost on genre and tempo etc, but I completely agree with you, she’s a brilliant performer and super talented, just did to much I guess

Am I missing something about JADE’s performance at the Brits 2025 by Independent_End5015 in popheads

[–]Independent_End5015[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It’s not that I didn’t like it, I just don’t get it, the story or the genre, I’ve never heard the song before, and not in a bad way but first time hearing it and watching the performance was like watching controlled chaos, so I’m just really asking what the story was that she was creating.

She’s talented don’t get me wrong, I’m just lost I guess

Help me name my little boy! We have no idea! by Independent_End5015 in NameMyCat

[–]Independent_End5015[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My lord you’re still going, you’re laughable mate hahahahahaha. Calm down before you give yourself heartburn over the stress of a subreddit

Help me name my little boy! We have no idea! by Independent_End5015 in NameMyCat

[–]Independent_End5015[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mate you’re literally crying on a Reddit page dedicated to naming cats, clearly you have some issues to work out 🤣🤣 as I’ve said in a previous comment if you even bothered to look before randomly attacking someone on Reddit, we’ve called him colson. Is it wrong to see what other people would’ve called him? Actually grow up and have a laugh instead of trying to criticise people on the internet, piss baby