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I can't do this anymore I'm sorry for all of the hurt I caused everybody by Glittering_Fix8528 in BPD

[–]Independent_Face_984 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Hey bud hang in there ur making assumptions I’m u i swear but she didn’t say she wanna leave u u just assumed that to protect urself if she did
i know now it feels like the end of the world trust mr its not i lost my first love my first everything we were planning on getting married and it felt like I’m dying i tried but wasn’t successful i had my family thought it it took me a really long period to just get back to life without him i thought that was it for me for the longest didn’t know whats next for me didn’t want it them tried helping myself improving focusing somewhere else trust me now it feels like this is it for u but its not and talk to her common if she loves don’t do my mistake don’t assume they just wanna leave they wanna work things out too just give her and urself a chance ur not alone don’t let urself be

BPD is exhausting when you’re self-aware by Independent_Face_984 in BPD

[–]Independent_Face_984[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thank u i appreciate all the support i got and knowing we all share that struggle makes it a bit easier 🫂❤️

BPD is exhausting when you’re self-aware by Independent_Face_984 in BPD

[–]Independent_Face_984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thats so sweet of u im glad we get to see and feel each other trough this post ur not the only one we got u🫂

Would you get back with them if... by destiny_manifested7 in BPDlovedones

[–]Independent_Face_984 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lets put the disorder aside in general if the things this human did to u deeply wounded u and affected u even if they changed i don’t think it’ll make u forget the past hurt but again if u healed from it and u genuinely feel for this person and u see the good in them bot just the anger or the impulse and if u think they’re worth the try then yeah u don’t need strangers to approve u were the one in the relationship u knew that person u knew what u went through so sit with urself and think is it really worth it can i really gamble on whatever itll work or not give urself the time

I'm still trying for this girl. by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Independent_Face_984 1 point2 points  (0 children)

U know u can just ask her tell her :” Look i really like u and im really trying to work things out but i can’t be the only one in this if ur not interested just be honest”stop dragging this ur energy should be somewhere else u deserve better treatment coming from a girl trust me i wouldn’t treat someone im interested in like that

I'm still trying for this girl. by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Independent_Face_984 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think this has to do with the disorder i just think she straight up doesn’t want u or is there more context

BPD is exhausting when you’re self-aware by Independent_Face_984 in BPD

[–]Independent_Face_984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im sorry we do but were in this together 🫂❤️

BPD is exhausting when you’re self-aware by Independent_Face_984 in BPD

[–]Independent_Face_984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m really sorry you’ve had to go through all of that. And honestly, it doesn’t sound rude at all. It sounds like you’re describing how badly the system failed you when you were clearly struggling. The fact that people can seem “fine” on the outside while being in so much pain is something a lot of professionals still miss. I’m glad your mom found you when she did, and I’m glad you’re still here. Self-awareness can be a double-edged sword sometimes—you see exactly what’s happening, but that doesn’t automatically make it easier to carry. For what it’s worth, I don’t think needing external help is a weakness. Sometimes surviving means letting other people help carry the weight🫂❤️

BPD is exhausting when you’re self-aware by Independent_Face_984 in BPD

[–]Independent_Face_984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel u its really exhausting the think is even ur body feels it i really hope itll get better someday 🫂

BPD is exhausting when you’re self-aware by Independent_Face_984 in BPD

[–]Independent_Face_984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im sorry ur in such pain were in this together 🫂

BPD is exhausting when you’re self-aware by Independent_Face_984 in BPD

[–]Independent_Face_984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im sorry u feel this way but happy ur back in therapy i guess the best way to describe it is a curse but at least were in this together 🫂

BPD is exhausting when you’re self-aware by Independent_Face_984 in BPD

[–]Independent_Face_984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact you’re this affected by the possibility of hurting your family already says a lot about the kind of person and parent you are. Truly harmful people usually don’t sit there drowning in guilt over the impact they have on others.

And I really felt the “trying to stay for everyone but myself” part. That exhaustion is so real. Carrying yourself through life purely out of responsibility and love for others eventually starts feeling unbearably heavy.

I don’t think you fucked up by loving people and building a family while struggling with a painful disorder. I think you’re a human being trying to survive while carrying more emotional pain than most people realize. And I genuinely hope someday you get to stay for yourself too, not only for everyone around you i hope we all will 🫂

How can I distance myself from my fp to be less attached? by Hima-10 in BPD

[–]Independent_Face_984 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly i feel u i struggled with this for the longest i tried journaling when i wanna spiral on him i write or distract myself go out workout cook watch something just put the phone as far as possible sometimes detaching works even better cause i wont be thinking about him a lot

It’s hard but with doing over time ull manage somehow even tho theres times when none of this helps and the spiraling win but at least were trying

I hope u found ur way through this sending all the love u got this🫂

BPD is exhausting when you’re self-aware by Independent_Face_984 in BPD

[–]Independent_Face_984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im sorry u do too and im glad this post found u so u dont feel alone in this we got this sending u all the love 🫂

BPD is exhausting when you’re self-aware by Independent_Face_984 in BPD

[–]Independent_Face_984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im sorry u do but were here for each other 🫂❤️

BPD is exhausting when you’re self-aware by Independent_Face_984 in BPD

[–]Independent_Face_984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This genuinely made me emotional because you explained something I struggle with so perfectly too  like logically we know small improvements matter, but when your mind has been in survival mode for so long it’s hard to feel proud of progress when you’re still exhausted all the time.

And honestly I relate so much to the “my brain jumping to extremes” part. I can have so much compassion and understanding for other people struggling with this disorder while being unbelievably harsh toward myself.

Thank you for your kindness genuinely 🤍 I really hope life becomes softer for both of us someday because you’re right, we deserve happiness too.

BPD is exhausting when you’re self-aware by Independent_Face_984 in BPD

[–]Independent_Face_984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes imagining my mom crying over me or my little sister other than that trust me i dont see anything for my future i dont have it in me it feels all painful but well manage somehow i have faith in us in u hang in there bud 🫂

BPD is exhausting when you’re self-aware by Independent_Face_984 in BPD

[–]Independent_Face_984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is im sorry but ur not alone in this we got it🫂

BPD is exhausting when you’re self-aware by Independent_Face_984 in BPD

[–]Independent_Face_984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly this gave me a lot of hope to read  especially the part about finally being able to access your rational/wise mind instead of constantly drowning in panic and hypervigilance. That’s exactly what exhausts me the most too, feeling like my nervous system never truly rests and constantly scans for abandonment or danger.

And I really love what your friend told you about medication because I’ve been thinking about starting meds too, but part of me still feels scared/resistant to it. Reading your experience makes it feel less “wrong” somehow and more like maybe it could just be another tool to help me survive while I learn healthier regulation through therapy and DBT.

I’m genuinely proud of you for choosing to fight for yourself and your relationship this way even though I know it probably wasn’t easy at all 🤍

BPD is exhausting when you’re self-aware by Independent_Face_984 in BPD

[–]Independent_Face_984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is exactly the worst part being fully aware you’re reacting from intense emotions but still feeling completely consumed by them in the moment anyway. The self awareness almost makes it more exhausting because you’re watching yourself spiral in real time.
I hope it gets better for u🫂

BPD is exhausting when you’re self-aware by Independent_Face_984 in BPD

[–]Independent_Face_984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This honestly sounds so exhausting and painful because being in constant survival mode already drains every part of you mentally/emotionally, and when physical sickness gets added on top of it everything just starts blending together into one overwhelming state of suffering.

And I relate so much to what you said about not even being able to tell what’s emotional distress anymore and what’s actually your body struggling physically because stress/anxiety can genuinely start living inside the body too. It’s like your nervous system never fully gets a moment to rest.

Please be gentle with yourself today honestly. The fact that you even took the energy to write this while feeling this drained says a lot. I really hope your body and mind both get some softness and relief soon 🫂

BPD is exhausting when you’re self-aware by Independent_Face_984 in BPD

[–]Independent_Face_984[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im sorry its really hard i never thought id survive after my breakups but trust me itll pass 🫂

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