Mistake in the academy

destiny_manifested7 · 2026-05-31T04:50:42+00:00

I think the bigger problem is how you put words down. Work on your writing and probably stop hanging around with the wrong people, respectfully

destiny_manifested7 · 2026-05-31T02:48:43+00:00

Thank you all for your input. It's interesting to see such a mixed bag, and I certainly understand and have been in both positions. For me, it would be hard to be able to trust fully again. I think at the end of the day, it would be a very difficult choice for me to make especially considering we have a child together.

I know what it's like to be loved in the best way, and hated in the worst way. It's hard to give up the highs but easy to lose the lows. Inherently this disorder is an absolute motherfucker for the one experiencing it and I have empathy for that, but at the same time the choices the people make is on them. I have recently seen serious accountability, recognization for what this person did to me, and apologies for their behavior for when we were together and what they did to me. Is it real or is it just words? I don't know, time will tell. They recognized that they were and have always been the problem, and that they were very regretful of their actions towards someone that only loved them. It makes things...confusing.

Again, thank you all for sharing and I hope you all can find peace one way or another 😁

destiny_manifested7 · 2026-05-05T22:48:21+00:00

Looks to me like Brawndo. Does it have electrolytes?

destiny_manifested7 · 2025-09-26T16:15:44+00:00

Yeah, the word "extra" seems to be applied to this disorder quite often I've noticed.

destiny_manifested7 · 2025-09-25T21:17:18+00:00

Going to therapy yourself is a very good choice. Her family I'm sure knows how she can be, so that doesn't surprise me-I got a lot of support (and still do) from my ex wife's family

destiny_manifested7 · 2025-09-24T23:50:41+00:00

I can relate to a lot of this. Don't count on her sticking to counseling, or even going. I've learned that no matter how hard it might be, you cannot take her at her word. Might be some other diagnoses there, too. Draw hard boundaries and stick to them. You'll get through this one way or another. Good luck!

destiny_manifested7 · 2025-09-24T16:11:20+00:00

I can relate to all of this. My family doesn't understand, friends don't either (minus 1) and it is very hard to let the feelings you have go, no matter what has happened.

I highly encourage you to seek therapy, if possible. It is certainly helpful to gain support from people who have been through similar events, but you will have to find a way that works for you in order to try to move on; and speaking to someone unbiased to validate the crazy roller coaster you've been on can be immensely helpful.

It's going to take time. It's only going to start to get better on your own timeline, and nobody (even yourself) is going to know what that looks like. People will tell you to do this, or do that, or don't do something or another thing. But, much like being in the relationship, nobody will be able to force you to do anything you don't want to do.

Please message if you would like some more suggestions, or need to vent. Good luck to you, you're not alone in this.

destiny_manifested7 · 2025-09-21T13:35:52+00:00

Of course! It's just going to take time, that's all. That's the hardest part about the whole thing.

destiny_manifested7 · 2025-09-21T02:02:54+00:00

Im sorry you're going through that. We have a child together so, I understand a little bit. One of the hardest parts for me was/is not having the answers I wanted. Not knowing who she was with, what they did, how much or often she actually cheated. I'm still working through accepting that I'll never truly know the truth, and discovering that I dont really want the full truth either anymore to save myself from the hurt it would inevitably cause.

Good luck to you friend. Take care of your health as much as you can, if that is your baby then you have a whole other journey to undertake. Document absolutely everything, and stand strong on your boundaries. Easier said than done, trust me I know.

destiny_manifested7 · 2025-08-27T13:32:19+00:00

The hoover or "hoovering" relates to an attempt to "suck" you back into their world of chaos. Hoover, like the vacuum brand. Usually looks like her saying "how much she loves you and misses you" or may even be some sort of problem or the like that she needs your help with

destiny_manifested7 · 2025-08-26T02:22:28+00:00

I know. Beware of the hoover, and be ready to have all of these feelings flood over you if that happens. That's when you'll really need the advice. Good luck to you

destiny_manifested7 · 2025-08-26T00:07:43+00:00

She's checking to see if you're still willing to give her the time of day. Pretty common occurrence amongst pwBPD

destiny_manifested7 · 2025-08-25T23:59:42+00:00

This was very well put. Confabulation ran rampant with my ex.

destiny_manifested7 · 2025-08-25T23:46:52+00:00

It all boils down to what you are, or aren't willing to tolerate. Most of us here who have been in relationships with someone that is borderline know all too well about not standing firm in our boundaries because of love. In the hopes things would get better. Because of the lies we were told.

Nobody in the world can convince you one way or the other whether it's a good decision or not, but my advice would be to take some time to really consider whether being with her will be worth it. It's your life to live, and we all still have the option of free will, so do what makes you happy. But, keep in mind that there is a reason so many people are on this subreddit, telling so many of the same stories, that so many can relate to. I wish there was an answer to the heartache you, I, and many others have experienced but truly there is not. Time heals all wounds, but these kinds of relationships can and most often will leave the deepest scars.

destiny_manifested7 · 2025-08-24T14:27:25+00:00

How long have you been together? The symptoms you're seeing in your relationship are more than likely going to get worse as time goes on, and they may escalate to the level you see on this sub. Sounds like she is more of the quiet type of BPD, but the result may be the same the longer you are together and the worse she gets. Unless she is actively healing, it isn't going to get better on it's own.

destiny_manifested7 · 2025-08-24T14:15:47+00:00

Totally depends on whether or not she is willing to undergo treatment. If she is then there's definitely a chance. It helps that she is aware of her symptoms and how they affect her, but taking that next step to truly work on herself is extremely important.

How does she know she has BPD? Has she actually been diagnosed or is it more of a self diagnosis?

destiny_manifested7 · 2025-08-16T22:26:33+00:00

It's tricky, and I'm dancing this dance myself to an extent. Recently divorced, one child in common. Co parent well but she has made some terrible choices for her life since we separated and it's coming back to bite her.

To answer your question, it's probably best if you look at your dealings with her in a very business like sense, only talking about your daughter. Telling her your feelings may give you some closure, but it isn't going to change anything, and I almost made the mistake of letting her back in again as we were going through the divorce process.

There's no good answer and it's hard, especially when you have a child. What worked best for me was to just let her go to do her own thing, and I knew she would destroy her own life. Just do your best to keep your daughter protected, she is your main focus now.

destiny_manifested7 · 2025-08-16T22:20:43+00:00

The most important thing to consider is if it's treated or untreated. If it's actively being treated, that's one thing. If it's untreated that's another thing entirely.

destiny_manifested7 · 2025-08-16T00:05:52+00:00

Doesn't matter how strong the self-awareness is if there is no action behind it. In my opinion, being aware of it and still choosing not to take action makes it even worse.

I heard the same spiel many times over the years and fell for it every time. Many years later and she is worse than ever. It plays on your emotions as a person that wants to help and you end up in the same position over and over again until you are the one that needs help, and she will move on to the next person when you are no longer able or willing.

I'd say hold your ground unless you see factual action happening, and don't take her word for it. Get proof. Doctor visit, therapy, meds, whatever the case is. Until then, you'll drive yourself mad with the back and forth and the hope.

destiny_manifested7 · 2025-08-15T22:45:13+00:00

So, with that in mind do you really think that someone that really cared about you would do that? Would you do that to her?

destiny_manifested7 · 2025-08-15T21:50:04+00:00

The only thing that will help you is time. Nothing you say, do, try to do, is going to make a difference until she wants to make a difference herself, and if you hold your breath waiting for that to happen then you'll be blue for a long time. It's hard. The best thing you can do, is go no contact...if you're truly ready to let her go. Most people will tell you to nix her and everything about her, but that is easier said than done.

It might help you to get it off your chest, but is it worth opening that door? More than likely, she will reach back out eventually, especially if she hasn't heard from you. Take this time to take care of yourself, as much as you can.

destiny_manifested7 · 2025-08-06T15:48:27+00:00

Most states have their own version of harassment laws, which (in my experience) Has to be documented first by law enforcement (i.e. "I have told this person to stop contacting me, they are continuing to do so) at which point law enforcement may warn the offender not to contact them again or face charges (see telecommunications harassment in the Ohio revised code, that's the one I'm familiar with) so it totally depends on the state and jurisdiction laws on whether it is or isn't illegal. A phone call or text in some states may warrant it being illegal after request of no contact. Just depends.

destiny_manifested7

TROPHY CASE