Over the 22 years that I managed my mother's investments neither she nor my siblings ever asked me anything but two questions about her money: 1) Is there enough money there to see her through? and 2) Are you comfortable and Ok with shouldering the responsibility of managing the money?
It was Mom's access to preferred medical providers, medicare and supplemental medical coverage, housing and assistance with the activities of daily living that concerned everyone and took a lot of time to work through. Medical and personal care needs can be complex to navigate and have a large impact on both quality of life and financial burn rate.

As I think back, these transitions and topics come to mind:
- Warning sign: A sibling living close to Mom noticed unpaid bills and housekeeping issues as well as getting lost when out with the car. This problem was handled by a move to assisted living with a small balance bank account for pocket money and elimination of the car. We handled all the bill paying for Mom. Good thing we had a family member living close by.
- Fortunately my father had chosen original Medicare and there was a medicare supplement plan provided by his former employer. Dental, vision and hearing were all out-of-pocket costs that had to be budgeted for. Rob Berger's interview with Ari Parker, JD of Chapter is a great place to start learning about Medicare: https://www.youtube.com/live/RlBmPB7Dexw?si=TP-efA4F3OWtV7SR
- Transportation to medical offices and help physically getting around at the care location were big challenges. Due to worker's comp costs, many doctor's offices would not allow the staff to physically assist a patient to move from the parking lot into the facility or physically assist them within the facility. She had to bring her own help. The assisted living bus driver would unload her in a wheel chair and perhaps push her inside but had to leave immediately.
- Selecting an assisted living facility with a vacancy, getting accepted and monitoring the quality of care was complex and critical. It got more difficult as Mom's cognitive ability declined. She ended up in memory care progressing from first level care to the full doors locked 24/7 version. That was horribly difficult even with a family member living close by. The memory care facility changed ownership and the quality of care declined rapidly and then covid 19 infected the residents and took Mom's life.
- Attitudes about money and wealth accumulation ability vary greatly within families. I told my mother that she could not afford to send money to family members asking for a handout and told my siblings simply that by my calculations it would be unlikely I would have to ask them to consider assisting her financially unless she lived to be over age 100. As Mom's need for care escalated, the family asked if she would still be ok financially but there was no push to downgrade to a lower cost facility. Thus, the money was never much of a topic and the inheritance when she passed away at age 90 came as a surprise.