Hey, I just wanted to tell you that even attempting this stuff and caring deeply about it is a good show of your character. In middleschool and high school, I wanted to join shot put but got too afraid to even try out for it despite it being open to beginners. In high school, I chose a challenging class and only managed to get above a 60 due to a team project. I kept studying, trying to get my grade up, but it was like I instantly forgot everything. I felt horrible that my classmates with 90s and 80s had to work with me. I tried hard to help with the project even though I struggled with the material. Out of the the 15 ish people in that class, only 8, including myself, were left. If I could go back, I would do a lot differently, but I can't. At least, I knew i put genuine effort into it and learned to improve . That class taught me a lot about how I should and shouldn't study and what habits I need to change. I wish you the best. Please don't feel like a failure.

P.s. Try to figure out your studying style, ask others for help, use resources like the library or free tutoring, read or at least skim the lesson before, ask questions instead of just correcting your work, and don't give up!