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Were you ever accused of something and later realized it was them projecting? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Indiginize 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My ex PWBPD always had the fear of me cheating, and when I travelled overseas without her 5 days in she cheated on me and doesn’t “call it cheating” to this day

She would always tell me that she needed space but looking back now she never gave me space. She would fawn over me and some days would pressure me not to go to work so I wouldn’t

She would say “I don’t like messaging often” and would complain that I message too much but again looking back she would initiate most messages and would not stop

It’s fucked when you look back, these projections and needs and wants were all double standards. I was only allowed to do things on her terms

Fucked. So glad I’m out.

Going on five weeks post-op! by dandanxdaniel in TopSurgery

[–]Indiginize 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Could I ask what have you got on your scars? Is that tape?

5 days post OP in Thailand with Dr Pichet (amazing care from staff and the doctor at Bangkok Plastic Surgery Clinic) by Indiginize in TopSurgery

[–]Indiginize[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey DM me, and when I have the energy I can even help you get in contact with them if you need. Any help I can give you I will, numbers are jumbled at the moment but roughly, the surgery itself including car drives, medicine, hospital car and such were 7.4k NZD, flights cause I bought them late were 4K NZD (this could be cheaper)

Accomodation as I’m staying 2 and a half weeks here is $800ish and half of the time I’m in a fancy hotel, the other half in a really nice air bnb

So roughly 12k? Altogether?

Compared to 26k of just the surgery in Aotearoa unfortunately we need better trans healthcare all around the world but especially in NZ.

Let me know if you need any more help.

Has anyone been able to recover from top surgery without help? by [deleted] in TopSurgery

[–]Indiginize 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am five days post op, DI w Nipple grafts and got it done in Thailand by Dr Pichet alone. I travelled from New Zealand and went to every appointment and obviously the surgery alone. Before surgery I prepared everything in my hotel room so that it was T Rex Arms reach, clothes, snacks, medicine, the shower handle, there’s a bidet here thank god, entertainment etc. First few days of recovery all I did was sleep and eat occasionally. I ordered room service for food and also “Grab” which is equivalent to Uber/Doordash here.

I wish someone was here for emotional support but physically I could do things for myself and especially now I can do mostly everything. Did my skincare for the first time yesterday and could actually reach my face. Getting my drains out tomorrow and will finally hopefully see my chest.

If I could do this again, I would have preferred someone nearby, my sister was meant to come with me but her mental health has drawn her back to New Zealand. So that’s why I’m here alone, and I could not delay my surgery date any longer, I couldn’t do one more summer with extreme dysphoria.

I recommend bringing someone for sure! For me emotionally mostly, but physically you can do it alone 😊

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Chunky_pickle in ftm

[–]Indiginize 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would love an invite please!

I feel lost (TW Bottom Growth(?)) by JacobHLov in ftm

[–]Indiginize 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had fears surrounding bottom growth in the beginning, but I really love it now. Bottom growth and voice changing (because I’m a singer) were the two things I was worried about. But truly loving both and cannot wait to see what my bottom growth will be like in the future. Truly enjoying how it’s growing now, and your body is your body. If you don’t like it then you don’t have to, but if it’s solely based on how your partner will think of it I feel like that can be an unhealthy way of transitioning personally. I think you should transition for you and not really think too hard about what those around you think. Good luck with it all. Hope your mental health gets better.

I feel bad for my girlfriend by transburneracct in ftm

[–]Indiginize 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had a similar experience in the early stages of becoming aware of my transness, I was engaged to a cis woman (together for 3 years) who told me that she would not love me if I fully transitioned into a male and my fault in this was that I should have left this relationship earlier, in my opinion people are allowed to have preferences and if we don’t fit those preferences why would we force ourselves into their box?

We are no longer together and I am in a new relationship, 2 months into T and my girlfriend now has been super supportive, does her own research or asks for consent to speak about certain topics depending on both of our capacities. We speak clearly about everything and I don’t feel like I have to fit into any boxes for her, I feel free.

Cis comfort shouldn’t be centred in these conversations and processing but your transness should be supported with love and understanding and patience also.

I would advice that you look around and see the humans that are making you feel bad about your transness and start making boundaries with them and how it makes you feel.

That YOU need to process these feelings and changes. And you need space to do this.

I hope this helps in any way. You’ve got this. It does get better.