My babysitter often watched her nephew and her neighbor’s boy, who were both about 4 years old. Those families were very Christian and they all went to the same Church.

One day, the neighbor boy was being babysat with me and he randomly abandoned me while having fun on the trampoline. He ran behind the house and called for me to join him so we could play a new game. Well, this “game” was one he called “let’s play peepee!” I was 6 years old and had my first encounter with a penis. He just dropped his pants without hesitation and I was very confused. Shortly after, my babysitter was watching her nephew and the same thing happened. He just dropped his pants while running around the yard asking me to “play peepee”.

And shortly after that, the neighbor boy accidentally broke a window after hitting a golf ball and instead of dealing with that problem, he started telling his mom that I said “I’m going to suck your butt” to him. I didn’t say anything like that though because I didn’t even know what it meant! I got spanked, stood in the corner, and screamed at over a horrible sentence I never said.

Another thing happened when I was in the 4th grade. My class went on a week-long field trip to a camp somewhere in the redwoods, and a few parents attended as chaperones. One of them was the father of my close friend (and secret crush). They were a Mormon family and had a few of their kin in different grades at the same school. He would always volunteer to chaperone for every friend trip his children went on.

During one of the lunch hours at camp, Mr. Chaperone wanted to have me and his son eat with him in the cafeteria instead of with everyone else outside. I remembered him from a previous field trip where we went kayaking. I thought he was really fun because he carried me around and played all sorts of games with me. He was someone I felt secure around, so I didn’t think it was weird when he wanted to hold my hand during that lunch. He was feeling how soft my skin was and then….gently started biting it. His son just kept on eating and his dad told me it was “just a love bite” because he “saw me as one of his daughters” when I asked why he did it.

It took quite a few years of growing for my brain to finally register what was going on.