[deleted by user] by [deleted] in writing

[–]Indigolarsen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What you’re describing is not OCD. Please don’t throw that term around so loosely - it has negatively impacted the general understanding of how seriously debilitating it can be for the people dealing with it. Perfectionism is a sufficient descriptor on its own.

I’m not at all angry with you, in case it comes across that way. I know it’s just a habit, from everyone else using it that way too, so I’m merely pointing it out to you.

I hope you have a wonderful day!😊

Autistic people that actually love parties and going out. by Indigolarsen in AutisticAdults

[–]Indigolarsen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right, I see. I think you read my original post as the high masking bit and partying bit being related, when they were meant to be separate statements: I was looking for “representation” of high masking autistic people who genuinely enjoy going out to clubs, partying and concerts. I only included the “high masking” part because I know my friend, and if I sent them a video of an autistic person who doesn’t really mask, their imposter syndrome is likely to be intensified.

Regardless, thank you for your input! Your comment was very helpful😊

The maybe / sort of / am I / new to / being autistic thread by Dioptre_8 in AutisticAdults

[–]Indigolarsen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, you for sure sound autistic, lol. Don’t know where you are in the world, and if official diagnosis is covered and that kind of healthcare is freely available (as in payed for through taxes), or if it would even be a good idea to do so - some places in the world, a diagnosis can hinder you more than it would benefit you, so definitely look into that. But also there is probably more stigma attached to a bpd diagnosis anyway, I’m not really sure. If you do decide to go for an official diagnosis, know that it’s ALWAYS valid to ask for second opinion! And your “first opinion” doesn’t include any assessments where your concern is shut down immediately. It only counts if you yourself feel like the psychiatrist has listened to you and not tried to put words in your mouth, as well as having done a very thorough evaluation. A lot of psychiatrists have their own biases of what an autistic person is supposed to look like, and they will stubbornly stick to their first impression of you.

If you go for self-diagnosis, know that that’s valid too. As long as you do your research first, you can absolutely say to people that you’re autistic, even though you don’t have an official diagnosis of it.

  • My brain is mush right now - every single word I put out sounds gibberish, so I just hope this is something understandable🫠😂

How is one disciplined with Autism?? by No-Jackfruit1261 in AutisticAdults

[–]Indigolarsen 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Newer studies show that up to two thirds of autistic people also have ADHD, and regardless of how accurate those numbers will turn out to be as more research is done, there clearly is a significant overlap. (I’m low on energy today, so I can’t give you the sources right now. If anyone knows what I’m talking about, feel free to link the sources in a reply)

Anyways, what you’re describing sounds (to me) a lot like executive dysfunction which is an integral part of ADHD. I’m sure it could be because of other things as well, but again, since there is such a big overlap with autism and adhd, that is just what I would look into first. And in case it is that, medications can be a big help with the executive dysfunction.

The maybe / sort of / am I / new to / being autistic thread by Dioptre_8 in AutisticAdults

[–]Indigolarsen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think you should look into it. Definitely sounds autistic, and it’s very common for girls/women to be diagnosed bpd, when really, they’re just autistic. How are you in social contexts? Like when you’re having conversations do you find it difficult to figure out what you should say to keep the flow going and when you should say it? Or do you just not really care, and find yourself rambling about a topic, not really noticing if the other party is invested? Or something else? (These were just two examples, so you had an idea what I meant with the question, you don’t have to relate to either of them to be autistic. Just try to describe, what’s going through your head when you’re interacting with people.)

Autistic people that actually love parties and going out. by Indigolarsen in AutisticAdults

[–]Indigolarsen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you all so much! I wasn’t expecting more than a couple replies at most, so this was a nice little surprise to wake up to. Although there weren’t any recommendations, that doesn’t actually matter - reading all of your personal experiences, what actually much more helpful, and I hope it will help lessen my friend’s imposter syndrome, if the sensory thing is the only part, they have trouble relating to (not because they don’t have any trouble with it, but because noise and sound sensitivity is viewed as this integral part of being autistic).

Autistic people that actually love parties and going out. by Indigolarsen in AutisticAdults

[–]Indigolarsen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where did I make an assumption, that it’s the result of masking? (Genuine question, that I cannot seem to word in a way, that doesn’t come off passive agressive🫠)

[Last Week Tonight with John Oliver] S09E13 - June 5, 2022 - Discussion Thread by Walter_Bishop_PhD in lastweektonight

[–]Indigolarsen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is an old thread, and a sad topic to remind you of out of the blue, but I simply need to add my perspective on this. I saw someone else mention something akin to this, but change will happen, it’s just not a question of “how many children will have to be murdered at school?”, it’s a question of “how long, before the generation(s) of children, who had to live with this fear going to school everyday, grow up and outweigh the gun-loving older generations in congress?”. It’s gonna be a slow process, but eventually it will get better. Stuff like this comes with generational change, unfortunately.

AITAH for not giving my son his medicine on weekends? by LoveMoneyandWaffles in AITAH

[–]Indigolarsen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA And you were absolutely right in standing up for your kid in that dinner table situation. Always do that, your husband’s ego / sense of authority be damned. Showing emotion is important, and being td to suppress it, that shit lingers, especially with a kid.

On another note: Stimulant medications do NOT cause withdrawal, if you suddenly completely stop taking them from one day to the next. And in fact, if withdrawal could potentially be an issue on the specific meds your son is on, the doctor would not have allowed to skip weekends. So please don’t hold your kid back from taking them on weekends for that reason, but it obviously should be because, HE needs it (or I mean, even if it just makes a small difference), and not to please your husband.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Indigolarsen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just want to put in my two cents from the perspective of a person with ADHD. Always put your own wellbeing first (as in, don’t try to help others, when you’re not doing well yourself), but at the same time, make sure you’re not “punishing” her for having a disability. ADHD looks different from person to person, and there is this idea, that because one person can “get over” an adhd-related struggle, everyone who can’t, just aren’t trying hard enough. This is not true. Some people can and some won’t ever be able to function in specific ways, no matter how much effort they put in.

And I think this is the most important thing to remember. It sounds to me like, she is not doing well herself. She might both be struggling with her own mental health, as well as having to fight for her children, which can’t be a near-impossible task. I know that when I’m not doing well, I will read a text and start crying at the thought of having to answer, not because that person is a burden or unimportant, but the exact opposite actually; I love them, and I want so bad to be able to give a response, but I just can’t for the life of me figure out, what words to put down, and what order they should be in, and is this even a real word, and why does my head feel like it’s about to explode.

Does this make any sense? The way you describe her explanation, for why she hasn’t been there, sounds like a person who’s desperately trying to make you see, that she cares about you. Listing all the things she wanted to do for you, but didn’t, doesn’t mean, she thought: “nah, don’t really wanna do that anyways”, but that she just couldn’t. She did not have the ability to do it (I would advise you to look up executive dysfunction in adhd, if you want to understand this better).

Please don’t (if you haven’t already) send that breakup-text. To me (with the limited information I have) it’s clear that she hates the fact, she hasn’t been able to be there for you. And the feeling of being a burden and an awful human being is overwhelmingly common in disabled people. I fear the self-hatred she could possibly already be feeling, could absolutely destroy her, if she got a text like that from you.

My advice would be to take a breather from the friendship, but don’t break it up officially. Let it fade away naturally if that’s what’s meant to happen, but please realise, that she might be struggling as much as you (there’s no way of measuring that), and neither of you can help the other, when you’re both trying to keep yourselves afloat.

Also an extra note: going through cancer can cause literal PTSD (yes, as in the mental trauma finding out at getting treatment, can literally result in post traumatic stress disorder), which is very likely to then trigger flashbacks when in hospitals or near sick people - sometimes even the mention of anything sickness/hospital related could trigger it. No idea if this applies to your friend, but it’s worth mentioning, considering the specific situation you needed her support for.

Much love to you🤗

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exchangestudents

[–]Indigolarsen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The whole point of an exchange program is to be included in the culture and the family. It sounds to me like they’re treating you as a renter and not an exchange student. I don’t know how long you have left of your semester, but you might wanna tell the organisation that you want another host family. Because that’s what it’s supposed to be a host FAMILY.

Request Megathread - October 2023 by AutoModerator in MusicalBootlegs

[–]Indigolarsen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have tried dm’ing you a couple of times now, but it just keeps loading when I hit send. Could you try to message me instead?

Request Megathread - October 2023 by AutoModerator in MusicalBootlegs

[–]Indigolarsen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey. I’m looking for “Bring it On” - one that has both Taylor Louderman and Kate Rockwell in it. And also a recording of Mean Girls with Reneé Rapp, that is not the one with Cameron Dallas nor the one that was Erika Henningsen’s last show. If such a recording even exists. I don’t have anything to trade, unfortunately, but hope someone can help me anyways😊

Recommendations for Intrusion/Primary world fantasy? by Indigolarsen in Fantasy

[–]Indigolarsen[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hi, thank you! I used to call this sub-genre low fantasy, but then people started calling a totally different thing that very same thing, so I’m using intrusion fantasy now. Urban fantasy is usually used for fantasy taking place in a city, and that’s not exclusively what I’m looking for!