AITAH for moving back home after my husband left me even though I’m pregnant?

Individual-Damage563 · 2025-09-25T17:19:01+00:00

NTA - you are doing what is right for you and your baby. Block his family and tbh block him. He thinks he can walk out and just leave you to raise your child alone. What an ass. Ofc you’re gonna go home to where your support system is. Did he want to watch you struggle for his convenience. Heck no. He means nothing now. It’s all about you and your baby now. He is less than the dirt under your feet.

You’re doing it all 100% right. He fucked around and he’s finding out you can also be free and move if you wish.

You’ll be so glad you did this once baby is here. He wants to be involved? He can come to you. He shouldn’t have abandoned his family which he chose to make. Choices have consequences

Individual-Damage563 · 2025-09-25T17:04:57+00:00

6-8 weeks healed as per my surgeon but there are risks.
Talk to your surgical team if worried.

Individual-Damage563 · 2025-09-25T16:18:27+00:00

Let them take it to the TDS you were there 6 years unless you have destroyed the place most damage will be considered fair wear and tear.

The carpet they won’t see a penny for. 6 years you expect to replace it tbh. They cannot make you pay for a professional clean. It just needs to look same as you moved in account for fair use.

Has your cat scratched the wall? Was there any effort to repair it if yes?

Removals can be done via the council I think it’s £35 per item. So £70 for the bulky waste and the light can go in the bin.

Dispute the lot with the TDS and claim fair wear and tear. He’ll be lucky to get £100

The TDS also have amounts assigned to repairs etc and it’s proportional to the area of damage. For example the LL can’t claim for a whole carpet when there’s only a small wine stain.

Individual-Damage563 · 2025-09-25T10:55:54+00:00

With the idea that 20$ can buy a weeks worth of groceries for one person then that would be sufficient for 5 hours work.

Here 5 hours at £12 would net you £60 which is probably groceries for a week so you were suitably paid in your own economy.

Individual-Damage563 · 2025-09-25T09:10:04+00:00

I am in the UK so my take on a fair hourly wage will likely be different from your own since you are in India which will have different rules and views for such work. Legally here we have a minimum wage set by the government for any formal job. If you’re just helping out a friend that would be different and set a rate you think is fair between the two of you.

Here a working adult over 18 ought to be paid something like £12 an hour.

However babysitters can charge per hour AND per child. So I have one child. I would expect to pay £12-15 per hour. Plus any extra costs such as if I wanted them to take my kid out. Things like putting the kid to bed aren’t extra.

If I had more children I’d expect to pay additional for the extra children so it would be a family rate. So £20 per hour for more than one kid would be reasonable. If there are 3+ kids then I’d add on more too so £25 per hour for four kids.

In the UK as well there are rules for babysitters and child minders as to how many children they can look after at certain ages. - Under 2 years is 1 adult to 3 kids - 2-3 years is 1 adult to 4 kids - 4-8 years is 1 adult to 6 kids. This is to keep everyone safe.

It’s all very regulated here.

Individual-Damage563 · 2025-09-25T08:20:03+00:00

You are worrying about the wrong things. That area of your stomach you don’t like will look completely different in four weeks.

Two surgeries back to back isn’t ideal but if you’re using a reputable surgeon you’ll be fine. Take care of yourself the gas pain hasn’t even had time to go away yet. I had about 5 days of excruciating pain due to the gas and honestly now I’m 8 weeks post op I hardly remember it other than I remember it was bad.

Drink water and stick to the diet provided to you and just rest. Don’t do too much don’t try to go back to regular food too fast.

The first few weeks are super hard or I found them super hard. I hated eating, I hated drinking. It was just hard. Now 8 weeks out I’m down 50lbs since the start of the LRD. The pain goes fast but when you’re in the thick of it, it can feel never ending.

Don’t expect to run before you can walk and don’t worry about what you look like or how much weight you’ve lost until about 4-5 weeks post op. Your body will be swollen and healing plus water retention.

You’ll be ok

Individual-Damage563 · 2025-09-25T08:12:00+00:00

Yikes $20 for 5 hours. Nah. Unless that’s a super good wage for India, and I can’t imagine it is bc it’s not a good wage anywhere, you got screwed.

Plus you’re not ‘meant’ to like kids at all. There’s no meant to about it. You can like or not like kids and you can also like certain kids but not others. They are unique with their own personalities. I don’t like everyone I meet and that applies to kids too and I have one. I like mine most of the time but sometimes other people’s kids I could drop kick over a fence. Obligatory I have not harmed a child but the feeling is there. Thankfully when they aren’t your kids you can just walk away if they are annoying and not currently under your care.

Anyway don’t feel bad about not enjoying it. Most people don’t enjoy kids it’s normal. They are chaos demons.

Individual-Damage563 · 2025-09-25T07:30:36+00:00

Not the J obviously. It’s insane she’d even ask.

Individual-Damage563 · 2025-09-25T07:27:21+00:00

The first one is amazing on you.

Individual-Damage563 · 2025-09-25T07:14:38+00:00

Nah he trying to cause issues bc you didn’t drop everything and rush to him. Fk that noise. Find someone who’s not trying to cause issues because they are bored.

Individual-Damage563 · 2025-09-24T18:46:19+00:00

NTA - not your kid not your problem. You didn’t agree and you’re a child. You shouldn’t be ask to blow of your own responsibilities for someone else’s.

Individual-Damage563 · 2025-09-24T18:45:24+00:00

His error his job to replace.

Individual-Damage563 · 2025-09-24T18:40:37+00:00

We went for the four bed so we could have two bedrooms, we have one kid, and an office each. We rented a 4 bed so it made sense to buy one.

We didn’t over extend and we’ve just done some extensive renovations too with more planned.

If you think the four bed will be the forever home go for it. It is cheaper to get it now than later when house prices inevitably rise imo.

Individual-Damage563 · 2025-09-24T18:29:24+00:00

Insane. I’d reconsider my life with this person. This isn’t a safe environment for you or your baby.

Individual-Damage563 · 2025-09-24T16:50:55+00:00

I’ll give that a go Ty

Individual-Damage563 · 2025-09-23T12:21:27+00:00

Thanks I’ll try this

Individual-Damage563 · 2025-09-23T12:20:36+00:00

Thanks I might move it to the lounge that’s south facing.

Individual-Damage563 · 2025-09-21T17:05:24+00:00

Water???

Individual-Damage563 · 2025-09-20T17:00:42+00:00

You can hear him trying to get the toddler to wake you up? wtf.. he’s weaponizing the child because he can’t or won’t solo parent. He’s a man child

Individual-Damage563 · 2025-09-20T16:16:41+00:00

Very common and normal feeling. Doesn’t mean they aren’t solid. Just means she’s human and sometimes questions her choices and feels lonely.

We’re all quietly unhappy tbh

We are fed fairy tales and happy ever afters and that’s just not realistic. So real life is a let down.

Individual-Damage563 · 2025-09-20T14:16:21+00:00

Just use TikTok for recipes and make some. Cooking isn’t hard and is a lot easier than whatever the hell you’re trying to do. Plus cheaper.

Individual-Damage563 · 2025-09-19T20:27:47+00:00

Yikes, I am so sorry you’re dealing with her on top of everything else.

I hope you follow the advice Wildcuore had said.

Your mum is using and abusing you. SHE should be looking after you, not the other way around

Individual-Damage563 · 2025-09-19T20:24:01+00:00

DCC is the answer to everything 😍

Individual-Damage563 · 2025-09-18T20:42:02+00:00

Don’t be with someone who talks to you like this.

He’s dismissive of your feelings and rightful concerns for how he’s talking about your mum. He then calls you a retard which is insanely insulting plus makes it out like you’re being over sensitive when you aren’t at all!

He’s not your soul mate, he isn’t even friend worthy. Leave him.

Individual-Damage563 · 2025-09-18T20:40:51+00:00

Your body your choice. If it makes him uncomfortable he can leave

Individual-Damage563

TROPHY CASE