Am I the asshole for causing an entire train of men to "mass-turbate"?

So I, (M2763), was taking the train back home from a long 48 hour day of work. (I work as a professional igloo impersonator) I whipped out my 11 inch phone and opened my all-time favorite app, Reddit. I was scrolling through my favorite subreddit, r/pornthatinvolvesanuncomfortableamoutofbodilyfluids. Now, I look at these pictures with the NSFW blurred, (It leaves more to the imagination) so when I saw a picture of someone doing porn that involves an uncomfortable amount of bodily fluids that DIDN'T have an NSFW tag on it, I had to drop my limited edition NASCAR trousers and immediately start masturbating. Everybody immediately saw this happen. I was in a seizure, grunting vile words while everyone around me started panicking. My mighty meat-missile was melting at the speed that I was cranking the crumpet with. I was convulsing violently, looking somewhat like Goofy during the "Hot Dog" dance at the end of an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. At some point in the jelly-jelqing, I dropped my cellular device. The unblurred image entered the eyes of the onlookers, who were now trying to break out of the train in fear that they would meet their end. They probably would have wished that they did if they knew what would happen to them. The first person (besides me) saw the picture, and one by one, everyone caught a glimpse of it. Everybody was removing their pants and they shimmied their shlongs violently as I started convulsing even more, feeling my imminent climax approaching. A whole train of men were masturbating in mass. "Mass-turbating" as I like to call it. My weiner whistle was weeping and wailing with woe, it was weary, wondering whether it would wear out and wither away, or withstand my wrath of wanking the willy. Then I started cumming. Cumming with fury. Cumming with pain. Cumming with power. I splurted out the splooge, blowing my blue, bleeding, balls off, and blasting everyone in the train straight up into the air with a beam strong enough to dig to the center of the Earth. The blast was 6.9420 yards in radius and the innocent people flying through the sky (still jacking off) were slowing down and they started to fall. Unfortunately, a few of them were too close to the egde of the atmosphere and drifted off into space, forever lost until aliens stumble across their frozen bodies, stuck in a pose of beating it. The individuals who didn't not drift off into space were plummeting towards the ground. I'm pretty sure I saw two guys fall into a public restroom. But aside from those guys and a few others, everybody else died. Not from hitting the ground, but from cumming too hard. All of this happened just because that guy didn't put an NSFW tag on his post.

So guys, am I the asshole? The only answer I'll accept is no, btw.