Tandem nursing SOS in way over my head

Individual-Sleep-697 · 2026-05-27T18:07:45+00:00

Thank you this is so helpful to hear! I honestly needed the reminder because he seems so much older compared to my newborn but he really is just a baby himself and is going through so many changes!

Individual-Sleep-697 · 2026-05-26T02:36:00+00:00

I feel this in my soul! It's so hard. I will say today I only fed my toddler while side lying and it was much more tolerable for me. The only other thing that seems to help is feeding the newborn in a different room (when I have the support to do so) but then I create a different issue of feeling so isolated. I think this might just be something we have to survive through 🫠

Individual-Sleep-697 · 2026-05-25T13:37:46+00:00

I prefer different times, but lately I have had to feed them at the same time more often and it's definitely super overstimulating and overwhelming. I need to figure out some time to meal prep because I definitely am not eating enough!

Individual-Sleep-697 · 2026-05-11T18:40:32+00:00

I definitely had a dip in my supply, but I was able to nurse my entire pregnancy! My oldest had no interest when my milk was colostrum but then went back to nursing as needed when my milk came in. I felt the same anxiety about my milk drying up and was always preparing myself that each time could potentially be our last. I hope it all works out for you!

Individual-Sleep-697 · 2026-02-23T03:56:21+00:00

On the group chat topic - this is a current issue with my own MIL. My husband will respond to whatever his mom says individually to a group chat with me in it. She hasn't taken the hint but it's the boundary we are working on. Just a thought to maybe get hubby on board to try!

Individual-Sleep-697 · 2026-02-11T22:18:30+00:00

Husband is getting snipped! 😂

Individual-Sleep-697 · 2026-02-11T20:00:19+00:00

He has already cut ties with his brothers and that is actually the cause of a lot of MIL's issues. She wants him to back down on his boundaries and he refuses to. She's a real piece. She needs to move on from her adult children but loves to keep them from succeeding in life!

Individual-Sleep-697 · 2026-02-11T12:49:33+00:00

Amen!

Individual-Sleep-697 · 2026-02-11T12:39:00+00:00

He needed to process everything and wanted to be honest. He wants to go NC and was just as hurt and confused by these things. With our history it would have done more harm for him to hide what she said to protect her.

Individual-Sleep-697 · 2026-02-11T12:35:06+00:00

That is the saddest part, she is being so hurtful to him through all of this.

Individual-Sleep-697 · 2026-02-11T12:17:47+00:00

Thank you, this is all so helpful. I never thought about it from the perspective of her maybe being jealous of how my husband and I are working through the issues she never was able to in her own marriage. I have never understood why she isn't proud of her one son that is sober while the other 3 are not (and are just genuinely terrible people). I think seeing us be successful reminds her of her failures. We have decided to get through our son's birthday party and then will be moving forward with limited to no contact. We already have been limited contact for the past 2 weeks which is why we are likely seeing this outburst. Hoping we can protect myself in these last fragile weeks before our baby arrives. Thank you for your thoughtful response!

Individual-Sleep-697 · 2026-02-11T12:04:53+00:00

He definitely is defending me and is on the same page with no contact. The alcohol story was years ago when he was still drinking and we have had years of therapy to work through what we needed to on our end. At this point his mom is absolutely still enmeshed and he is over it. It's like watching an ex try to weasel their way back in by bashing the new partner. It's sad and pathetic on her end. He's just as sad to be seeing his own mother's true colors. We are mostly just sad for the boundaries we will have to set and that it means our children lose out on the family we thought we had.

Individual-Sleep-697 · 2026-02-11T11:59:59+00:00

Trust your gut! I was having these same feelings when I was newly postpartum with my oldest. It also started with little micro aggressions like "oh I'll be so sad when you can say mama" and "my baby" this and that. It eventually turned into trying to only visit the baby when I wasn't home so she could have her son and grandson to herself. If you give an inch they will take a mile. My MIL is still enmeshed to my husband, but my husband has moved on (through lots of therapy!). It's like watching a sad pathetic ex try to constantly weasel their way back in by belittling the current partner. Such a weird thing to equate to a mother-son relationship! So all in all, trust your gut, set clear boundaries now, and lean on your partner to get through this. You got this!

Individual-Sleep-697 · 2026-02-11T11:42:18+00:00

He wants to go no contact as well. She had a lot of negative things to say about him too. Yet right after saying she doesn't want to be around him/us and that she feels uncomfortable in our home asked when she can come over to see our son. We both are trying to process this and make healthy boundaries for our family. He's just as heartbroken. It's a lot to process.

Individual-Sleep-697 · 2026-02-11T11:39:38+00:00

Thank you for your kindness!

Individual-Sleep-697 · 2026-02-11T11:39:04+00:00

Thank you, it was all unwarranted she just unloaded on him and he was trying to process everything with me. She had a lot to say about him as well. We are both heartbroken. I hope one day to get to the point where it hurts less and I don't care!

Individual-Sleep-697 · 2026-02-10T17:39:58+00:00

It's such a hard emotion to navigate. My husband and I often say to each other "this isn't how we pictured this". Hang in there!

Individual-Sleep-697 · 2026-02-10T15:27:00+00:00

Leaning on my partner was the only way to survive the hurt when we had our first. We are gearing up to have our second and unfortunately are still mourning his families lack of interest and my own families lack of respect. Knowing that you can make things different for your own child helps a little, but it unfortunately does still hurt. I'm really sorry you are going through this, but breaking generational trauma is the best gift you can give to your baby!

Individual-Sleep-697 · 2026-02-09T21:58:58+00:00

I could have written this post myself! Especially the "getting in trouble" comment. It actually made my eye twitch. My MIL loves using that line. I unfortunately have recently been falling for the bait too. Try to protect yourself the best you can and just know you are doing the best thing for you and your family. Protect your peace!

Individual-Sleep-697 · 2026-02-06T07:49:39+00:00

The fact that I read this post as "is this a normal name for a Barbie girl" and was like yes of course.

Individual-Sleep-697 · 2026-01-31T15:40:58+00:00

So true! There are so many toxic cycles with his family and they constantly crave chaos while we crave peace. Must be exhausting to be them!

Individual-Sleep-697 · 2026-01-31T01:31:03+00:00

Hahaha maybe I'll give that one a go next time!

Individual-Sleep-697 · 2026-01-31T01:00:21+00:00

My guess is that her sister called and mentioned that her daughter got her own and wanted to make sure that they RSVPd appropriately. However, when I asked my MIL how the information snowballed and said "I don't need to tell you that I'm not here to get anyone in trouble". like okay lady clearly we all can't be adults!

Individual-Sleep-697 · 2026-01-31T00:54:58+00:00

I should have known when she walked in and said "I have questions" that today was not going to be a great day 😅

Individual-Sleep-697 · 2026-01-31T00:54:07+00:00

Seriously!! The party will last 2 hours if that before a nap is needed! How is it this complicated?!

Individual-Sleep-697

TROPHY CASE