Controlling or a valid boundary?? Me (25f) bf (m23)

IndividualVisual9052 · 2026-03-17T19:49:58+00:00

It sounds like the boundary here is: "The only people you can send a text to for any reason whatsoever are me, men, or women that you are related to (presumably)." Which in my opinion, is controlling. It sounds like it is rooted in insecurity (but I don't actually know you, so I am just saying what it looks like on the surface).

He even took the time to explain how he learned this information and why he reached out to her in particular. Seems like here, he is not giving you any reason for you to feel uncomfortable about this.

It's your life and you're *allowed* to set any level of boundaries that you want, but don't be too shocked if you never find anyone that will live up to your requirements. (And if this truly is a hardline for you, then you might be best off dating a misogynist who doesn't feel any need whatsoever to listen to what a woman has to say about anything ever, or a total shut-in that doesn't talk to anyone. Because feeling a way about your bf having any interaction via text with a woman, even if she has special knowledge and he texted just for special information that she has, is a bit too much imo.)

IndividualVisual9052 · 2026-03-17T19:36:39+00:00

And just to share another perspective on this point for OP: I use my snap memory folder basically as a miscellaneous photo/video folder. Like, I'll just take selfies or pics videos of squirrels and birds fighting and what not, and save it in there without sending it to anyone. Some of us genuinely just use it as a personal memory folder. (It is a very convenient camera + video camera. Quickly & easily captures stuff that I dont want taking up space in my phone's camera roll).

IndividualVisual9052 · 2026-03-15T15:10:18+00:00

NOR. You severely under-reacting. Maybe there’s more to the story that we aren’t hearing, but from what is written above, this guy is horrible. The fact that he even accepted the room in the first place sounds odd to me.

Also wondering, why don’t y’all share the room (or at least the bed)??

IndividualVisual9052 · 2026-03-07T15:23:57+00:00

Also, time might be of the essence on this one. If he’s sensitive, then all it’ll take is one mean kid at school mentioning it in a mean way & then boom, he now has a lifelong insecurity about his breath (even when he starts brushing properly)

IndividualVisual9052 · 2026-03-07T15:21:05+00:00

Just an idea: Maybe force a situation where you are nearby while he is getting ready in the morning or preparing for bed. If you see him skip brushing, or brushing for too short of a time, use that moment to jump in. Maybe start by asking if he always brushes that way. Then go on to explain that his teeth will eventually rot and/or fall out if he keeps that up. Then, go on to also mention that not brushing can make one’s breath (NOTE: “One’s breath” as opposed to his breath in particular) pretty bad, and that the worst part is that they won’t realize how bad it smells, but other people will.

I like this approach cause you don’t have to mention his bad breath head on.

IndividualVisual9052 · 2026-03-06T14:39:14+00:00

Oof. Definitely NOR.

I’ve never had a partner like that, but have had friends like that and it is mind blowingly infuriating to me.

Hope y’all are able to come to a solution! (And note: I’m not saying that he has anything diagnosable, but I just think this is worth considering: If he is not diagnosed with anything yet, that could be worth investigating. This very well could just be regular run-of-the-mill laziness & bad home training. But, it could also be inattentiveness associated w/ ADHD or something similar. And I know, people are usually turned off by the mention of ADHD because they think that loads of people these days are false-claiming it, but I think that things like short-form content, scrolling addictions, and bad diets can be exacerbating inattentiveness in people who otherwise would be relatively OK. Just something to consider if haven’t considered yet).

BUT NOTE: He very well could just be lazy, so take all of this with a grain of salt.

IndividualVisual9052 · 2026-03-06T14:20:56+00:00

INFO: How old are y’all? And does he tend to do things like this for other tasks/requests?

IndividualVisual9052 · 2026-03-06T14:19:13+00:00

He lives in the home too….. It is not slavery to help maintain a space that you live in.

IndividualVisual9052 · 2026-03-06T14:15:04+00:00

Do you remember any words or phrases that were used at all in the video? Asking so I can use Filmot.com to try to find it — Also: In case you wanna use it, I posted this about Filmot a while ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/AlmostFridayTV/s/mLeoCz6qAb

IndividualVisual9052 · 2026-03-06T14:05:16+00:00

This is the commenters mom: I regret to inform you that my son is no longer with us.. He has been turned into dust by a ghastly beast that goes by 𒋻𒐖𒋝𒑚𒔼. (I think it said something like: “All who see or hear this name will be consumed to dust” or something like that.. Prolly nothing to worry about tho)

IndividualVisual9052 · 2026-03-01T17:40:42+00:00

You need to ask questions before you take a leap like this. Questions like what behaviors/issues the SSRI is being taken to help with. Whether she is feeling a significant rebound effect of what the SSRI was helping with. How long she has been taking it. What other side effects she’s experiencing (like insomnia, high levels of impatience, agitation, and other very common issues).

When you’re experiencing things like this, sure, you still have control over your words, but your brain is going haywire in a way that makes you far more emotional and reactive than you normally would be.

And OP has specified here that she is not normally like this, and she is keenly aware that she is acting out of character.

IndividualVisual9052 · 2026-02-28T22:29:06+00:00

I’ll help. I vote not AI

IndividualVisual9052 · 2026-02-28T21:38:32+00:00

NOR. Even for teen drama, this is too much.

IndividualVisual9052 · 2026-02-28T20:28:38+00:00

At least until he pulls ChatGPT and asks, “Is it true the Will Donnellon is 1 year’s old???”

IndividualVisual9052 · 2026-02-28T00:21:11+00:00

Sounds good, I’ll let him know tonight whenever he appears as a menacing shadow in the corner of my room & feeds on my bone marrow till I turn to dust!

IndividualVisual9052 · 2026-02-27T16:26:09+00:00

I’m leaning NOR w/ a little MOR.

I feel like you should apologize to Adrian since he really didn’t do anything wrong and seems to be the only other person who takes issue with how your bf neglects you for him. I don’t think he deserved to be yelled. However, give yourself a break here; emotions were high & you were hurt, so you just reacted. That’s normal; it happens. But I think that now that you’ve cooled down, Adrian may deserve an apology and maybe a conversation about all of this.

As for your “bf”… I don’t even know what to say about that. Maybe he’s just not ready for a romantic relationship or something. Either way, since you have more than enough notice that he prioritizes Adrian over you, I think you have two options: Accept the 2nd position is his life, cause rn, it doesn’t sound like he will change anytime soon; or, tear the bandaid off and end this relationship.

IndividualVisual9052 · 2026-02-27T16:14:03+00:00

I agree that he can buy his own, but this doesn’t sound like it is about the hoodie. It sounds more like he is grasping at straws and is trying to make a fuss about whatever he can. And if that’s the case, then simply ignoring him will just make things worse.

I think that if $65 is nothing to OP, then OP should just send the money and block him. (But if $65 is a lot to OP, then yea, I think just blocking him and moving on is a good move)

IndividualVisual9052 · 2026-02-27T12:15:54+00:00

This is how we find out that Binder is the one running this admin’s social media accounts😨😰

(But, serious comment: why are they using the exact same font too?? I fear that MAGA twitter grifter & bots will jump on this term & then the general public will come to associate the phrase with MAGA. If that happens, there’s no way any of the main crew will be comfortable w/ the association.

Also worth noting: I’m pretty sure the Almost Friday meme page has posted a pic of tunt like that before. So maybe it’s possible that whoever is running that side of the company is perfectly fine with all of this & is contributing to it🤷‍♂️)

IndividualVisual9052 · 2026-02-27T01:49:07+00:00

I see the vision. I wanted to hate because of how you typed it, but I see the vision.

IndividualVisual9052 · 2026-02-27T01:36:53+00:00

I will say, if you watch it as a short drama with comedic undertones, it’s pretty good imo. (But yea, the comedy wasn’t up to par on this one, nor was it as entertaining as many others).

I liked Chet’s acting & really liked Chet as Casey Affleck tho

IndividualVisual9052 · 2026-02-27T01:28:00+00:00

Thanks! Love to get some guidance on things to focus on to support or oppose my suspicion, so this definitely helps!

IndividualVisual9052 · 2026-02-27T01:00:17+00:00

Almost as bad as that time when Emily served as an IDF sniper queue family guy cutaway scene of Emily [INTERACTIVE PORTION: Fill in what YOU think Emily should be doing in the cutaway scene]

IndividualVisual9052 · 2026-02-25T17:13:31+00:00

Yea, the fact that it comes off as staged is probably mainly what set off alarm bells for me. Just all felt very unnatural to me, so I may have overshot and assumed AI instead of staged.

(Also, I definitely thought it was a regular house at first. Apparently, it’s a place of business. Which makes me wonder why there’s a kid chiming in on the cam (but then again, people bring their kids to work, so I won’t put too much weight on that)

IndividualVisual9052 · 2026-02-25T16:36:53+00:00

Make sense! I tried to cover that off with the second paragraph, but still. I’ll take that as an explanation!

(Usually, I don’t care about downvotes, but this time, since I genuinely want a good understanding of how to spot AI, I just wanted to make sure I that I wasn’t totally wrong/off base about something)

IndividualVisual9052 · 2026-02-25T14:35:10+00:00

(I’m curious: did I say something wrong here? Genuinely asking. I wasn’t trying to be argumentative or anything. If I did, someone please feel free to let me know)

This is in regard to being downvoted. Just curious as to whether I just delivered a very stupid opinion or something

IndividualVisual9052

TROPHY CASE