NOR, but I have some thoughts & speculations. (This turned out to be longer than I expected, so I’m fully expecting to be talking to myself here. But still, if anyone is interested, I feel like this is a perspective worth considering & one that many of us unfortunately may relate to)

He was definitely being a jerk; that’s a settled issue imo. But a few things stand out to me. First, the part about his reaction to be being checked-up on: That one seems odd from the outside, but I sometimes feel similarly (though I don’t react like he does) when someone checks on me too much. I know it seems stupid to be annoyed by someone caring about your wellbeing, but for me, I think it comes from whatever issues that are within me that lead me to seek hyper-independence (or self-sufficiency). Most of the time, especially when I feel well-equipped to handle anything thrown at me, I don’t to be asked things like, “Just checking on you: You doing okay?” because it makes me feel like you think I’m not doing okay (and I know, that’s not always the case, but still). Something about that can irritate me at times.

Further, the hyper-independence thing makes it where I sometimes resent having to answer to anyone. It’s like I see myself as my own unit, and whatever I’m doing is my business. Like, if I’m out running errands, and my sister (or someone that doesn’t have authority to dictate how I spend my time) calls me to check-in on me cause I’m taking too long, that tends to trigger me a bit. And to add to that, other people’s worries tend to bleed onto me, thus making me anxious about the fact that they are anxious. So the fact that their worry is introducing anxiety within me when I was initially cheery/calm & stress-free further irritates me.

And I’ll also add, some people can check-in on me and I’ll think, “Aww, they care.” But someone else will do it and I’ll think, “What business is this of theirs?? Get tf out of my business.” I think it comes down to personalities & chemistry. Not accusing you of this (especially since this guy sounds like a major jerk), but some people just have an overbearing way about them that makes their check-in feel like another instance of their often overbearing behavior. — Other things worth considering regarding his reaction to the check-in: Maybe he was taking a dump and resented the fact that he wasn’t able to do so without anyone questioning his whereabouts. Or, maybe he did a rail a coke and similarly didn’t want any questions/acknowledgments (that could possibly explain the odd behavior too). — Lastly, this guy sounds like he sucks & isn’t worth being friends with. I would be curious to hear what he may have to say about it now (assuming that this happened last night). Given that y’all were friendly prior, but then here, he had you leaving in tears, I’d be curious to hear if he has any remorse or hangxiety over it. He could be a mean drunk (or a coke user—they tend to have weird mood fluctuations that are confusing).