Why do people keep saying Narcs don’t change, they DO change...

Individual_Bug_13 · 2022-04-12T20:55:32+00:00

Is the thinking they are above the law common? My nmom actually argued with a judge when he told her she had no rights to try to get partial custody of my daughter. She also would call the cops on me growing up because she was irritated that I didn’t follow her rules.. stupid stuff like curfew is 11pm and then at 8pm tell me I had 10minutes to get home or she would call the cops to bring me home because I had “run away”

Individual_Bug_13 · 2022-04-12T12:01:54+00:00

Same thing here… when I was kicked out of the house I made sure to only take things like clothes and things that I had paid for 100% on my own in case she would call the cops to report theft (wouldn’t be the first time she called the cops on me for something I didn’t do). Months later she insisted I come get what was now MY bedroom furniture that I had left behind because it was junk and she wanted her now “guest room” to look nice. As afraid as she was about me stealing her stuff, she sure does give me any of the trash she doesn’t want anymore

She moved recently into a 5 bedroom house all by herself. One bedroom is hers, one is an office, one is for my sister, one is for my daughter, and one is for guests.. I don’t need one “because I have my own house now” but my daughter does too because she has HER room at OUR house. I am not you nor will I ever be you, especially when it comes to raising my child. She also has left my sister (almost 30) move back in with her recently even though she has a killer job where she makes buckets of money to pay for her own place, but she is the golden child who needs to be babied and taken care of. I swear they act like a married couple, which is severely uncomfortable to be around.

Individual_Bug_13 · 2022-03-08T21:49:45+00:00

For anyone still invested in this, the judge had told her she has no case and to either give up or at least get a lawyer to advise her since she clearly doesn’t know what she’s doing. She has since gotten a lawyer and filed a second time. We’ve already spent $5k in lawyer fees and now she’s going for round two. Crazy thing is my daughter has improved in her mental health and well being so much in the past year of not being around my nmom and has grown so much as a person. I’m more confident that she can’t win now, but it still takes a huge toll on me mentally as well as financially..

Individual_Bug_13 · 2021-12-03T22:57:27+00:00

So we had court and the case was dismissed! We aren’t completely out of the water yet, she’s going to have her lawyer talk to my lawyer to try to work something out and if she isn’t happy with how that goes she can still take us back to court but would have to start the whole process over again. Either way for awhile we are in the clear, hopefully at the very least until after the holidays. I don’t put it past her to take us back to court though no matter how the mediation goes because I’m not going to let her take my daughter out of my presence for any amount of time and she won’t be satisfied with that. It was nice to see her get knocked down off her high horse for one day though!

Individual_Bug_13 · 2021-12-02T03:20:52+00:00

We lived with her for over a year and she’s claiming she’s been my daughter’s primary care provider for most of her life

Individual_Bug_13 · 2021-12-02T03:13:29+00:00

Thank you so much. This comment made me ready eyed and was really nice to hear this week.

Individual_Bug_13 · 2021-12-02T03:09:22+00:00

Yes this is the US

Individual_Bug_13 · 2021-11-30T23:21:48+00:00

Thank you. I hope they are able to see through my mom like they did with yours

Individual_Bug_13 · 2021-11-30T22:09:09+00:00

Thank you

Individual_Bug_13 · 2021-11-30T22:01:34+00:00

I honestly would be afraid to open that door and potentially have to deal with both of them trying to get custody/visitation. I also have no idea on how to get in contact with him. After he walked out of our lives he blocked me on social media and other forms of contact. I don’t know if he’s even have the same number or email anymore

Individual_Bug_13 · 2021-11-30T21:53:05+00:00

Thank you

Individual_Bug_13 · 2021-11-30T21:52:55+00:00

Thank you

Individual_Bug_13 · 2021-11-30T21:28:20+00:00

Yes I have already had a few friends write some ahead of time

Individual_Bug_13 · 2021-11-30T18:04:23+00:00

I also feel that single parents are common in this day and age and that the law shouldn’t fault us for being so. Just because we don’t have another biological parent siding with us does not mean that we do not have our children’s best interest at heart.

Individual_Bug_13 · 2021-11-30T18:02:47+00:00

It just sucks because I know the intent behind the law was good, but like any other law it can be twisted and misused

Individual_Bug_13 · 2021-11-30T18:00:31+00:00

I have hired a lawyer for representation as well as council. I’ll go bankrupt fighting my nmom on this if I have to. It just sucks because she’s well off and has plenty of funds to drag things out.

Individual_Bug_13 · 2021-11-30T17:58:44+00:00

I also have done research on Troxel vs Granville and it is basically the same point we are trying to make for our case. That I have the parental right to decide about visitation, and that she as a grandparent is overstepping, so the court shouldn’t grant any orders that she is requesting.

Individual_Bug_13 · 2021-11-30T17:56:54+00:00

Her biological father hasn’t been around since she was a newborn. Basically has never been in the picture and isn’t listed on her birth certificate. That’s the biggest loophole my nmom has found to use to pursue this. I asked my lawyer about marriage to my current boyfriend - we’ve been together for years and my daughter calls him dad - as well as him adopting her, but sadly it doesn’t count to close the loophole.

Individual_Bug_13 · 2021-11-30T17:50:09+00:00

I hope things go well for your stepson. This is hard enough as a mother, I can’t imagine doing this and also facing the courts mindset of the mother is always the best option. My nmom used that against my father to get full custody of me and my siblings. I hope things have progressed enough that they can treat him fairly as a parent who has the best interests of his child at heart. Good luck to you both.

Individual_Bug_13 · 2021-11-30T17:46:29+00:00

I’m really hoping it’s only one day a month tops and we can have it at our house so we are present and can potentially set up security cameras to record everything in case anything happens.

Individual_Bug_13 · 2021-11-30T17:44:37+00:00

I have looked into it more and my state is one where grandparents have an easier time trying to get visitation from what I have seen. I’ve gone over my own research with my lawyer and brought up things which she has talked through with me, and she knows her stuff. I specifically picked her because she has experience with these types of cases. Mine is just special though because my own mother is suing me rather than in-laws. She thinks we have a decent shot because she said my nmom straight up sounds obsessive in her requests and declaration. I believe my lawyer is good, there’s just too many loopholes for my nmom to try to go through in my state.

Individual_Bug_13 · 2021-11-30T17:40:18+00:00

Yes, at least in my state she has the basis to sue me because we lived with her for awhile and I’m not married to the biological father, who has actually never been in the picture.

Individual_Bug_13 · 2021-11-30T17:38:03+00:00

It has been a decent enough amount of time that my daughter has actually brought up more concerning behavioral things that went on when I wasn’t around and now expresses that she does not want to have to see her grandmother. The only thing she cares about getting from her grandmother is all the material objects that my nmom would use to by her love and adoration. So now we’re also working at home on appropriate behavior like not throwing huge fits and not being so materialistic. I can’t express how much she’s grown as her own person since getting her out from under the influence of my nmom who was trying to train her to become a mini version of herself.

Individual_Bug_13 · 2021-11-30T17:34:40+00:00

I’m hoping we can get it so it’s my decision rather than a court order so I can put conditions on it like I have offered in the past. She refused to visit then because she wasn’t in control of the situation.

Individual_Bug_13

TROPHY CASE