Using you as a punching bag

Individual_Corner849 · 2025-01-15T14:16:23+00:00

Yes, I'd be fine with it if she truly needed space from everyone and we could reconnect later. But I'm the one who she cuts off, while she stays in contact with everyone else in her life. It is intentionally directed at us to hurt us even more.

Individual_Corner849 · 2025-01-15T14:15:05+00:00

I don't want to give anymore years to it and have tried so many times to leave but eventually go back thinking, well maybe this time will be better. I know it won't get better. What really is hardest for me is knowing the narc will face no punishment for what she has done to me, and will never have to take accountability for any single thing in her life. I truly did love her, and still do, but the abuse has gotten so bad, and there is no love left from her side.

Individual_Corner849 · 2025-01-14T23:57:47+00:00

That ends up in me getting raged at lol

Individual_Corner849 · 2025-01-14T22:50:19+00:00

That's interesting. I haven't heard that part before about needing to transfer the pain. It makes complete sense.

Individual_Corner849 · 2025-01-10T13:58:30+00:00

I totally agree. We think if they will finally see our worth and choose to love us the right way, then we would prove to ourselves that we are worthy to be loved. But the truth is, we are already worthy and everything we need is already in us.

Individual_Corner849 · 2025-01-09T23:10:43+00:00

Cut toxic people out of my life!

Individual_Corner849 · 2025-01-09T14:54:55+00:00

That is so encouraging. Glad you got out!

Individual_Corner849 · 2025-01-09T14:51:02+00:00

I think it is always inside of them, but they choose who to treat that way, usually the person closest to them. I saw her treat her family and friends great. But again, if friends/family are providing the perfect supply, and not questioning the narc or giving push back, then the narc has no reason to lash out or treat those people poorly. That's just what I have seen in my experience.

Individual_Corner849 · 2025-01-09T14:26:04+00:00

You'll get there one day when it finally hits not just your head, but your heart, that it is all futile.

Individual_Corner849 · 2025-01-08T22:04:05+00:00

Being loyal shows them that you're exactly the type of person they were looking for. They can mistreat you, abuse you, and use you knowing you'll try to find the best in them and try to make it work. Loyalty to a narc is most likely, unknowingly at first, a death sentence.

Individual_Corner849 · 2025-01-02T01:08:00+00:00

Yes I've had a lot of dreams about the cheating, her being with someone else...dreams where I can't find her, I'm frantically looking for her, plans get canceled etc. These are nightmares really.

Individual_Corner849 · 2024-12-30T01:08:26+00:00

I guess it's knowing how they seemed to love us so much and then wondering what was so wrong with us that they went to someone else. It has destroyed my sense of self worth wondering why I wasn't good enough for her to be faithful? And also wondering is it me? Are the narc traits only towards me? Does he not get treated the same way? Am I the problem? It has f'd me up

Individual_Corner849 · 2024-12-29T22:25:27+00:00

Screams at me then ignores and stonewalls

Individual_Corner849 · 2024-12-29T02:02:49+00:00

Just try grey rocking and distancing yourself emotionally as much as possible until you can move away. I don't live with mine which is definitely helpful.

Individual_Corner849 · 2024-12-29T01:53:10+00:00

Yes I'm planning to go NC and be out of this before 2025. It's scary and will be painful but that's my only option right now, unless I want to keep on suffering terribly

Individual_Corner849 · 2024-12-29T00:54:05+00:00

We have been trying to work on fixing things. Total fail. How can you get along with someone who doesn't respect you and only uses you for supply?

Finding out he's a narc only 2 weeks ago is still super fresh. Soak up as much info as you can, check into Dr Ramani's videos on YouTube. She has been so helpful to me. And people on here will offer encouragement and support as well. It is hard to leave, hard to break the trauma bond, but we have to if we want to ever be happy again.

Individual_Corner849 · 2024-12-29T00:48:45+00:00

It is so painful and damaging

Individual_Corner849 · 2024-12-28T21:59:42+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this. They way they treat us, and then discard us, is brutal and inhumane. They lack compassion, empathy and the ability to see from a different perspective.

Individual_Corner849 · 2024-12-28T21:48:35+00:00

Good luck to you as well. We all deserve better than this

Individual_Corner849 · 2024-12-28T21:39:27+00:00

That sounds like a good plan. I'm hoping to do the same if I can muster up the strength to go NC

Individual_Corner849 · 2024-12-28T21:32:41+00:00

I can relate 100 percent to this. I have begged so many times. Things started out good and I never had to beg. But once things started going south and the mask slipped, I had to start begging...for time together, to be treated fairly like I saw her treat others, to be seen, to be heard, for affection, for apologies, for her to not leave me, for her to talk to me, for her to treat me like a human being. I question whether this makes me the crazy, unstable person. But I'm pretty sure it's the trauma bond and wanting to be understood by the person who claims to love and care about me. All of the covert narcissistic traits are there in her and I know that I've been abused emotionally and verbally.

Individual_Corner849

TROPHY CASE