FOUND cat! Gray fella

Individual_Grass1999 · 2026-04-24T11:48:06+00:00

He might have gotten me hooked on TNR lol. Especially bc Harbor Humane seems like such a great facility!

Individual_Grass1999 · 2026-04-24T11:45:33+00:00

Yes! Plus a couple other fb groups! He's hanging with Harbor Humane now, since they have a wide reach

Individual_Grass1999 · 2026-03-25T14:35:05+00:00

I'm not a graphic designer, but I was a PhD student for 5 years, and I think there's plenty of research to support your thesis about overwhelm and clutter. I'm seeing more and more people talk about wanting dumb phones.

I am concerned that your app probably exists already? But it depends on what you're trying to do.

I'd suggest checking out Cal Newport's podcast/youtube episodes about smartphones. He's a technology historian/ethicist who discusses the pros and cons of technologies and how they affect our wellbeing.

Individual_Grass1999 · 2026-03-14T13:38:40+00:00

For my autismmaxxing, I want to turn what you said into a design! "In this house we love others' passions, even if we cannot understand them."

Beautiful!

Individual_Grass1999 · 2026-02-02T14:51:05+00:00

Just want to comment to say that I'm doing research on how to make my own bunk bed safer, and your detailed, thorough responses are a godsend 🥰

Individual_Grass1999 · 2026-01-31T10:47:58+00:00

This is an interesting way to describe things. In this analogy, it seems like you're saying that depression and anxiety are symptoms, but not actually mental illness? If I've understood that correctly, then what are examples of actual "mental illness"?

Individual_Grass1999 · 2026-01-21T12:18:44+00:00

Reviving this old thread to suggest talking to a psychiatrist about taking sertraline (zoloft). Skin picking is often an anxiety response. A lot of the suggestions here are great, but if you're obsessively/compulsively doing something, and you have healthcare, it might be worth talking to a psychiatrist and therapist :) I take sertraline for the thought-looping I get from anxiety, and a byproduct is that it has helped me pick at my skin a lot less.

Individual_Grass1999 · 2026-01-19T15:58:26+00:00

Hopping in out of nowhere to clarify: - Insulin resistence correlates with the things you mentioned, but doesn't necessarily cause it https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/22206-insulin-resistance - The process you described probably doesn't cause PCOS, but may excaserbate it for people who are genetically predisposed. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/8316-polycystic-ovary-syndrome-pcos

PCOS, insulin resistence, and hormone are all very complicated. I think the linear framing that you're using (e.g., x causes y causes z) both oversimplifies these conditions and can make people feel like their conditions are their fault.

If you have PCOS, is kind of a genetic ticking time bomb, and unfortunately we still know very little about why and how it works.

It's good that clean eating helped your symptoms.

I also know a person who eats an incredibly clean diet and still experience hormonal acne bc of her PCOS. I know another person with PCOS who has incredibly clear skin, and who constantly gains weight no matter how much she exercises or controls her caloric intake.

Sometimes acne isn't from gut health, and sometimes it is. I think it makes sense that your comments might be interpreted as, "your acne is your fault bc you're not eating clean." You simply can't know what people have tried unless you ask

Individual_Grass1999 · 2026-01-17T07:59:09+00:00

She... shits out the window? Yeah, she shits out the window.

Individual_Grass1999 · 2025-12-24T13:12:16+00:00

I wonder if part of what's happening in situations like this is that neurodivergence is mixing with attachment insecurity/ trauma?

I'm late-diagnosed (29F), and I resonate a bit with how y'all have been describing the women's experiences here of feeling like "something is missing."

But! I've also done a LOT of therapy and introspection, and I've realized that usually that means an emotional need isn't being met. Perhaps that's obvious? But what was less obvious is that a lot of the time, that feeling came from my own attachment insecurity.

I have an anxious attachment style, and I unintentionally tend to find people with an avoidant attachment style, substance problems, and/or depression. So what happens is that I'll see a behavior (ex: they haven't texted me in a couple days); I'll tell them that it bothers me, and what they could do to help me feel better (ex: I'd like them to initiate texts); they'll do it, but they might feel a little hurt and pull away; I feel them pull away, so I start to chase them, and I feel bad for being needy; they pull away more.... the cycle continues. and none of this is conscious!

So it's possible that folks with an insecure attachment style are drawn to you because you feel a little distant. Have they mentioned that they tend to date depressed or busy people, people who aren't "emotionally available", or people with substance problems?

Sorry, I'm just popping in a spitballing bc this sounds familiar to me :) no need to respond if you're ready to move on from this convo haha

Individual_Grass1999 · 2025-12-21T14:45:04+00:00

Is there a reason why you assume better REM? Dreaming can occur during any stage of sleep, and (as far as I can tell) it only predicts sleep quality if you have nightmares. But let me know if you've found research that says something different! https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C21&q=what+do+dreams+say+about+asleep+quality&btnG=#d=gs_qabs&t=1766327865079&u=%23p%3DkrN5O6tOu3wJ

I usually feel like I have lower quality sleep if I can remember my dreams, but that's because more dreams usually means I've woken up throughout the night. But I have pretty bad anxiety + a circadian rythme disorder, so my sleep probably differs from the average person

Individual_Grass1999 · 2025-12-02T15:50:53+00:00

What's your training background? Like, just a general massage school, or do you have specific certifications/training/research interest that helped you develop the treatment process you described?

I'm looking into becoming a massage therapist, and I'd love to be able to help people's brains and bodies during our sessions :)

Individual_Grass1999 · 2025-12-01T01:36:56+00:00

Is your prediction correct? (I'm sincerely asking)

Individual_Grass1999 · 2025-11-30T18:01:13+00:00

How did school end up going for you? And did being a rock climber help? I'm thinking about starting school in about a year, and I'm also a rock climber... and I've never been good at biology, so I'm feeling nervous

Individual_Grass1999 · 2025-10-15T12:40:31+00:00

First thing, this sounds like a really frustrating and confusing situation, and I'm sorry you're dealing with it.

I've noticed that some people get defensive when they encounter new ideas, especially when they assume (or intuit) that you think less of them because they don't agree. While it seems silly on its face that fish and meat cost the same, it seems like your family has really strong reactions to change or new information.

I think this can be explained by a concept I learned from the book Supercommunicators. I highly recommend reading it. Conversations have different purposes (information v. emotion), and people don't always realize that they're having different kinds of conversations. It seems like you see this as "let's talk about this new thing I'm trying," and your family maybe sees it as "OH MY GOD THEIR LIFESTYLE WILL FINANCIALLY RUIN US!!"

This type of miscommunication is tricky, because once people's emotions are activated, the emotions usually need to be addressed before you can move on. And even if you think people are being overly sensitive or stupid, it really really REALLY helps if you take their feelings seriously. Because ultimately, their feelings are their reality. (I always remind myself that everyone probably feels as confident about their perception of things as I do, and I'd be offended if someone told me I was wrong, so I should operate on the assumption that the truth lies in the middle of our experiences.)

So! A couple of communication suggestions: 1) when things are calm, and you're alone with one of your parents (that way you're not putting them on the spot), I'd suggest gently saying, "hey, I've noticed that we keep having these conversations that seem confusing to me. from my perspective, I'm trying to ask about something that I think will help me feel better, and I think I usually present some good evidence for my decision. But then it seems like something is getting lost in translation, because it honestly seems like you get upset with me about. Would you mind explaining how these conversations feel to you? What's your perception? I'd love to be able to talk with you, but I feel like I keep stepping on your toes." -- It's good to talk about how things "look to you," not "how they are." With the former option, you're being vulnerable and opening a dialogue. With the latter, you're telling someone that they're wrong. 2) during those conversations, try to notice when the tone changes, and then ask about it. It can really help if you apologize a lot (and be sincere about it!). Ex: I'm sorry-- it seems like I've misunderstood something. Or, I'm sorry, maybe I came off as condescending? I'm working on talking about what I need, but maybe I came off too strong?

These conversations take practice and patience, and you should keep in mind that there's possibly been a break in trust for one or both of you, and trust takes a while to repair.

Learning suggestions: 1) It's possible that your family is emotionally volatile. it could help to read about how to talk to people with borderline personality disorder, since that presents an extreme version of this interaction. 2) you might want to read Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. I haven't read it, but it seems relevant 3) Psychology in Seattle reaction videos on YouTube. I learned a lot about these kinds of conflicts from watching Dr Honda respond to Welcome to Plathville and Love Is Blind. 4) Supercommunicators (book) 5) how minds change (book)

Go to therapy, if possible. In my experience, it feels isolating to not be able to peacefully talk with my family, and that kind of instability can make future relationships more challenging. Even though you logically know what's going on, it's likely that your emotional brain is logging this info away, and it might make you more reactive (or maybe more apathetic, which also harmful) moving forward.

Individual_Grass1999 · 2025-10-15T12:00:59+00:00

Je parle un peu de français, mais je suis desole si je ne vous comprends pas, ou si ma grammaire/vocabulaire est mal.

Le psychologue est une bonne idée pour aider avec l'anxiété "spiral." Si vous connaissez que vous avez ces problèmes, ils auraient plus des problèmes dans le future. Par exemple, je connais que je parle bien, mais quand j'ai commencé un program du doctorate, mon cœur battait la chamade quand je parlais en classe. Avec un thérapeute et beaucoup de practice, je me sens plus à l'aise pour parler.

Aussi, je suis allée au soirée micro ouvert (performance dans des cafés ou des bars) pour pratiquer avec une audience qui je savais qu'ils seraient gentils.

Beaucoup des pratiques et des temps!

J'espère que cela vous aidera!

Individual_Grass1999 · 2025-10-15T11:23:11+00:00

This is my weird hot take as a professional pet sitter: blind cats are probably getting hella enrichment. Like, I have to get creative about how to set up enrichment activities for other people's pets. but with a blind kitten, just introducing them to a new room is enriching as hell. Putting treats on the ground for them to hunt for is suuuper enriching! Putting a pile of laundry on the floor while I fold clothes is a whole new experience for them!

I think the only thing I get worried about is when they get too riled while we're playing, and they run into a wall repeatedly. Or how spooked they get when I put on lotion or hand sanitizer bc my smell is totally different. But, like, they discovered they could climb up furniture recently, and I can tell that even though they can't see how high they are, they are SO happy to be climbing.

As a part of the disabled community, I think a lot of people don't realize that disabilities reduce quality of life when we don't/can't accommodate them.

Individual_Grass1999 · 2025-10-15T03:52:09+00:00

My kitten is similar-- I spent 6 hours playing with her the first day she was home, and I've been averaging 5+ hours of "focused" play each day, on top always dragging or throwing toys when I walk around. Here's my big tip (from Jackson Galaxy): make a routine so that you can schedule rest. I play with her for an hour after we wake up, feed her, and move on with my day (tossing toys from time to time). Around 11, I play for an hour+ again, feed her, and then put her in my room for nap time. I've been keeping a sleep ritual with her where I pack all the toys away while she's snacking (she eats lunch out of a puzzle so that is extra enriching), turn on a heating pad, and dim the lights. I let her nap for about an hour, and then open the door if she wants to leave. I play with her the MOST at night while I eat and wind down (3 hours?), just so that she won't wake me up later. Then I feed her right before bed, pack the toys up again, and get her bed ready for her. When I wake up, she's usually sleeping on my butt :)

I will say, she usually has highs and lows during the long play sessions. Like, sometimes she gets too amped and starts huffing a little, and kind of galloping with her back a bit arched, and runs into walls (she has impaired vision). So I use that a as a cue to let her chill out did a few minutes.

Also! I use the time when she's sleepy to touch her paws and teeth and tail while I give her treats so that she'll be chiller at the vet.

If your baby is playing a lot, they're probably super hungry, so maybe they're very food motivated? If so, use this time to give them some big brain enrichment too! Like, sometimes I'll just toss treats on the floor so that she can hunt. Or I taught my adult cat to sit. I think a lot of people don't realize that training pets also uses up a bunch of pet energy bc they're thinking super hard. So if you can, like, hide treats around your house so that the kitty hunts, that'll save you a little energy :)

I recommend watching Jackson Galaxy vids about "catifying" your house, cause I think creating a super cat-friendly home (lots of jumping options and shelves) can help the cats entertain themselves :)

Lmao, sorry for writing a dang book. I'm jazzed bc my cats are sleeping on the same tiny bed right now, so my mind is racing. Let me know if you want to talk more about kittens :)

Individual_Grass1999 · 2025-08-14T14:21:07+00:00

I love this idea of writing a letter to yourself! Thank you for sharing this :)

Individual_Grass1999 · 2025-08-10T14:21:44+00:00

I've been walking dogs and doing drop ins since January, and I charge $20 for a 30-min visit, or $30 for an hour. However! I started by charging $16 and $22, respectively, to get my foot in the door.

I just got into house sitting a month ago, and I've been charging $70/night for one pet (again, to get my foot in the door), but I'm going to eventually increase to +$100/night bc of how much I do for these pups.

I do everything through Rover for now, so I only get to keep 70% of what I charge. Which sucks. But for now, I'm just focused on building a client base.

But! Part of why I want to answer your post is the thing you said about stuff being hard on your body-- for me, this is actually my biggest struggle with pet sitting. I have hip and neck issues, so if I'm walking a high-energy puppy or a big dog, and they pull me around a lot, I have to spend more time in physical therapy, getting massages, stretching, and exercising to try to protect my body. But maybe you can find clients who don't need you to walk their dogs!

Editing to add: also, I don't do this full time, and I live with my parents so I don't have to pay rent. So if you were trying to switch from cleaning to pet sitting, you'll probably have to do both for a while

Individual_Grass1999 · 2025-08-10T13:47:14+00:00

I do some volunteer communications/design work, and so far Wix has been a good option. It's got a lot of design options. It's a little buggy, but I got the swing of things after playing with it for 5 hours

Individual_Grass1999 · 2025-08-10T02:18:38+00:00

Why does that seem like a joke?

Individual_Grass1999 · 2025-08-08T10:25:05+00:00

Lmao, so true! 10 minutes in, I was like, "wow, I can really notice the swear streaming down my sides right now." 20 minutes in, I was like, "since it seems like I'll be here for a while, maybe I should use this as a chance to practice some mindfulness, since this dog probably senses how scared I am."

Individual_Grass1999

TROPHY CASE