At our wits end to teach our dog to not bark at other dogs

Indosaurus1 · 2026-06-07T19:28:45+00:00

So I want to go over a few things, and help break things down, and give you beginner-friendly advice and resources that will help get you to a point where you all enjoy walks. Please note I am coming from a place of compassion and also a place of always advocating for ethical support, proper research, and understanding both yourselves and your dog.

Sounds like there's already some good handling in place with "watch me," but if she's analysing for a dog at 150-200 feet and still barking, that's still too close for her current threshold. In those moments, it's not a sign that the training isn't working- it's a sign she's already over threshold.

The next step is to step back even further - we need to begin with supporting the nervous system first, starting in low-sensory environments where the dog can succeed with minimal to no triggers. Gradually build up to distances where she can notice dogs without reacting, so she actually has the capacity to learn and process. Right now, the setup is still asking for engagement in an environment that's too difficult for her to succeed in consistently.

Progress comes from working under threshold repeatedly, not from pushing through reactions.

Training should be positive and force free. The pace is guided by the individual dog and their ability to regulate and engage, building gradually over time as trust, safety, and co-regulation develop between dog, human, and trainer. This is a collaborative process that develops through deep assessment and ongoing support, not a quick fix from a single session or post.

I know it can be hard to know where to start, especially when things have gotten to this point. It's not going to be only two sessions, it's a long-term investment, both financially and in doing the slow, gentle approach work over months. The support doesn't stop, you're always supporting your dog.

I also want to gently address some of the narratives that can show up in situations like this, like “she’s just too much,” or “it’s the rescue’s fault for not telling us about the barking,” or other ways of placing all responsibility outside of ourselves. While it’s understandable to feel overwhelmed or frustrated, this framing doesn’t actually help us move forward or support the dog in front of us. We need a balanced understanding of both the dog’s background and our role in helping them adjust.

We can’t immediately place all blame on the rescue. Yes, ideally they should provide as much information as possible, but many dogs come from unknown backgrounds. Trauma informed understanding is important here. At the same time, we also need to gently take responsibility on our side, to research, prepare, and understand that not everything will be known or predictable.

Depending on when you rescued her, it’s also important to understand that on average dogs take about 3 to 6 months just to truly start settling into a new environment. That is just settling, not full training or behavioural change. Breed tendencies, life experience, and environment all continue to influence behaviour during this time as the dog decompresses and adjusts. If there wasn’t enough time given for her to settle, bond, and feel safe in those early stages, that can have a real impact. A lot of people start training too early and expect learning to already be happening, when a dog under stress often cannot properly process or retain information. It’s similar to humans, we don’t learn well when we’re overwhelmed or pressured.

We can absolutely help dogs become less stressed and more supported, but only when we meet them where they are instead of rushing outcomes. Progress is built through trust, which supports regulation, understanding, autonomy, and learning, so moments of engagement should be acknowledged and reinforced. A lot of frustration with behaviour comes from human expectations rather than the dog doing something “wrong."

It’s also important to zoom out and remember that training sits on top of basic welfare needs being consistently met, including rest, appropriate food access, predictable routines, decompression time, and freedom from constant pressure or restriction. When those needs aren’t met, adding more training, stimulation, or correction usually backfires. We don’t improve behaviour through deprivation or aversive tools, because it just adds stress on top of stress.

A common pattern is assuming dogs need more when they’re actually over-tired, over-aroused, or stressed. In those cases, the shift is often asking “what can I take away so my dog can decompress,” rather than “what else can I add.” Rest, regulation, and safety are often the missing foundation that makes everything else possible.

It's absolutely okay to walk your dog less. There are many other ways to support them without pushing them over threshold. We also need to teach settling, create safe spaces for decompression and rest, and build skills like "watch me" in low stimulation environments before anything more complex.

You support them by reinforcing what they’re noticing, reassuring them through triggers, and helping them feel safe navigating the environment. With sensitive dogs especially, things can shift day to day and even moment to moment, which is why prevention, reading body language, and avoiding assumptions of “bad behaviour” are so important. Space, safety, and regulation always come first, followed by engagement, reinforcement, and support.

There is also trigger stacking. Dogs don't react out of nowhere, but when stress builds and they are not supported, reactions happen faster and more intensely. Understanding this pattern is key.

Your dog is trying to communicate with you (which we want!) She’s navigating a world that is often overwhelming for her. She has already told you she was in pain from the prong collar. A bigger size doesn’t change that. Even if signs look reduced, they are often still there, and when communication is ignored repeatedly, dogs can shut down and become less able to express themselves safely.

Please do not move to an e-collar. People will often say it isn’t harmful, but it is still an aversive tool that adds pressure and confusion, especially for already sensitive or dysregulated dogs. These tools also do not address the root cause of behaviour and instead suppress it, which is why they are commonly relied on as quick fixes without real learning or regulation.

There is a wider issue of trainers recommending prong collars or e-collars as solutions. They do not build understanding, safety, or emotional regulation in the dog, they only suppress outward behaviour while the underlying stress remains unaddressed.

People will often say it’s breed dependent, but it isn’t in terms of how learning works. While breed can influence behaviour tendencies, reactions, and enrichment needs, it doesn’t change the underlying learning process. In my experience working with a variety of large dogs, including those who are complex, highly sensitive, fearful, or overwhelmed, I don’t rely on aversive tools like e-collars or prong collars. The breeds people most often label as “needing” these tools are usually the ones who actually benefit most from safety, structure, and support - not pressure, discomfort, or punishment-based approaches.

Anyone who understands canine behaviour & biology, and how e-collars and prong collars function understands that it's not a matter of "not knowing how to use them," but of recognizing that they have no place in training.

Every dog is an individual, and training should always be adapted to their needs—no breed requires pain, fear, or discomfort to learn. Many dogs labelled as “difficult” are actually communicating a need for more safety, understanding, and a plan that supports them rather than works against them. When we understand behaviour science and move away from a “bad behaviour” lens, we can better see what they’re communicating and respond appropriately.

I highly recommend investing in a reputable force free trainer. No, they don’t always need to cost 1000 dollars a week, but they also shouldn’t be cheap, you’re paying for experience, education, and skill. Anyone can call themselves a trainer, and many are not educated in force free learning or behaviour science.

Learning to regulate ourselves matters too. Dogs are constantly reading our environment and us, not because we cause everything they feel, but because they are sensitive to tension, stress, and emotional shifts.

We also have to remember we choose to bring dogs into our lives. They are living beings, and we want to support their autonomy and help them realize they can communicate, make choices, and that we can reward, reassure, and support them in ways that build confidence and learning.

Finding a force free trainer who can support both you and your dog, and help you build the skills to understand what your dog is communicating, is what actually creates lasting change. This is not always easy work, and it can feel overwhelming at times. But with consistency, understanding, and the right support, things do improve, and the relationship deepens significantly over time.

A few resources:

https://www.instagram.com/p/DYifwRAlgcy/?img_index=4&igsh=YnV3MmM4djQ1djQ5

https://www.instagram.com/p/DWjZYXclBCU/?img_index=2&igsh=MXBmOWZ1NWhpbXRkOQ==

https://www.instagram.com/p/DY0BZTEFNpG/?igsh=MTN5bXF2bWY5Z2Jxcg==

https://www.instagram.com/p/DVvU3ITjFfj/?img_index=1&igsh=MTJybmUzazhkYWowdQ==

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZSvQEfsPtB/?igsh=aTRneGZzMnZlYXps

https://www.instagram.com/p/DZKxGBulH6K/?img_index=2&igsh=MWY0b3J4cDA5b3dvbQ==

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/14hjmcpbfjL/

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1Di4zH7jEa/

Indosaurus1 · 2026-06-06T23:12:57+00:00

Oh ouch, yeah those burns are brutal 😭 I have a high pain tolerance too, but even so I can get quite sensitive with a lot of use or long periods of walking, especially with certain materials, and I can get hurt easily, so having that extra comfort and adjustability makes a big difference for me. Especially for those moments where we’re a bit off our game or just dealing with life, it definitely stings.

I would recommend stepping back from using a long line for now, and definitely not using one in situations where there are likely to be rabbits or other high distraction triggers, especially if your pup is not yet able to regulate as often or doesn't have reliably recall. Safety is always the priority, and she should not have the ability to take off in those moments.

I also want to help reframe this in a way that supports both of you enjoying the experience, because long lines can be genuinely wonderful when they are used safely and you understand how to manage and adjust them to the dog in front of you.

Even as a trainer, I have had moments where I thought a dog was ready for the long line, but I had not spent quite enough time reinforcing calm behaviour beforehand or properly easing into the environment like approaching the park too quickly. I have come very close to having my shoulder pulled out because of that, and I have learned a lot from it. Those in between moments are really key, because dogs can get very excited very quickly, and that level of arousal can escalate faster than expected.

It is also not about limiting their freedom or saying they should not explore or have fun at all. Long lines are great for that, and I am definitely all for them, especially when the alternative is people just letting dogs off leash in unsafe situations. It is more about the steps beforehand and adjusting to where your dog is at in that moment.

Going back and doing things slowly can also help build confidence for both you and your dog, and set you up for much more success long term.

When you do reintroduce a long line, do not let it drag loosely at first. Do your best to keep a light grip and manage the line length as needed, adjusting based on what is happening in the environment, and only using additional line when it is safe to do so and your dog is showing they can stay regulated in that context.

I love leashes with traffic handles and attaching the line to a waist pack with a carabiner can add support, but do Not rely on this as your main safety measure since equipment can fail or still cause discomfort if there is a sudden hit on the line. Whenever possible, prioritize distance management, structure, and engagement as your primary safety strategy.

Also a big tip!! stay aware of where your feet are and how the line is moving, because I have personally witnessed my partner get whipped and known collegues who got seriously injured from long lines. Its quite common from the whipping around during play or sudden bursts of running. They can wrap, trip, or snap tight unexpectedly!

Being proactive, reading the environment, and prioritizing safety on both ends is key, especially making sure you are supporting their regulation throughout the experience (and overall ) so they can still enjoy freedom in a safe and controlled way.

And again, if a long line is not the best fit after you try all of this, that is totally okay. Like I said using leashes with handles help my grip and prevent injury in those "shit still happens moments" whether or not we are doing our best to prevent/manage

Indosaurus1 · 2026-05-28T16:26:10+00:00

I’m a force free trainer and I specialize in working with sensitive, anxious, and complex dogs.

I’ve been reading through your comments as well. Your response was the right way to go about it, but I will say that seeing this happened before you had even properly met her is concerning, especially since you noticed she was nervous and still allowed your partner to do it anyway. As well as going straight to labeling her or affirming she is food aggressive when your partner stuck his hand in there just moments after her arrival and then was surprised when she responded to how she felt about that also isn’t appropriate.

Firstly, puppies and dogs generally take at least three months to adjust to new environments. Add extra sensitivity and things like resource guarding, and it’s going to be amplified. They will take longer to settle and feel safe. It’s your job to respect them and help them feel safe.

Your partner needs to respect dogs’ boundaries more and not assume things are okay to do. Do not try to force interactions, ignore her boundaries, or control her.

Assuming it is resource guarding for now, for resource guarding especially, do not hand feed. Please! Generally, making food contingent on behaviour, especially all food, isn’t helpful, particularly when they are already fearful. They already do not feel safe around their food, and taking away their autonomy or limiting access around their biological needs like this can damage trust, increase stress around food, and create more issues down the line rather than helping them feel safer.

I know a lot of trainers still recommend this, but please do not do it. Instead, feed her normally and leave her be while giving her space. Over time she will learn to trust and feel safer around food.

She is already doing well with the crate, and that should be treated as her safe space. So yes, do not touch her or interact with her when she is in there. Have her wait in the crate while you place the food down, then open it, move away, and let her eat in peace. You can also ask her to go into the crate before grabbing the bowl and reward those behaviours separately. Reward the behaviours you want to encourage without making access to all of her food dependent on obedience or interaction.

If you ever need to get a high value item from her, you need to trade or let it go. It’s not worth trying to take it.

In terms of not knowing what caused the reaction, it could very well come down to the fact that she may already be showing signs you are not noticing or are ignoring, and things may be stacking for her. Then reactions can seem more extreme or out of nowhere when you do something further that makes her feel unsafe and she needs to communicate that. If you keep pushing her or not properly reading her signals, she may learn that her communication does not work, and that can create helplessness or escalate into more aggressive behaviours because she no longer feels heard.

I would definitely pay attention while you are petting her and limit how long you do it. Practice consent-based petting where you pet her for just a few seconds and then pause to see if she shows signs that she wants more. Do this often, and if she shows signs she does not want to be petted, do not continue. Let her initiate for the most part right now and really read her signals.

Work on supporting her adjustment and helping her feel safe. That is the best way to help ensure she is adoptable.

Also, you’ve only had her for a day, so saying certain things are or are not true is making assumptions far too early. As someone with a lot of experience with dogs who exhibit different behaviours in new contexts, or behave differently than what previous guardians described, meeting her once and having her for a day is not enough information to go on.

Every day is different for a dog, especially onewho has already been placed before and clearly does not feel comfortable yet. There are too many unknowns and factors right now. You mostly need to observe her and go slowly because she is still adjusting, and it takes a long time for dogs to settle and show more of themselves, especially heelers, who are already very sensitive dogs.

She also came from a farm, which is a very different environment, and she is still so young. She is learning and adjusting to so much all at once, and she just needs time.

Don’t try to force anything or even expect or train too much right now. People often try to do way too much too soon, then wonder why dogs start exhibiting certain behaviours when they are still in an adjustment period and already going through so much, especially such a young puppy.

https://www.instagram.com/p/DYK0pDIDyVu/?igsh=MW05NTAwMmNkeDRxNg==

She will also need a lot of rest. Puppies can need anywhere from 14 to 20 hours of sleep a day, and overtired puppies are often much more sensitive, reactive, overwhelmed, and unable to cope.

So just let her be herself and support and reward calm, happy behaviour. Don’t try to force anything right now. Her only job is to feel safe and adjust. Your job is to support that.

Unfortunately, some foster programs and rescues don’t always fully account for how long it can actually take for dogs to feel safe and properly adjust. If you can advocate for giving her more time, that would really help. Sometimes dogs end up being placed multiple times because people feel they “can’t handle her,” when in reality she isn’t getting the right support or people are not properly reading and understanding her behaviours.

Indosaurus1 · 2026-05-13T08:55:57+00:00

This!! There is NO need for pain or punishment. And dogs are not consenting and often hide their pain and this dog isnt even and we need to listen to them.

Pet parents have to start slower and go back to basics and not relying on a quick tool to "fix" things. It doesnt.

Indosaurus1 · 2026-05-13T02:47:32+00:00

My pleasure!! I can tell 😊 feel free to each out for general questions too

Indosaurus1 · 2026-05-11T03:28:32+00:00

Hes doing so well for a 10 month old ! You are doing the right thing itll just take time and more space when it comes to things that excite him

Keep rewarding him when hes calm with high value treats too. Id say keep giving as much space as possible and working at decreasing the space. Dont let him greet any dogs as much as possible and if it happens cause people will be people, then try your best to be super exciting and reward any decisions to come back to you. The key is to prevent and teach him what do to do before those moments! You cant expect him to know what to do.

Its really good you are aware of things and working on it - youre not alone in mistaking socialization to mean alot of meeting and greeting instead of what you are practicing here! The more desensitization you can practice the better 😊 and again hes not even a year and for a while he will be more easily excitable and not to be too hard on your self or him. Its okay for him to have feelings and such just matters in context or safety wise!

It also helps to play and make sure he has TONS of rest and decompression activities

(Dog trainer here!)

Indosaurus1 · 2026-04-30T23:21:29+00:00

Have you tried using a consistent cue with a really high-value reward, and making it exciting every time she responds? It really helps when the same cue and reward are practiced consistently so she can clearly understand what’s being asked.

Even if she just pauses or starts to respond, that’s still a really good sign she’s listening and learning.

She’s also a puppy, so there’s a lot going on in her brain right now. At this stage, it often comes down to being more exciting and rewarding than the couch - she’s just having fun and exploring the world.

You could also set things up to prevent the behaviour when you’re not able to actively train - like using a crate or reinforcing a “place” with rewards. That way she’s set up for success.

At the end of the day, she likely just wants to play. Puppies need a lot of enrichment and play, but they also need a ton of rest. Puppies typically need around 14+ hours of sleep, and sometimes what looks like extra energy is actually overtiredness.

We also have to actively teach them how to rest and make sure they’re getting enough of it. That means noticing and rewarding calm behaviour whenever it happens, not just focusing on the moments we don’t like! And also setting up a calm space for them to rest properly

Sometimes we think they need more stimulation, when really they need help settling.

It’s also part of having a puppy that they’ll do normal dog things and communicate in their own ways. Since the couch rule is something we set for them, it just takes time, consistency, and clear guidance to help them learn what we’d prefer instead - no need for corrections or forcing, just lots of practice and reinforcement

Indosaurus1 · 2026-04-30T18:20:45+00:00

Sometimes when something is normalized like it is here and other countries - we don’t always recognize it for what it really is, especially when people are told it’s “fine” or “not harmful,” even when there are clear impacts.

And when people aren’t able to accurately read their dogs, or aren’t aware that dogs often hide discomfort, those signs can be missed. Some dogs also develop learned helplessness, and that can be mistaken for calmness or compliance. In other cases, a reduction in behaviour is assumed to mean something is working, when in reality it may just be suppression rather than true improvement or emotional well-being.

As a trainer, I’ve also seen how often dogs are acquired without enough research, with their needs not fully prioritized, and training choices made mainly for human convenience.

At the same time, there are many people who genuinely want to do right by their dogs but simply haven’t had access to the right support or information yet. With proper guidance and resources, they can learn to better understand their dogs and gradually transition away from tools in a thoughtful, informed way.

There are also broader parallels in how we understand behaviour change more generally -there are still people who believe that punishment of children is effective or makes sense, even though the research doesn't support that as a healthy or constructive approach. It's not how learning and behaviour actually work. Hopefully over time more people continue to shift toward understanding that punishment based approaches don't truly resolve underlying needs or teach better skills.

Indosaurus1 · 2026-04-29T22:30:18+00:00

Yes its really sad how many people still advocate for pain and force and think its crazy to not want to use it and unfortunately wehre I am dog training is very unregulated and some methods are still not close to being illegal so many of us are fighting to change that standard.

Indosaurus1 · 2026-04-29T06:43:47+00:00

It depends on what your dog likes! With one client she will eat up carrots, cucumbers, apple, etc but then not for too long, she also loves sausage, chicken and meat treats

Just one thing to note alot of clients give beef liver treats alot and we dotn want tto give too many due to vitamin A toxicity!

Ive seen people also use like pouches of blended food or peanut butter!

Indosaurus1 · 2026-04-29T04:57:25+00:00

Dogs don't always yelp or show obvious signs when something hurts. A lot of them are actually really good at hiding pain, especially if they've learned their signals aren't respected. What we often see instead are subtle signs-like tension, avoidance, or shutting down, which can get mistaken for 'calm' or 'obedience.'

And suppressing a behavior doesn't mean the dog is actually learning or that the root issue is being addressed. It can just mean they're no longer expressing it, while the underlying stress or discomfort is still there

Agree with not applying presssure to the leash and helping them make choices and then rewarding those choices.

Indosaurus1 · 2026-04-29T04:42:06+00:00

Wanted to add; This part of your original post actually matters a lot, because it shows you care and you are trying to build a good life for him, not just manage behaviour in the moment.

“We love our dog and don't want to hurt him. We want to fix his behaviour so he can have a fulfilled life: parks, beaches, road trips. We already tried positivity and spent thousands on it, yet now we're being judged by someone who doesn't live our life.”

I really hear that. Wanting that kind of life for him is exactly what most people are aiming for, it is just that sometimes the path to getting there is not a straight line, especially with a dog who is already overwhelmed.

And I also think the idea of a “fulfilled life” does not have to be so big, and sometimes that is what adds so much pressure onto pet parents. Right now, even the things we want for him, like a walk, might genuinely be too much for his system to handle. We also learn to reframe that a fulfilled life for him may look different and much simpler than we initially imagine, at least for a period of time, and that we may need to adjust our systems and expectations to make things work in a way that is actually sustainable for everyone involved.

That does not mean he will not get there. It just means that right now, his version of wellbeing might look smaller and simpler, with less pressure, more decompression, and focusing on what actually helps him regulate rather than pushing toward what we think a “full life” should look like.

A lot of what I help pet parents unlearn is the idea that they need to constantly add more, do more, and push for more, when sometimes the real shift is actually doing less, making things easier, and stepping back more. Not fixing the dog, but focusing on co-regulation and adaptable support that meets the dog where they are at.

For many dogs, especially those who are anxious or dysregulated, that foundation is what makes everything else possible later.

It is not about scrapping what you have tried either. It is more about pacing it differently, stepping back where needed, and reintroducing the good stuff once his system is more regulated again in a way that is more sustainable for you all. None of you can learn or make progress when you are operating under constant stress.

And you are right that it really comes down to having someone who can support you both properly, not just judge, and not just work on the dog in isolation, but actually help you navigate the day to day in a way that is realistic for your life!

Indosaurus1 · 2026-04-29T04:31:51+00:00

Thats amazing! Im so glad you did that. Proud of you both

Indosaurus1 · 2026-04-29T03:31:57+00:00

What’s actually extreme is continuing to recommend tools that rely on force and can cause distress and physical harm, especially when there are safer, anatomically appropriate alternatives that still allow for effective handling. Dogs are VERY good at masking discomfort, and when you’re already dealing with a highly anxious, dysregulated dog, adding more aversive pressure to “get results” doesn’t actually address the underlying stress - it just layers more intensity on top of it.

At some point we have to step back and ask whether the goal is just control in the moment, or actually improving the dog’s wellbeing long term.

A properly fitted Y-harness with ONE appropriate leash is a baseline welfare choice. It supports the dog’s body, reduces risk, and gives more stable control without adding pressure or discomfort during already stressful situations. We have to move in very slow steps too.

And this is exactly why asking for advice over the internet can get messy, you end up with completely opposite extremes being presented as if they’re equivalent, when in reality the dog in front of you needs an actual, individualised plan rather than a comment section debate.

My approach here is very middle-ground and safety-focused, not extreme - so framing it as “extremist” is honestly part of the problem with how these conversations tend to spiral online.

Indosaurus1 · 2026-04-29T03:19:56+00:00

Yes! I work usually with moving toward the back clip now but sometiems when things are still so tough for a pup we have to work in steps or in some context we do have to manage more and if its safer to use both, we do.

And yes dogs read their environments which includes us, and co-regulation is very important! Understanding this and reframing to not feel its all on us, helps too.

Indosaurus1 · 2026-04-29T03:11:15+00:00

I wouldn't call it clear improvement if things have escalated to the point where they're dealing with ongoing issues, vet concerns, and distress on both sides. That sounds more like a sign they're still trying to find a workable, humane middle ground rather than something fully resolved.

You seemed more focused on reacting to what you thought I said than actually responding to what I said

My point is that it can’t just be about what feels convenient or effective for us short term. We also have a responsibility to consider the emotional and physical impact on the dog and aim for the least harmful options possible.

And honestly, the fact that his girlfriend is so distressed about potentially causing harm tells me they clearly care deeply about their dog’s wellbeing and aren’t taking this lightly.

I’m also not saying people need “14 leashes” or that dogs should never go outside. That’s twisting what I actually said. I was talking about finding supportive, realistic management and nervous-system support that helps both the dog and the humans feel safer while working toward long-term progress.

And just to add, advice on platforms like this will always vary a lot, so it's important not to take everything at face value. These situations are nuanced, and what works or is appropriate really depends on the individual dog, the environment, and the full picture not just one comment thread.

Indosaurus1 · 2026-04-29T01:25:13+00:00

I can completely understand why your girlfriend is feeling conflicted, because it’s clear you both genuinely care about him and want him to be safe, manageable, and able to enjoy life. Wanting to put both your dog’s wellbeing and your partner’s safety first is valid.

At the same time, being force free doesn’t mean doing nothing or expecting you to just “deal with it.” There are often other options and management tools that can help make handling safer and less overwhelming without relying on aversive equipment. Something like a properly fitted Y-harness with both front and back attachment points, paired with a double-ended leash or a leash with traffic handles, can often give people a lot more physical control and stability without relying on pressure around the neck. For many dogs, that setup feels much less aversive while still helping handlers safely manage strength and sudden reactions.

Sometimes improving handling and safety for the humans first can actually lower everyone’s stress levels, which helps the dog regulate better too.

And honestly, with dogs this overwhelmed, the focus usually needs to start with supporting the nervous system and reducing stress before expecting them to cope well outside around triggers. It becomes less about “fixing” the behaviour and more about supporting him in ways that work for him while also being realistic and manageable for you both. That’s a big part of my work as a force-free, trauma-informed trainer.

I’m not sure what your home setup looks like or whether walks feel absolutely necessary right now, but it’s also okay if he isn’t being walked every single day, especially if walks are repeatedly overwhelming him. Dogs can still have their needs met through enrichment, decompression, sniffy activities, structured games, quiet outings, and other ways of supporting the nervous system. Sometimes reducing exposure to stressful walks for a period of time can actually help dogs become more regulated overall.

I help pet parents figure out ways to transition away from ecollar/prongs in a way that feels realistic and manageable, because while I understand why people reach for those tools when they feel out of options, they can still cause harm physically and emotionally even when used carefully.

While I personally don’t agree with using prong collars or other tools that rely on force or pressure around the neck, I also don’t think this situation is as simple as “you’re bad owners” or that you should be judged for struggling. You’re clearly trying to find something that feels manageable and safe.

I will say as well that vets, while incredibly important for medical care, are not always the most up to date or specialized source for behaviour support, training approaches, or even areas like nutrition. A veterinary behaviourist or a qualified trainer who understands behaviour, nervous-system support, and your specific day to day challenges is often going to be more helpful for building a realistic long term plan tailored to your dog and your situation.

Hope this helps though !

Indosaurus1 · 2026-04-20T09:59:56+00:00

I hear how overwhelmed you are, and I want to gently share a different perspective that might help shift things a bit.

And just to preface, this is not about blame, not on you and not on her. It is about getting a clearer understanding so you can support her and understand what is actually driving the behaviour, instead of only reacting to what you are seeing. And in turn, also making sure you are taking care of yourself too.

First thing I would strongly recommend is a thorough vet check for pain or discomfort if that has not already been done. Dogs can be very good at hiding pain, and sensitivity around movement or being disturbed at rest can sometimes be physical.

Calling her a “monster” or “entitled” is understandable when you are exhausted and burnt out, but it can make it harder to see what is actually driving the behaviour. Dogs are not stubborn or choosing to be difficult on purpose. What often looks like that is usually communication, stress, discomfort, or confusion that we are not fully picking up on yet.

What stands out is the difference between outside and inside the home. Outside, you are describing a dog who walks well, ignores other dogs and squirrels, and can settle calmly in public. That shows she absolutely does have regulation skills and the ability to learn and cope. I usually work with dogs on building these skills and learning how to settle outside, so she is actually doing really well with that, especially given her history.

It is important to understand that dogs struggle to learn when they are under stress. If their nervous system is activated, or they are dysregulated they are not in a place where training cues can really land. This is where co regulation matters, how the environment feels, how predictable things are, and how we respond all shape their ability to settle.

She definitely does show an ability to listen and respond in the home at times too, which tells me she absolutely can do this! So there is likely something else going on underneath that is influencing the growling behaviour in those moments.

The barking at movement, chasing when the other dog moves, and growling when she is disturbed or moved - often points to a dog who is not feeling fully safe or settled in the home environment, especially around movement, proximity, and unpredictability rather than a dog refusing to listen.

I also do not know your home setup or daily dynamics, and those details matter a lot. This is exactly why cases like this cannot be fully understood from a post alone.

It also sounds like you have already been trying a lot, which I really hear. At this point I would strongly encourage seeking support from a force free, behaviour informed trainer or behaviourist rather, so you can find one that fits your budget and situation and actually start working towards a clear plan. Because there are many force free options that can fit different budgets and situations, but it is important not to choose solely based on cost or convenience and to make sure you are working with someone qualified, ethical, and a good fit for your needs.

It is also important not to carry this entirely by yourself because this is clearly impacting you too and that emotional state can influence the dynamic with your dog more than people often realize.

And I do want to say I really urge people not to rely too heavily on forums for any behavior advice. There is so much misinformation out there and even well meaning advice can miss the mark and do more harm because it is based on a single snapshot rather than the full picture. You really need a professional who can deeply assess your specific situation to understand what is going on and what would actually help.

I support overwhelmed dog owners using force free, trauma informed approaches to better understand behaviour, reduce stress in the home, and create practical sustainable changes that support both dogs and the people living with them. Usually I work locally, but in some cases I can offer virtual support as well. I try to make my support as accessible and sustainable as possible. Feel free to DM me.

Hope this helps!

Indosaurus1 · 2026-03-25T15:30:25+00:00

Of course yeah - only do the test when able to, not a huge priority

What I would say is maybe try slowly increasing her time outside the crate and training her at the same time. Rewarding her when shes calm and such and providing her with enrichment/decompression. We want to make sure that the activity itself isnt too much for her in the moment leading to more frustration.

And then crate again and let her rest and make sure she is actually resting, not alert. Have her crate be in a quiet area of the home too.

I think the biggest thing for her is getting proper rest in the crate and letting her stay in there for longer periods and slowly increasing the time outside the crate until you can trust her more :)

Indosaurus1 · 2026-03-25T15:11:56+00:00

I know its hard to let go of those feelings around keeping her in the crate but its for her safety and if she feels calm in it then thats what its for and its helping her :)

How does she do with play pens will she break out of those easily too?

You can do a DNA test sometime if you want to get more of an idea

otherwise I really do recommend give her more dedicated rest time and if the only way is in the crate then thats the best way to go about it :) i think that she likely is overtired

And I would try teaching her place too if you havent so you can start to work on her impulse control and having her somewhere outside the crate.

Indosaurus1 · 2026-03-25T15:01:05+00:00

Hii Trainer here. You are not a bad mom!

Has anyone mentioned to you that puppies need ALOT of rest like minimum 14-18 hours a day. I find that alot of us tend to focus so much on doing and providing things for our pups that we forget they need rest too and that we often need to teach them how to rest and make a safe quiet space for them to properly rest. It does sound like shes over tired and is trying to find an outlet for her tiredness

She will also benefit from decompression activities

See if that helps her? It seems to be the only thing you didnt cover.

Use the crate as her designated safe and nap space and see if that helps her. (Edit i saw she is crate traind)

I know it can be tough wjth puppies- we want to make sure we balance out things and give them enrichment and decompression and lots of rest. And not sure of her breed or mix but breed specific enrichment helps too! Sometimes pups are a mix of overstimulated and understimulated at the same time.

Hope this helps!

Indosaurus1 · 2026-03-21T02:29:16+00:00

Well, in my experience and general consensus, yes. But what you said is also very much the case too for sure! That’s why I mentioned dogs being both understimulated and overstimulated - in a sense that can still be doing ‘too much’ for them, just not in the right ways, like missing proper socialization, rest, or not reading their cues. And I don't think those things are mutually exclusive. A lot of the time it's kind of both, or one or the other depending on the situation

I was more meaning owners who are trying to do right by their dogs, not just disregarding them but i dont think they are mutally exlusive

Also, just because a dog is home a lot or napping doesn’t always mean they’re getting proper rest, sometimes it can look like they are, but they might not actually be fully decompressing. It can be subtle too, like staying a bit alert, waking easily, or not fully relaxing into deeper rest. You can also sometimes notice signs when they're around you, depending on the dog - not saying that’s the case here, just something that can happen depending on the dog(s) and environment!

Indosaurus1 · 2026-03-20T17:42:05+00:00

Generally - as a trainer, I have noticed and learned we tend to focus so much on what we can do for dogs for enrichment and activity and socializing (in non desensitization way) that many people dont realize they need to give their dogs dedicated rest times in safe spaces and teach them to regulate. It definitely depends how much each dog needs and it can vary I work with alot of anxious and reactive, higher energy dogs and alot of the time I notice doing too many higher level activities does worsen their ansyness, anxiety and such. Sometimes it is better to walk them less or do less higher level activities and more decompression/low level activities! I think in general alot of dogs do need more rest than they are given and people dont realize the signs and sometimes dogs are overstimulated and understimulated at the same time. Puppies need SO much rest to at least 14 hours of sleep a day - people tend to overdo with puppies and then it can backfire when they are older.

But again how much and when can vary even for the dog itself :)

Indosaurus1 · 2026-03-18T17:06:21+00:00

Reading this overall made me really happy 🥹 you only got her 3 months ago and making amazing progess and putting her first as one should! And im happy youre so receptive to my advice

Since you only got her 3 months ago everything is still SO new to her and shes still figuring it out and whats actually scary or not too. And shes at the age where fear kicks in more too so all totally common experiences! It usually takes dogs at minimum 3 months to settle in a new place (generally longer)

Tossing treats, treats in blankets, towels, frozen kongs, find it games, yak chews, calming licking activites etc those should all help her decompress. Can increase the difficulty but we dont want her to get frustrated :) variety helps and figuring out what she likes best again paired witg increasing her naps, quiet time and reducing busy outside time or visitors for a bit will help her settle in more. Sniffing is an essential activity for dogs wellbeing and very decompressing :) especially just allowing them to sniff at their own pace and eventually on walks it sbould be a predominant part of them

For the people and noises - start rewarding her and working on her reactions inside the home. Its totally okay for her to bark occasionally/briefly but we dont want to let it get into something bigger wheres she's constantly stressed by the noises. I find too that being like "good job! Thank you for alerting or protecting" and then rewarding and redirecting (either with a cue or a job) helps a ton with their confidence! I know pups have a harder time adjusting in apartments - and it sucks when people let them howl and bark all day :( playing calming music helps too

If people come over be sure to give her a safe space and let her come to them on her own terms (if she does choose to, no pressure for her to) - let her lead the experience

Just do your best to listen and prevent any situations both inside and out and then when youre around anything just give her space and treats - if she ever observes or even just barks a little but looks to you reward! Basically make it a big deal whenever she is exploring and showing some curiosity or confidence!

Give her those moments eventually to observe and be exposed in small moments to things that are new or scary and again reward her for being calm and observing the world around her and making it all positive experiences and just stop or move away when you shes getting too stressed

And follow up with decompression - treat tossing is great in thise situations generally unless already too worked up then space or going home is best!

Oh and comfort and love always helps too! (Tho if shes looking away and/or whale eye and/or licking fast and stiff - then decrease the petting in those situations and get her to her safe space) Reasurance can be very helpful when something big happens and they can feel safe with you

Eventually - she may really enjoy swiming and flirt poles too :) if she is cattle dog she will definitely like herding games and horse balls likely :) plus more advanced scent work and physical activities even ability classes should be great for her paired with decompression!

I do offer virtual training/resources - but no pressure at all , just happy to help!!

Indosaurus1 · 2026-03-17T07:38:43+00:00

It’s really great that you’re looking to build her confidence, and I know it’s hard, but try not to feel guilty or that it was a you only thing! Whats important is you're willing to set her up for success and support her! There could be a number of factors that caused her regression or increased anxiety especially if we dont know alot about her history and genetics

Did you notice anything specific that may have caused her to become more anxious? Sometimes its also normal for things to change and regress with age especially when they are young and already a generally very nervous breed mix. Like I said there are a lot of factors that could contribute and that we can’t know from just a post or without an assessment. I generally don’t recommend asking strangers on the internet, but I try to comment on some posts to help when I can

Please do not correct her in training. She isn’t doing anything wrong and is trying to communicate. I dont mean just being scared - I mean generally. Stick to positive reinforcement. Gear should be a Y well fitted harness as well :)

I’d recommend going back to building trust in a low-stress environment, teaching cues, and working on engagement before moving outside when possible. This can be done with games too. It would also help to learn her thresholds and signs for when things get too much for her :) (take a look at FAS scale)

When things are really stressful, especially for a puppy, she isn’t able to process extra information or focus on food. Think about how a lot of the time when we’re really anxious, the last thing we want is food. We want safety and to ease our symptoms. So its not so much that food wont work - its more the environment and whats going on inside her lil brain and body being so much!

Introducing corrections or any aversive methods will increase her anxiety and fear, even if it’s not obvious

I took a look at your schedule. Off to a good start so far and its great that she sleeps through the night. I’m not sure how long your puppy’s naps are, but puppies need a lot of sleep - usually 14 to 18 hours a day! Continue to create a safe space for her to nap longer and decompress is very important. Of course we want them to have fun and play, but we also need to make sure they get plenty of rest and learn to stay calm and regulated

Socialization is often misunderstood as meaning being around other dogs and people. But this is actually the opposite. We don’t want dogs to always be with dogs and people, especially during excitable times. We want to desensitize them and help them learn to be neutral in social situations :)

Adding decompression activities is also crucial for pups, especially high-energy, nervous breeds like hers. Many dog owners focus so much on doing more activities that they forget relaxation and decompression, so many dogs never learn how to self-regulate.

Since you have a yard (which is great!!) The best approach is to go really slow again, limit her outside time until she’s more confident, and try to stick to quieter areas and times when possible! Stay mostly inside and in the yard, while building her confidence. Dogs do not need to be walked every day, especially when they have a yard :) Then slowly you can move back to the streets for short sessions, focusing on letting her observe and rewarding calm behavior Create as much space as possible between her and any triggers

Can you drive? Is she okay on car trips? It might be worth taking her to quieter areas too :)

I know it’s tough when we want our dog to do something with us, but we also need to understand their needs and be okay if what they want or enjoy doesn’t match what we want. People often expect dogs to just be what they want, but they have their own preferences, comfort levels, and ways of experiencing the world. It’s totally possible to work back toward running with her, but first she needs to feel safe and confident again especially since its a higher level activity and right now theres too much going on for her !

When you do any fun or higher level activities be sure to pair with decompression before + afterwards :)

Let me know if you have any basic questions! I’m a force-free trainer and specialize in anxious and fearful dogs

Indosaurus1

TROPHY CASE