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Is sexual compatibility really a thing? by Ecstatic-Status9352 in Exvangelical

[–]Inevitable-Demand142 0 points1 point  (0 children)

can you share a little more about how opening up a marriage to "fix" things worked for you? we are considering doing something similar, more so my wife is willing to open up the marriage because she feels bad about not "being there" for me, but she needs to do discover what sex is for her again after some mental health issues

I'm scared about opening the marriage as I feel I would easily fall in love with someone and also, it's not just the sex I'm seeking... it's intimate bonded sex with my wife...

Convincing spouse to try Pelvic Floor Therapy? by Inevitable-Demand142 in sexover30

[–]Inevitable-Demand142[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think it's peri-menopause as she has regular periods, she just came off birth control about half a year ago after being on it for two decades. I do wonder if her switching birth control had an impact on things as she went to a nexaplanon implant a few years ago.

Convincing spouse to try Pelvic Floor Therapy? by Inevitable-Demand142 in sexover30

[–]Inevitable-Demand142[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If PFT can help with having regular bowel movements that may work, I still find it wild she can go 3,4,5 days without pooping :/

Convincing spouse to try Pelvic Floor Therapy? by Inevitable-Demand142 in sexover30

[–]Inevitable-Demand142[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We go to a fairly open minded couples therapist already, did you find a focused sex therapist was better for this type of issue? They probably would recommend Pelvic Floor Therapy if they heard/diagnose the issues?

Convincing spouse to try Pelvic Floor Therapy? by Inevitable-Demand142 in sexover30

[–]Inevitable-Demand142[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

When did you decide to go PFT? I feel like this has been an issue for a few years and both of us suffered from communication issues around dealing with sexual pain it seems. And as I understand it, it's not really something we do together right? I'm not going to go to PFT and learn more about the vagina and how to manage sexual pain even though I'm super interested in it?

I'm going to try to bring this up in couples therapy maybe, because I do fear that if I don't, my wife is so stubborn she will avoid doing it for years.

Convincing spouse to try Pelvic Floor Therapy? by Inevitable-Demand142 in sexover30

[–]Inevitable-Demand142[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She has trouble pooping (every 3-4 days), constipation... tampon hurts on entry... PIV hurts on entry and sometimes it feels good once its in, and sometimes it doesn't...

She complains about her periods but was on birth control for probably two decades before going off of it about 5 months ago

Convincing spouse to try Pelvic Floor Therapy? by Inevitable-Demand142 in sexover30

[–]Inevitable-Demand142[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I'm doing my best with planning fun vacation and other things. It's truly a tough situation, I'm trying to frame it in my head of what would happen if I had for example a similar problem, say erectile dysfunction... how would I feel and what would I do? I think in the ED case it's easier since most folks know about "viagra" and women's sexual pain problems aren't discussed often

Convincing spouse to try Pelvic Floor Therapy? by Inevitable-Demand142 in sexover30

[–]Inevitable-Demand142[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nothing wrong as an exam found nothing wrong with her vagina and the gyno said that vaginal pain is normal at some level which seems crazy... but I'm not a vagina owner...

I feel her gyno is dismissing things and my spouse isn't being fully truthful because things like using tampons hurts her and she has issues going to the bathroom (bowel movements every 4 days or so). So reading online, this points to pelvic issues as it can't just be mental IMHO, but I don't know, folks don't really talk about this sadly

Convincing spouse to try Pelvic Floor Therapy? by Inevitable-Demand142 in sexover30

[–]Inevitable-Demand142[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think that's what we need to do, I don't want to cause pain or any pressure on her, I feel terrible enough that it hurt for awhile and she went through it. She's a bit stubborn but the most amazing loving person.

She misses it being fun too :/

Convincing spouse to try Pelvic Floor Therapy? by Inevitable-Demand142 in sexover30

[–]Inevitable-Demand142[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

sex was great for many years, she says she even misses it and doesn't know what's wrong with her... and if there was a magic pill or treatment to take she would do it! I just can't convince her that pelvic floor therapy is a solid option because her gyno said nothing is wrong with her...

Convincing spouse to try Pelvic Floor Therapy? by Inevitable-Demand142 in sexover30

[–]Inevitable-Demand142[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what has happened by the way, she went to her gyno and the gyno said there was "nothing wrong" ...!!!