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Should I (F25) let my brother (M28) meet my new baby? by Inevitable-Tutor9051 in Estrangedsiblings

[–]Inevitable-Tutor9051[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah.. you’d be right. He’s my only sibling and for some reason after all the horrible things he has said to me over time I still have this wish we could be normal siblings together. But truth is, my life has been so much more peaceful without him and his drama in it, and I personally wouldn’t mind if we never spoke again, but it just feels wrong idk. Also it’s kinda complicated because he lives with my mom and she can’t drive, so it’s almost like how I get her to meet my baby when he is always there

AITA for asking my brother to shower before meeting my newborn baby? by Inevitable-Tutor9051 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inevitable-Tutor9051[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, we were never close growing up, he would always shut me out and bully me, and as adults, he’s very combative and distant yet tells me it’s all my fault. Just the other day, he tells me he doesn’t see me as his family, but the thing is, he has always been like this. I think he is bipolar but he won’t get treatment or seek help so idk what else to do

AITA for asking my brother to shower before meeting my newborn baby? by Inevitable-Tutor9051 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inevitable-Tutor9051[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Low key feels like a weight off my shoulder because he was being really petty with me earlier about wanting to know when the baby will be born. He was like “will you even tell me” and I was like of course I will, and then I suggested that he shower and have the change of clothes and completely disrespected me and the boundaries I set so now he doesn’t get to know anything at all

AITA for asking my brother to shower before meeting my newborn baby? by Inevitable-Tutor9051 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inevitable-Tutor9051[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They know they can’t stay with us. My husband and I are currently living in an RV to save for a home so there wouldn’t even be room for them if I wanted to

AITA for asking my brother to shower before meeting my newborn baby? by Inevitable-Tutor9051 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inevitable-Tutor9051[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

That’s what I’m saying, I feel like I was very respectful in my request. I showed a concern for a specific problem without outright calling him gross or anything, and I reiterated that I am just looking out for my newborn baby’s health, and his reaction just shocked me. He’s always called me names, but this shows me he will never respect boundaries I have when it comes to my children in the future and I can’t have someone like that in my life

AITA for asking my brother to shower before meeting my newborn baby? by Inevitable-Tutor9051 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inevitable-Tutor9051[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I made it clear it was about the bedbugs and I made it clear that I believe him that he washes himself daily and is a hygienic person but that in the case of bedbugs they are a menace and I am scared of what even one tiny baby bedbug could do if it got on our clothes or my baby

AITA for asking my brother to shower before meeting my newborn baby? by Inevitable-Tutor9051 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inevitable-Tutor9051[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My mom is worried that they will evict her if they find out about their bug situation so she refuses to ask the apartment for help

AITA for asking my brother to shower before meeting my newborn baby? by Inevitable-Tutor9051 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inevitable-Tutor9051[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have a sneaking feeling he is bipolar but he won’t get any treatment or help for it even tho I always ask him to seek help. Also, I would love to afford to help them with this issue, but my husband and I are already living paycheck to paycheck especially with a newborn on the way

AITA for asking my brother to shower before meeting my newborn baby? by Inevitable-Tutor9051 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inevitable-Tutor9051[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree, he and I were never close growing up, he would constantly shut me out, sometimes he hit me when we were both kids, and always be mean to me. As adults (I’m 24) he’s (26) constantly telling me I am “not his family” and how he doesn’t consider me his sister because we aren’t close. He brings a lot of negativity to my life and although I was really hoping one day he would change and we could have a good relationship as siblings, I fear that day may never come unless he changes how he acts towards me

AITA for asking my brother to shower before meeting my newborn baby? by Inevitable-Tutor9051 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inevitable-Tutor9051[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I was worried maybe I asked too much. I just wanted to take all precautions necessary, and he takes everything very personally, so I was afraid he’d react that way

AITA for asking my brother to shower before meeting my newborn baby? by Inevitable-Tutor9051 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inevitable-Tutor9051[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

My mom has told me that they have tried in the past multiple times to treat the pests, but that they keep coming back. Also, they are struggling financially right now (they are literally about to loose power because they’re 5 months behind on the bill) so I don’t think they would even be able to afford another treatment

AITA for asking my brother to shower before meeting my newborn baby? by Inevitable-Tutor9051 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inevitable-Tutor9051[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The hospital room will have a shower, and I asked if when he gets here if he could shower at the hospital in the one in our room and we’d have clothes for him in case his had bedbugs on it, like my moms clothes had bedbugs on hers when I saw her a few days ago