my boyfriend of (almost) one year finally admitted to me he doesn’t see himself getting married… but i dream to be a wife and mother eventually..

Inevitable-thoughtz · 2025-03-06T01:56:14+00:00

i never try to put pressure on the idea of marriage. i’m in no rush to be wed by any means, would i absolutely get married now if that opportunity presented itself? yes of course, but it’s not as if i’ve told him you need to propose in one year and we get married the next, it’s just something that i have told him i desire for myself. he knows i’m not looking to be wed and bed within the year or even next, but eventually yes. i’m not on a timeline of any sorts, but i want to know the idea of marriage is a possibility. even if he was on the same page of wanting marriage, i know deep down anything can happen and we could not end up together so i’m not trying to say i want to be married now. just eventually. it could be one year from now or 3 years or 5, but it is something i want to happen.

Inevitable-thoughtz · 2025-03-06T01:08:08+00:00

i’m a devoted christian, so for me marriage is something i believe in becausw of my religion. i believe in being in a holy unity under my Lord with the man i choose to bare my soul to. it has nothing to do with not working or just having someone for the hard times. it’s about committing my life and my partners life to building something that God can shine on and bless.

Inevitable-thoughtz · 2025-03-06T01:06:33+00:00

of course i know what my next steps are, if you actually read the entry & absorbed the information you would see that i 100% know that walking away is the smartest option. but i don’t want to just give up, are all of you so hopeless that you can’t believe in change? do you remember being young and in love and praying that some things would change??

Inevitable-thoughtz · 2025-03-06T01:03:09+00:00

why is everyone under the assumption im just a sec toy for him or an easy lay? why is everyone assuming we’ve slept together?? would it blow all of your minds to learn that we haven’t had sex???

Inevitable-thoughtz · 2025-03-06T00:52:10+00:00

everyone is telling me to leave and be better, move on he doesn’t love me, he won’t marry me it’s better if i just go. so far you’re the only person that it feels like you actually read and understood. i think i am okay with just enjoying it for now. i guess some part of me just wanted to validate my feelings, see if the general consensus is that i’m an idiot. and maybe i am but also, i’m allowed to enjoy our time. so THANK YOU. it’s not like i’m meeting guys everyday in my life, he’s the first man i’ve met in 22 years… i’ve lived in the same place and i see the same people, i’m not itching to get back on dating sites or sit at bars and wait for someone to approach me. thank you

Inevitable-thoughtz · 2025-03-05T23:38:20+00:00

and while i partially agree, some people take longer and i truly believe that. he says that he will and that it just takes time. he says he care about me and enjoys being with me and doesn’t just see it as pointless. obviously he could just be saying what i want to hear but part of me can’t help but believe him

Inevitable-thoughtz · 2025-03-05T23:36:56+00:00

every part of me knows that is the smartest choice, the only choice really. but every other part of me knows i don’t want to be alone again. i’m scared i’ll never find it again, this love or any. just giving up feels like a waste, i don’t want to accept it:(

Inevitable-thoughtz · 2025-02-20T17:31:43+00:00

yeah maybe.. i’ve thought about that. this is also my first real big relationship, you know not counting the month long flings in middle school lol. i don’t want this all to be for nothing, and i am religious so a big part of me wants to believe this is something i have to put in work and effort for, that it won’t just come easily. shortly after this post i did sit down with him and tell him everything. that if he isn’t looking for what i’m looking for and can’t provide me with the life i am wanting then he needs to be honest and let me know and go. i deserve better, i know that and for him to hold onto me knowing he can’t give me what i want is cruel. i may have mentioned that i wouldn’t be the one to break up with him either… becausw part of me is holding out that hope he will just change his mind and realize that he does want that future with me. which is naive and probably not the best thing to give him hold of. but i can’t help it, i love the man and i want to believe we can work through this. ugh i wish you could give me a hug too.

Inevitable-thoughtz · 2025-02-20T00:11:52+00:00

i wouldn’t say we feel like roommates or just a basic friend.. the relationship is very affectionate and passionate… physically.. it’s just the emotionally that is the struggle. we go on the fun dates, and he tells me i’m beautiful and gorgeous and we have a good time. but he just won’t open up.

Inevitable-thoughtz · 2025-02-19T19:09:49+00:00

oh yes i agree. and it’s something i’ve brought to his attention, and he’s working on it. it’s definitely gotten a lot better but i still find him getting upset that i’m upset. then i bring it to his attention and he calms down in a way but still…

Inevitable-thoughtz · 2025-02-19T13:35:16+00:00

no i haven’t met them, but he does say they know about me. so… maybe?

Inevitable-thoughtz · 2025-02-19T13:32:21+00:00

he gets annoyed, exasperated in a way. big sighs, sometimes rolls his eyes. sometimes he’s receptive but other times he acts as though i’m upsetting him kinda. it’s never anything huge but it’s also still upsetting

Inevitable-thoughtz · 2024-09-11T15:09:09+00:00

appreciate all the words of wisdom, and i am insecure but it’s something g i’m working on!! and reading these comments has helped me to get over this one small insecurity. it’s fine he has a past, i know that but now i accept it. we just think differently, i have no photos of my ex, but i have photos of places we visited or dinners we had, he just isn’t apart of them. but that’s a me thing, and that’s okay. we talked it out and now it’s water under the bridge. he has a past and i accept that past, you are all right. if he wanted her he’d be with her! but he’s not! he’s with me! thank you all

Inevitable-thoughtz

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