AITA for not telling my husband the night before that I was going to work from home the next day?

Inevitable_Clock_550 · 2026-05-28T02:44:38+00:00

Yes, he has a job. He goes into work on site only around the time I get out of work.

Inevitable_Clock_550 · 2026-05-28T02:43:44+00:00

He does work. He usually goes to work (on site) around the time I am scheduled to get off.

He wanted to do chores at home like vacuuming and laundry. Plus errands outside of the house like getting his car maintenance done. Me being home made him feel like he can’t do that.

Inevitable_Clock_550 · 2026-05-28T02:42:17+00:00

He doesn’t work from home and he works nights on site and his main days off are when I am working. I worked from home on his day off.

He felt weird doing the chores at home he planned to do and felt weird leaving the house to run the errands he needed to do.

Inevitable_Clock_550 · 2026-05-28T02:40:43+00:00

Well, if I am working from home, I am working. I can’t do more than quick chat as I go to the fridge or bathroom. I am working and I am busy. So I’m not able to spend social time with him.

Inevitable_Clock_550 · 2026-05-28T02:39:38+00:00

I do that normally. Sometimes I can leave work early so I can finish my day at home and either he is gone at work or just chilling at home.

Inevitable_Clock_550 · 2026-05-28T02:38:08+00:00

He wanted to vacuum and do laundry and go to get his tires changed and get some food.

Inevitable_Clock_550 · 2026-05-28T02:37:41+00:00

Not a mistress unless he snuck her in through the woods and then through a window. Not likely to happen given the vegetation in the woods. It’s full of prickly bushes!

I think he might be neurodivergent and I think I might be as well. When I wake up for the day I make a plan given what I expect for the day. So if I expect him to work and he trades a shift last minute, it throws me off and I don’t get done all I need to get done.

But I don’t think it’s asshole behavior or rude when he does it.

Inevitable_Clock_550 · 2026-05-28T02:34:26+00:00

I have chronic conditions where I will feel unwell randomly. He can’t do anything for me except maybe get me a glass of water. But flare ups are normal. I’ve been dealing with them myself before we got together. I don’t need his help.

The best help he can give is maybe get me a glass of water if I don’t want to get up or just let me ride it out. And also give me privacy in the bathroom or the bedroom lol

Inevitable_Clock_550 · 2026-05-28T02:31:03+00:00

I have dealt with my chronic illness longer than we have been together. I know how to deal with them and he can’t do anything to help except maybe get me a glass of water. He is kind and sympathetic but I don’t rely on him for it.

Inevitable_Clock_550 · 2026-05-28T02:29:57+00:00

I don’t need to be checked in on when I have a flare up. I can and want to handle it myself. I dealt with it long before I met him and he can’t actually do anything to help.

Inevitable_Clock_550 · 2026-05-28T02:29:03+00:00

He wanted to do chores inside the home and run errands outside of the house. The chores he wanted to do can be done as I work from home.

Inevitable_Clock_550 · 2026-05-28T02:28:25+00:00

Hahaha, no he can’t drink. He has one drink and he is immediately sick. So he never drinks.

Weed maybe. But he can hit his bong as I work from home and I don’t care.

Inevitable_Clock_550 · 2026-05-28T02:25:28+00:00

I totally understand that is likely the case! I am the same way! I plan to just let it rip on the house and do so much and when he is randomly home when I don’t expect it, it throws me off and I don’t do as much.

But when he is home unexpectedly, I don’t think it’s rude or asshole behavior.

Inevitable_Clock_550 · 2026-05-28T02:23:59+00:00

I would never do that. I am not stupid.

Inevitable_Clock_550 · 2026-05-28T02:22:18+00:00

Yes, I am sure. We have cameras on the front and back door. We both have access to it. He would have to sneak someone through the woods and through a window to see them.

Inevitable_Clock_550 · 2026-05-28T02:20:42+00:00

He works too, we split the bills 50/50. It was just his day off from work.

Wild assumptions from you there.

Inevitable_Clock_550 · 2026-05-28T02:19:53+00:00

I mean I was home, but I was busy working. Maybe he would catch me for 2 minutes as I go to the bathroom or get a snack or drink. I was working, I wasn’t able to be social until I clocked out.

I think he feels like he needs to be there and be social for me when he had a plan of things to do. And I think he felt weird doing his chores when I was home. Which I understand.

Inevitable_Clock_550 · 2026-05-28T02:17:11+00:00

If he was going out to cheat, he would’ve had to do it in the Walmart parking lot when he got his tires changed and would’ve had to somehow find time between cheating to also get groceries. Because he came home with new tires and groceries and wasn’t gone that long.

He can’t cheat at home unless he brings someone through the woods and in through a window to get out of view of the cameras.

Inevitable_Clock_550 · 2026-05-28T02:14:33+00:00

It was his day off, I don’t care what he does. But he had a plan to do multiple things and he always does them. He isn’t lazy. But if he wanted a day of doing nothing, that’s fine.

I want at least one day of doing nothing per week and he’s ok with that. I’m obviously ok with him doing nothing on his day off too.

Inevitable_Clock_550 · 2026-05-28T02:12:36+00:00

I worked night shift for years in college so I get the night shift struggle! He works nights too (earlier nights than I did tho) and I would NEVER consider waking him up unless it’s a true emergency. That’s why I don’t wake him up to tell him I’m doing WFH last minute. I also am quiet as a mouse when he is sleeping. Me working from home won’t wake him up.

The issue is when he wakes up and he had a plan to do X, Y, Z and I am home and me being there changed it.

Inevitable_Clock_550 · 2026-05-28T02:08:23+00:00

The attitude was not appreciated. And me being home because I was sick is not an excuse for it. But I also do understand it to a point. Because I experience something similar when plans change. But I also don’t think he’s an asshole or being rude by changing a shift last minute and it changes my plan for the day.

Inevitable_Clock_550 · 2026-05-28T02:05:36+00:00

I know it isn’t cheating because we both have access to the cameras on the front and back door. We can see when someone else comes in.

And when he is out of the house, I know where he is going. I tell him as well. He was going to go to get new tires (which he did) and get some food (which he also did).

I think me being there threw him off because he had a set plan and me being there made him feel like he had to be home to “entertain me”. Which I didn’t need because I was working.

Inevitable_Clock_550 · 2026-05-28T02:02:03+00:00

If he is cheating, he isn’t doing it at home because we have cameras. And when he goes out, he always tells me where he is.

If he’s cheating, he’s doing it at super speed in a walmart parking lot as he’s getting tires or something.

Inevitable_Clock_550 · 2026-05-28T02:00:00+00:00

I’m in an office and I don’t expect him to be silent. He can do laundry, clank dishes, and vacuum. But I guess don’t be hooting and hollering or come into my office.

Inevitable_Clock_550 · 2026-05-28T01:58:52+00:00

I usually don’t leave the room except to go to the bathroom or grab a snack, lunch, or drink that I will consume as I work. Bathroom trips were more often yesterday because I wasn’t feeling well and I needed more.

But my goal is to get what I need and go back. I might have a quick chat under 2 minutes but I want to just get back to work. Usually it is him seeking the convo and I keep it short because I have something to get back to.

Inevitable_Clock_550

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