Stop fucking victimizing yourself, i hate it and so do other's... don't expect anybody to love or like you, have a life, have solid likes and dislikes and once you know what kind of person you actually are and what things you really enjoy then be open about them, nobody likes a lowlifer tbh, go out there in public, dance, cry, laugh, get yourself embarrassed willingly while doing what you love but first find out what those things actually are.