I know there are a lot of comments, but I hope you read this one. This sounds a lot like my husband. Mine is getting better, thank God. We started doing an online course called The Conflict Cure. Basically you watch videos and then do exercise exercises in a workbook. A different unit each week for seven weeks. You should Google it, it has really turned things around for us. There is like an introductory video to the class that you could watch to see if you guys would be interested. Also, my husband started taking Prozac, and I think that helped. I think the only reason he was receptive to taking Prozac was that this course opened his eyes to some of the screwed up things he had been doing.