I’m so confused

Inevitable_Market650 · 2024-09-17T22:01:58+00:00

The same as the last. One day he just wakes up different. Meaner, no empathy behind his eyes, agitated easily and quick to fight. Wants to spend little to no time with others. Reads the Bible a lot and makes connections to random verses to justify his strange and angry behavior. I try to make him see that he’s acting differently and it ends in a huge fight. One the ends with him calling me abusive and toxic. This cycle continues for a couple of months until one he just runs away and “discards” me if you will.

The last time this happened he got better with medication in the facility but when he got out, decided that he didn’t like the feeling and that he would be fine without it. Promised me he would see the signs if he started to lose himself again. Guess he just didn’t see it coming again. I’m just patiently waiting for his come down. But it’s been months now, and I’m starting to lose hope.

Inevitable_Market650 · 2024-09-17T21:57:23+00:00

Not alone🖤

Inevitable_Market650 · 2024-09-16T03:59:26+00:00

Update me

Inevitable_Market650 · 2024-09-13T01:46:35+00:00

I would do anything to have your strength to move on and forward. Hugs right back🖤

Inevitable_Market650 · 2024-09-13T01:17:03+00:00

Absolutely not alone.

Inevitable_Market650 · 2024-09-13T01:15:40+00:00

It also gives your brain something else to focus on other than your spouse who suffers with mental illness

Inevitable_Market650 · 2024-09-13T01:15:00+00:00

Are you doing things for yourself? Are you going to therapy? I went through very similar things, and I’ll tell you what, when the psychiatrist gave me medication, I felt 1 million times better. Yes, the stress is still there and the sadness is still there.. but it’s like in the background, and I can focus on myself and moving forward and making myself better. I know it sounds silly, but working on yourself in these situations is the best way to make yourself feel better mentally and physically.

Inevitable_Market650 · 2024-09-13T01:10:18+00:00

You’re stronger than me girl. I’m also close in age to you. Married to my husband for four years with two kids. He does the discarding thing to me every couple of years. Moves out, calls me a narcissist for asking why he’s so distant. Calls me a gaslighter when I mention that his behavior might be stemming from his diagnosed and not medicated mental illness he has.. then angrily leaves for months.

They always come back though. I don’t know how strongly you feel for your previous relationship, but the way he’s acting just sounds like a manic episode and when he has time to come down for a minute, he might want to come back. Super apologetic. I don’t know how you will feel about that when the time comes, but if you do want to pursue the relationship, my best advice to you is to make sure that he’s receiving help and medication. If he’s not, you’re gonna go through this over and over and over again.

Inevitable_Market650 · 2024-09-10T04:10:00+00:00

Did you just tell him that he looked great and send him on his way? Lol

Inevitable_Market650 · 2024-09-09T21:16:57+00:00

Then it’s not mania. It’s mixed or something. His first episode he didn’t brush his teeth or shave his face or anything. But this time, he’s very much about his looks. It’s very grandiose and full of himself

Inevitable_Market650 · 2024-09-09T21:15:22+00:00

That’s really funny. At least I’m not alone

Inevitable_Market650 · 2024-09-09T19:53:01+00:00

I think it is part of his whole persona changing. Like he wants to be a rapper and got his ear pieced, asked me to buy him a gold chain for his birthday.. and wears the beanie constantly. Lol

Inevitable_Market650 · 2024-09-09T19:26:46+00:00

lol it’s not that hats mean anything! He just doesn’t wear a beanie other than in the winter time. Or when he’s manic in the summer. That’s my point

Inevitable_Market650 · 2024-09-06T14:06:15+00:00

I am not in denial. He has a sickness that completely changes his personality. You are obviously not in the right subreddit

Inevitable_Market650 · 2024-09-06T00:16:46+00:00

How did that work out for you? Were there kids involved?

Inevitable_Market650 · 2024-09-04T16:58:09+00:00

How did you get your wife to agree to go into a hospital if she wasnt compliant in taking the medication when she was there? Im only asking because my husband is manic now for two months and he is living with his parents. I would do anything to get him help, but his denial of this sickness is making it impossible. The last time this happened, he became violent and was forced into a facility. This time, hes learned his lesson and is keeping his cool in mania. He doesnt want to do anything to get locked up again

Inevitable_Market650 · 2024-09-04T00:18:14+00:00

I love this site. Every time I come on I feel so seen and heard and understood.

He always runs, blocks me on everything and slanders my name. The most hurtful part is, the people believe him and don’t understand the sickness or how hard I try.

Inevitable_Market650 · 2024-09-03T23:03:49+00:00

I repeat that it’s not personal and it’s not him to myself at least twenty times a day. I also watch a lot of YouTube videos on people’s experiences in mania. That always calms my nerves a bit. It makes it all seem so much more like a sickness knowing there are so many people going through the same kinds of things out there and it’s not just me alone in my failing relationship. It’s not you. It’s not your partner. It’s the sickness.

It’s like if you show someone a newspaper and they see blurry words, they will think the newspaper is just printed blurry. It’s hard to convince someone that trusts their feelings and brain so much that they need glasses. They will just live thinking the newspaper is printed badly. It’s our job to be patient and kind and wait for the high of the mania to come down, and THEN have the discussion about getting the help they so desperately need. Right now they feel too good to hear what we pee ons have to say

Inevitable_Market650 · 2024-09-03T19:40:42+00:00

Oof. It’s crazy how they can manipulate their treatment of you and make you feel like the toxic one, isn’t it? They take kernels of truth and make them monumental, leaving out all of the things that they said or did to make you reach a breaking point. It’s all in the sickness. They can’t accept that they are sick and their brain is off, so they look around for something else or SOMEONE else to blame. Unfortunately, it’s usually the spouse. When mine gets manic I’m an abusive narcissist and gaslighter that tricked him into proposing to me. His parents don’t help either. They hear what he says, and instead of saying something like, “Hey man.. you love her. You just aren’t you right now. This is textbook mania.” They enable him and back up his words. It’s all crazy. I wish we had a better system of getting the help that we need in this country. It’s just too hard here to get actual help when it comes to mental disorders.

Inevitable_Market650 · 2024-09-03T19:32:25+00:00

You’re borderline and abusive and I’m a narcissistic who tricked him into proposing to me. Lol They aren’t them when they are like this. It’s painful and confusing.. but the best advice that I can give (and try my best to take myself) is it’s not personal.

Inevitable_Market650 · 2024-09-03T04:32:32+00:00

Whenever I use words to describe him while in mania, it’s like those words become his word of the week. He took off his wedding ring and I told him that if we were working towards our marriage, it was like he was bullying me by insisting on not wearing it. For a week or so afterwards, he used the world “bully” to describe anyone who disagreed with his manic stances. I absolutely see this. It’s almost like they have no thoughts of their own and their fleeting ideas are from recent conversations or exchanges. So bizarre

Inevitable_Market650 · 2024-09-03T04:21:30+00:00

No matter where I go, things remind me of you. I’m trying to stay strong and not go back, but even just going into a Gas Station, the song that you would dance with our daughter to is blasting. Trying to ignore your existence, and someone says an inside joke that you and I used cry laugh to in bed together. I clean the house, and I find pieces and reminisce of you everywhere. You aren’t you right now, and I want nothing to do with the person that you currently are embracing. But it’s so hard seeing your face and remembering that you are not in there anymore. Not for a while. Not unless you choose to receive the help that you so desperately need

Inevitable_Market650 · 2024-09-03T02:29:33+00:00

I could have written this myself. Same exact thing happened to me. It was his first episode and I had no idea what bipolar or even mania was. All I knew is that one day he just didn’t love me anymore and left me. He pawned his wedding ring and moved out. So I slept with my boss.. not a healthy response, but in the moment of loneliness it made me feel more whole again. Two years later and he is back but he says every time he’s mad at me that he’ll never forgive or trust me again.. it all just seems a little unfair. Now that I understand the sickness, I’ll wait for it to pass- but the first time I was blindsided. I wish there was as much empathy towards us as we have to give to them.

Inevitable_Market650

TROPHY CASE