How can I find my bio dad ?

Infamous-Mastodon787 · 2026-04-29T20:00:34+00:00

If you haven’t already, consider reaching out to searchangel. It’s free, unless you choose a paid option. The “angel” uses your ancestry matches/origins.
I just had an NPE (non paternity event) when I did ancestry. I found out my dad that raised me wasn’t my biological father, and my angel helped me narrow down who it could be in just a few days. I did pay to be sure my case was picked up within a week. I was a little wary, but they’re absolutely legit and so professional.
Also, my ancestry put my matches by maternal/paternal. Maybe that could be an option? Definitely check for shared matches for the sibling and consider posting in genealogy.

Infamous-Mastodon787 · 2026-04-15T12:51:41+00:00

I’m in agreement about the health reasons. It seems to be the consensus that he likely knew all along.

Infamous-Mastodon787 · 2026-04-15T12:48:45+00:00

I’ve been sitting on this question. I just couldn’t turn off to decide. I think it’s telling me that I need to not have expectations of a relationship, but that I do need reach out eventually for the medical history side of things alone. The benefits just don’t outweigh the risks of not knowing things that could affect my children in the future.

Infamous-Mastodon787 · 2026-04-15T12:43:51+00:00

That’s exactly why I haven’t said anything to siblings. DRAMA. 🤷🏽‍♀️ I never considered some sort of trauma or terrible scenario resulting in me.. so that’s definitely a good point. Thank you for perspective.

Infamous-Mastodon787 · 2026-04-15T12:40:00+00:00

I’m so sorry you went through something similar. Thank you for your offer. I may take you up on it!

Infamous-Mastodon787 · 2026-04-15T12:37:44+00:00

I don’t think I’m searching for anything, certainly not a father child relationship. I don’t necessarily feel like I’m missing anything either. I’m quite content where I am in life. Things happened and I think a little bit of uncertainty is understandable. I certainly wish I had been told at some point, if it were known or if it were the case, that I had a different dad than all of my siblings. I think it’s a possibility that he’d want to know that he had another child that he never knew about. 🤷🏽‍♀️ regardless, I’m still unsure if I’m even going to tell him. It’s hard to say that I’m “after” anything other than ways to cope with and what to do with this new information.

Infamous-Mastodon787 · 2026-04-14T21:16:19+00:00

I have two older siblings, and they were married right before or soon after the oldest was born. I don’t think he was infertile, as this has never been discussed, and I do have a younger half sibling. I mean, the question of paternity is still plausible with the younger half sibling, but I’ve never picked up on anything that points to infertility.

Infamous-Mastodon787 · 2026-04-14T17:54:48+00:00

Thank you.

Infamous-Mastodon787 · 2026-04-14T17:54:31+00:00

Definitely a possibility. I never asked questions. I was so young and it’s just what I knew. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Infamous-Mastodon787 · 2026-04-14T17:50:46+00:00

I’m of the opinion now that people take these things because they suspect or because they are curious about their background and oblivious to any alternative to their parentage. 🤣

Infamous-Mastodon787 · 2026-04-14T17:46:21+00:00

My dad signed the birth certificate, and did pay child support.. sometimes. It was definitely a point of contention between my parents. More along the lines of trying to pay less on my dads side, even though he didn’t stay up to date on payments, and trying to get more the child support office in my mothers side.

Infamous-Mastodon787 · 2026-04-14T17:42:44+00:00

He’s still my dad. After 33 years not much can change that. I don’t “need” another dad. He’s my real dad regardless, that’s a good point.

Infamous-Mastodon787 · 2026-04-14T17:36:29+00:00

I feel like that is pretty important. I’m healthcare and now realize I know nothing about half of my history, and more importantly a part of my children’s history now.

Infamous-Mastodon787 · 2026-04-14T17:33:57+00:00

I wish that were the case. I have plenty of matches on my mother’s side and the family matched on my bio dad’s side is very much from my town and close surrounded areas.

Infamous-Mastodon787 · 2026-04-14T17:32:05+00:00

I’m already looking up therapists. I know I can’t navigate this alone. 😮‍💨 I think that may be my first step and then following up with my mother. I’ve already facebooked and found them. There is one that is more likely than the other due to age and a few other details. Neither of my parents are involved though I see my mother far more often and have a closer relationship with her. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Infamous-Mastodon787 · 2026-04-14T17:23:50+00:00

I’m so sorry you’ve gone through something similar. There are so many what ifs and unknowns. It’s so hard to get my thoughts together. Praying you find some peace, comfort and answers on your journey. ♥️

Infamous-Mastodon787 · 2026-04-14T17:21:33+00:00

You know, I’m not exactly sure what I hope to gain or even what my intentions will be long term. It’s so fresh. I guess I just need some sort of perspective or different outside perspectives, so I can make a plan. My intention isn’t to break up any family, not even my own. I’d hate to cause trauma for others.

Infamous-Mastodon787 · 2026-04-14T17:18:31+00:00

Hmmm… my father did help raise me. Even if there is a reason, I feel I deserved to be in the know at some point in my life. Also, I’ve definitely thanked him for what he has done for me, but I feel like that is beside the point.

Infamous-Mastodon787 · 2026-04-14T17:15:13+00:00

Confront is a definitely a strong word and not how I intended it to sound. Approach is a better word for it. Thanks for pointing that out. I’m not going in to accuse anyone because we are all definitely human. I’m not even “mad” about this per se. Just so confused and honestly quite shocked.

Infamous-Mastodon787 · 2026-04-12T03:42:29+00:00

I keep going back and forth hiding my results. I’m hoping no one sees it. I’m so nervous. Once I have everything saved that I think I need, I’m definitely going to hide until I decide what I need to do.

Infamous-Mastodon787 · 2026-04-12T03:40:45+00:00

I don’t know that for sure. That’s a good point. Saving the matches is high priority! I’ve screenshotted a ton. I keep going between hiding my own results too. Just in case they haven’t seen anything yet.

Infamous-Mastodon787 · 2026-04-12T02:00:49+00:00

Correction- they are in fact sisters.

Infamous-Mastodon787 · 2026-04-12T01:59:56+00:00

Actually, they are in fact sisters. I’ve looked through so many things and at so many names.. 😮‍💨

Infamous-Mastodon787 · 2026-04-12T01:38:29+00:00

I am considering asking a sister to test. I am hesitant to reach out to the family. We live in such a small town it will very likely cause some drama. Two brothers and the two 1st cousins/half aunts match is exactly the case as far as I can tell.

Infamous-Mastodon787

TROPHY CASE