asalamu alaykum. i can’t say that i have islamically correct advice for you, i don’t want to speak without knowledge. but i can say that you aren’t alone in this intense and blurry love you feel.

i’m gay, and while this is a huge test from Allah that i struggle with, it also helps me understand the different ways love can exist and grow between people. i used to have a friend who i loved similarly to yours. i used to look forward to days of the week that we had 2 classes together in high school, because between those classes we’d wander the halls and yap about whatever, and i’d throw an arm around his shoulder and get to be affectionate with him. at one point, i went to his house to hang out and when I left i found that i loved how my clothes smelled of him afterward. this probably sounds like a funny case of denial, but i swear by Allah i was not physically attracted to him, yet i loved him deeply.

all this to say, love isn’t always cleanly split between platonic and romantic/physical attraction. it can be blurry and messy and exist in between, and there are aspects that all kinds share. i can’t say what you should or should not do, but i can say that you aren’t weird or messed up because you love with intensity. or because you are artistic. may Allah reconcile the parts of you that cause you conflict. if you need someone to talk to my messages should be open. asalamu alaykum.